Asexuality

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Not sure if this belongs in the Mature Forum, but...
What makes someone who is asexual, asexual? I'm kinda wondering if I am...

What makes an asexual asexual? Neuro-structures. Hardwiring.

They reproduce without any help. Most fungi are asexual.

As far as sexual preference goes ... Asexuality is a misused term for people who do not seek "lust" they seek "love" weither it comes from a man or woman ... truthfully it is just another side effect of society's inability to confront their own humanity.

if you are not attracted to somebody that's fine. leave it at that. Over defining s**t is how we all became depndent on others opinions and also on things like quick fix drugs ... in general unless you have the ability to make yourself pregnant without using science you are either a Male or b Female and from that you are either A Homosexual (interested in the same sex) or Heterosexual(interested in the opposite sex) ...

One more little tid bit ... most Gay guys are not actually Gay. Gay is a very sketch subject. But I assure you that I have experimented and ended up realizing how lame it was ... honestly I could never love the penis. And those who can have a very different biology. I can not stand all of the people using "gayness" as a way to feel accepted ... if you have a sh***y father or a few horrible boyfriends do not try and tell me you're gay ... you are just afraid of being hurt again ... because America is a giant land full of cattle hand fed from birth and completely void of the concept formerly understood as responsibility.

Thats just my personal opinion.

-KarlEdward

Testosterone deficiency? Non-functional androgen receptors? I don't know... but I wish I was one... it would save me a whole lot of trouble.

Being without sexual feelings or associations? I suppose pre-pubescent kids are, though not forever stuck like that in their brains, necessarily. I was, or at least thought I was, 'till I was 15.

So wait a minute...if I had a...relationship with someone, but I based it off of love, and they on lust, and eventually I caught on and figured out that on HER end it was lust...but I wanted love...and that's all that I really want tbh...does that make me asexual?

Because honestly, what am I after? Love. I could care less if we share bodies. Additionally, when I see a hot chick, I'm more of the guy to say "I wonder if I could date her and maybe fall in love with her," instead of "I want her so badly for...something that I can't say because this is probably not the best place to use it in and the Mature Forum would be better to talk about it."

Go here: www.asexuality.org. It's a fantastic online community for asexual people, questioning asexuals, and allies.
There's a FAQ there that'll answer most of your questions.

see look man. You are only 2 years younger than I am. Hav you had sex yet? I did. I was 21 and could not hold myself back. I found a pretty girl who was already into me and we dated a few times became sexually active and then eventually I began to see her differently but really I did not see her differently I just was placed inot a place I had never been ... she was still just as beautiful my life was just ugly. It is a many layerd cake friend and you are just taking the first bite. keep trying but understand ... sexual attraction is in you. It is natural. And as a guy if you do not have even a slight sexual attraction to a woman you are naive beyond expression. I felt the same way you did but I also now especially understand exactly why it is a lie ... I want sex just as much as I wan tlove ... and in reality I want intamacy. it's Maslows hiarchy of needs friend. Simple as that.

Said it once I'll say it again we are not as "socially" incapable as we think ... and if we are then I am truly the 1st to try and solve everything and find the balence ... but rest assured friend you're not asexual just really really mature and intelligent for your age ... you know? You see? You should

i was before, but things have changed

Perhaps when you get to my age, and no-one ever gave you a chance. I really wish a lot of girls had shoved a broom handle up my rectum! At least I'd then be able to lay charges against them, given that they have inflicted just as much damage: by writing me off as Not Relationship Material, poisoning their friends' "minds" against me, and making sure no-one would want me in the future. As a result, I am incapable of having romantic or sexual feelings against anyone anymore.

Except maybe a broomhandle?

Yes, i did have sex. Biggest regret I ever made. See, I wanted to have sex and lose my virginity with someone who actually cared about me as much as I cared about them..she didn't, not one bit, because her friends not approving of me was the reason why we broke up. Admittedly, I did some things that drove her nuts, and she fought with me like every day, but using your friends as a reason to get rid of me? I doubt she cared about it at all. I would rather wait until marriage from this point on.

I could give you a whole list of possible reasons for why the whole reproductive process, sex and otherwise, seems at best strange and at worst horrifyingly invasive to me, but somewhere there is an asexual who does not have the same issue or set of issues. Some have had bad experiences, some have contact aversions, some don't like the whole pregnancy and childbearing thing, some have hormone issues, some are simply inexplicably wired that way, and some are whatever combination of the above and more. Depends on the asexual in question.

And I'm not accusing you of implying this, but just for the record, just because there is a reason for someone being a certain way does not mean that it's an unnatural anomaly, nor that it's not really who they are. So long as they're happy and comfortable in who they are, there's no reason that their asexuality should be less valid an orientation than any other.

Nobody knows for sure (unless there's been some big breakthrough since I last went on Aven), but it's probably a mix of factors. In fact, apparently Aspies have a higher probability of having atypical orientations, asexuality included... Though again, opinions seem to vary on whether there's a direct cause-effect thing there, or whether peer pressure plays a part in orientation and Aspies are just less influenced by it.

As BokeKaeru said, there's no single cause for it, and a lot of asexuals have no discernible one at all.

Besides the dictionary definition, my understanding of an asexual is that it is a person who is simply not interested in sex!

I find the term confusing because I hear the same members who claim they're asexual talk about how turned on they are by this or that sometimes. I've even asked if it's just the sex or both sex and physical attraction. So I get a mixed answere thus I think the word asexual is illogical to use since it means one who can reproduce themselves.