Religion and Relationships

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If you were with somebody who was of a different religion or lifestyle, would you be open to convert to his/her beliefs?

In all honesty, probably not.

But then I would not expect them to convert to mine either. I have always believed everyone is entitled to finding their own "path" and I try to respect their choices without trying to change or influence them, as long as they can also do the same...unfortunately most can't.

I ask because I don't feel that I can date anyone unless they have the same beliefs as me.

But it seems that everybody with the same beliefs as me is already in a relationship (especially distressing when considering that I am only willing to date other Aspies). It seems like all the female Aspies who are single are very conservative and prudish, and I am an ultra-liberal hipster.

I wouldn't be able to do it. It's the first thing I make sure about, that we share the same faith, otherwise there's no conceivable way it will work out between me and her. It'd be a mistake to me to change my entire worldview for the sake of acceptance from one person.

What I am basically looking for is a female Aspie who is a liberal hippie- or hipster-type, but there aren't any in the Austin-San Antonio area, and even when I do look in other parts of the country or world, there still aren't very many who are single.

So my plan would be to see if someone who is conservative would be willing to adopt more liberal views.

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 19 Jul 2008, 5:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Holding the same personal beliefs is a pretty important thing in long term relationships as far as I know. Only a few can stay married to someone of different beliefs than their own.

I'm pretty much agnostic so I'd only really go for women who are along those same beliefs.

As far as religion goes, I am a Lutheran, but many people with the same interests are atheists, agnostics, or practice something like Wicca, or paganism.

Many people believe that it's not possible to be both Christian and liberal, but that is false. I learned a lot of my liberal beliefs from being Lutheran.

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 19 Jul 2008, 6:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

No. I don't think that's the way you should enter a religion. Changing your religion to suit a partner puts them on a higher pedestal than the deity/deities you're supposed to be worshipping and makes it essentially a 'going through the motions' religion. It's a dishonest thing to do, really. If you convert to the religion independently, that's a different thing - that's what my brother-in-law did while in a relationship with my sister. But by no means did he 'do it for her.'

Yet finding someone who is a Christian and also likes the things I like are nearly impossible. I like animated sitcoms, and many conservative Christians (Texas is about half-Baptist, half-Catholic) find them offensive because of the language used on them.

Nah, I couldn't, and I wouldn't expect that demand of a partner, ever. It's dishonest, concerning religion. Lifestyle however, is quite different, in that there are so many, and so many interest me. Saying there are so many people out there better than me, I'd love to give another lifestyle a go if it seems fulfilling. Better than sitting on a stool in my bedroom all day and night, presumably.

I feel that convincing somebody of my views is the only way I can be with an Aspie with the same interests and beliefs--since nearly all of those who already have the same interests and beliefs are not available to me.

It's a bizarre idea really, but then everything about religion is pretty bizarre to me. The idea of changing your religion to suit your partner's means that you change your entire idea about the universe and how everything works, not because some ground-breaking new evidence has been presented to you but because the hottest chick you ever met happens to think that way.

I'm actually surprised by the amount of posts I have seen on here where people say that they follow a certain faith. I think of religion as very much a NT thing. Nothing whatsoever to do with logic or reason but everything to do with bonding with a peer group/family/hot chick you want to get jiggy with. Obviously I was wrong and us aspies, or at least many of us, are somehow still subject to the influence of superstition.

Plus I don't follow all of the rules listed in the Bible, which is another liberal characteristic of my beliefs.

Religion: yes
Lifestyle: depends what she wants me to change, unless she wants me to give up travelling I'd say also yes


I am atheist, so technically I cannot convert as I have no religion. Adopting a religion it would be in my case. Or, as you cannot force yourself to believe in a deity, adopting religious customs.


The last girl I was in love with, was Muslim. I doubt she'd have asked me to convert anyway, but if she would have asked and she would really want to give a relationship a serious try because of mutual feelings... well, bring on the Imam!

She would need to know that it would basically be a lie of mine to say I believe in the deity though, but to adopt habits such as doing the Ramadan and other Islamic customs: yes, I cannot see why not. If she is really a lovely girl, then she's worth it. As long as she knows and is fine with me not believing in a deity, then I am fine in joining some of the customs if it pleases her.



Changing lifestyle... well, probably yes as long as she doesn't ask me to give up my travels and settle for family life instead. That is the one sacrifice I don't feel like making. Oh, and my vegetarianism... But other than that, I cannot think of things identifying my lifestyle that I see as so important that no compromise can be reached.

Changing religion is not really involving changing your ideas about creation of the universe etc. All Abrahamic religions come from the same fundaments on that one. Judaism is the oldest abrahamic religion, then Christianity came when the New Testament was added, and later on Islam grew when the Prophet Muhammad introduced new elements to the same fundaments as Judaism.

Basically all three monotheist religions share the same fundaments and basic believes, although with different accents. So changing from Islam to Christianity or vice versa (to name an example) would only involve change of rituals and customs but not change to the idea that a god created the universe. The monotheist religions have more in common than you'd think.

Going from atheist to religious or vice versa, THAT would be a total turn-around of your basic believes rather than just changing some customs and rituals.

This is why while I do believe in God, I am not a Christian.