Boyfriend panicing

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well, my bf is different from everybody I know, and I really think he's aspie, so Im gonna ask your opinion and advice from now on(wheter it's about him or about me lol)
so here's my question for aspies(though if u're NT can answer and I'll accept ur opinion aswell): for you who have or have had a gf/bf before, did u ever feel moments when u think they'r eleaving u and u get paranoid to the point of crying and panicing??
cos I love him a lot and I have never done anything to make him think so, but sometimes, when we're very tired or something, this has happened to him and I get so sad and feel powerless, I really dont know what to do to make him realize Im not gonna leave him or cheat on him!! !! !

all opinions are welcome

i've felt a lot like that recently. It can be very difficult to read people and know if they like you or not, and I think I want reassurance a lot of the time but don't want to come across as insecure and needy.

When aspies become drained or upset, we often go into complete isolation for a bit. It's just how we are. I'm not sure how close to him you are, but you can always just try laying down together for a bit, and he might actually prefer it that way. I'm an Aspie myself, and it can be hard to convey what I want without being completely blunt.

To be honest, I don't know enough about his 'subtype' to really know how you should handle this. Some Aspies have major sensory issues, and at times just don't want to be touched, by anyone, and need major downtime by themselves. Others, like me, have social issues and can be uncomfortable around others, but with somebody close, can get quite a bit of comfort from human touch, as long as it wasn't completely sudden and out of the blue. IE, I would have to know it's coming, because otherwise I might be a bit unnerved otherwise, and around a lot of people, I might panic if I didn't know who it was.

Insecurity can be a big one. I would just try laying down together, and have one of you hold the other, even if nothing sexual is to occur. It can be very reassuring, having somebody that close.

perhaps it's not even AS related. maybe he is just overjealous. my father was very jealous and it caused a lot of problems in family. up to the point when my parents divorced and i was actually happy they finally did so. i am not jealous at all, i realize that if the other person doesn't want me anymore and prefers someone else, there is nothing i can do about it. it makes me sad, but at the same time i know that the only thing i can do at the moment is to accept it.

did someone read anything on AS & jealousy?

you actually made me feel much better cos I do think he likes and feel more confident and comfy when we cuddle and stuff he always ask me for this, and it's what I do when this happen, I try to make him come to earth and stop thinking things that are just product of fear by whispering and lying together and quietly. argh it's hard thinking of this when ur bf lives in another country.
thank you very much for your reply

hi, thanks for ur reply, but that isnt the only reason why I think he may be an aspie. And I dont think he's jealous neither(cos I dont hang out with many ppl anyways) in any case, I'll try to make him see he doesnt have to worry about this and can trust me if I ever see he may be jealous(but I really doubt it).
Thanks for ur advice anyways

it seems to happen to u the same as to him, cos when he's calmed down again he realizes there's nothing to worry really...but when it happens, I feel horribly bad and sad, and it's me who starts getting worried too lol....it can be comical and all if u analyze it from another view....whatever!

but never ever bend to his imaginary needs. if his worries of you being unfaithful are based on nothing relevant, then, regardless where it comes from, you don't have to comply, because in that case it would be only his problem he has to deal with, while the only thing you can do is to tell him that he has no reason for thinking that and saying it once is more than enough.

a cuddle solves everything, it seems ^.^ x

Is he possibly bipolar?

I had a bf who was bipolar and he would have major crying jags if I even wanted friends apart from him. Once I went to play cards with friends and he was standing outside the window looking in crying. Things like that are why I broke it off - ironically...He created what he feared.

I actually dont think so, cos we live quiet far from each other(a few countries far!!) and if he were bipolar I dont think our relation could work really...but thanks for suggesting and trying to help
I'm starting to think he's just very sensitive(just as me) and cos of his past friendships, who betrayed him, he feels scared. I guess I should just make him see he can trust me and make him feel confident again.
sorry if Im being annoying with this, I just feel worried sometimes...

You are not being annoying at least not to me and I haven't noticed annoyance in other replies. Yes he could just be gunshy a bit due to past rejections. Time may be the only thing that helps him calm a bit, time and consistency.