Single forever?

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Sometimes I feel like I have no emotions inside me to give, and I find it impossible to have a real intimate connection with anyone. Ironically, that's the one thing that is required to have a meaningful and long lasting relationship/marriage. I'm beginning to think that I am destined to be single forever. It's not sad and it doesn't bother me. But it's just an observation. In fact, thinking I'll be alone forever isn't really sad to me at all. I don't see the big fuss about being alone.
Can anyone explain further?

I understand what you mean, the feeling of apathy. Yes, I know what that feeling feels like, to think that you'll be alone forever. Personally I find it a terrible thought. I don't know how old you are, but I'm tell you, I've been single all my life (21 years), and it feels like a long, long time. In the beginning I was lonely and miserable, full of lust and desire. I soon began questioning "Why am I so concerned about love? Love has forgotten me, and I resent how nice guys like me have been screwed over." I became apathetic, just like you, and I'm still in that phase.

I think the reason why autistic people like us are not romantically inclined is because we don't UNDERSTAND what love really is. We can read about it, but it is hard to contemplate it as a tangible thing. Ask a neurotypical what love is, and they'll say "It is commitment, wanting to take a bullet for your significant other, wanting please/cherish them, wanting to help them when they fall and watch over them" and yatta yatta yatta yatta ya. The definition of autism is a neurological disorder that affects social interaction skills/communication skills. Since our brains are scrambled instead of sunny side up like most people, we can't understand or contemplate the emotions we feel, they come and go. Therefore, I think love is a complicated thing to understand for us, and our own lack of emotional understanding causes us to be apathetic.

I envy you... you're not bothered by being alone. I am.

I felt that way for so long. Miserable and alone and desperate. but I am also rather apathetic towards the whole thing. Some people (like me) just aren't made for marriage. Sure, I did give up hope, but I am also being realistic and now I don't even want anyone.

This is pretty much me too, especially lately, and I hate it. I have things I wish I could share with people, but nobody to share them with. I try not to let it bother me but all it takes is one little thing to bring it all back.

The fact that you are not happy with your lack of emotion shows that you want it and that in itself is proof that you have the ability to care.

I have a theory that goes like this: If a person is born into this world believing that he or she has a purpose and follows his/her own desires which naturally leads back to a questioning of where they come from, then we strive to find God. I know this sounds corny but bare with me...

When a person reaches his/her own full potential then their mate will arrive. But, first we need to fully love ourselves. This is much harder for the autistic individual since we have to struggle with fighting the popular opinion that we are inherently bad or flawed. We have to struggle with accepting ourselves which can be extremely difficult. Autistic babies are more difficult, autistic children are very unique and loners, and as teenager they can be despicable in their parents mind. It's a lot to deal with and trust is a vital component in loving relationships.

So, my idea is to fixate on becoming the best we can be and be honest in our development and then, if we never meet that person, at least we will be content with being alone.

One of the main reasons I feel I'm on the spectrum somewhere are the many emotions I seem to be missing, love being the most obvious one. I'm not miserable or lonely though, just resigned to the fact that I'm not going to have a life partner. I've taken a few shots at it, but without the supporting emotions, it doesn't work. I have some friendships that are based on common interests and the exchange of useful information but that's not enough for an intimate connection. So I try to keep busy, be thankful I have good health, and some financial stability, and try not to dwell too much on the things I can't have.

Correction, my good friend Cyberman. I was merely explaining why I think autistic people become apathetic about love/romance. Being single 21 year is nothing short of psychological torture and loneliness at times, especially if you're shy and have little faith in love but long to feel like you want to love another person. You lust and desire, but you know that if you tried to get a girl, you would fail.

I haven't stayed single 21 years for a lack of trying. I asked out about 13-14 girls in elementary/middle/high school, and they all turned me down, even the ones who knew me and cared about me to some degree. Late in high school and in college, which I'm currently in, I just gave up, stopped trying to initiate romantic relationships. Although I'm wiser now and I know the best method of getting a girl, I don't utilize it. You can say I have this unsaid vendetta against my female peers (unsaid until now. It is a rash generalization, but this is how I feel)- "Why should I care about any of you when none of you didn't give a s**t about me?" It is a unfair generalization, but I am still embittered about being spurned so many times for unreasonable reasons.

This being said, even I, as malcontented and distrusting in "love" as I've ever been, need love/romance in one form or another eventually. Apathy is a quick fix, it can not last forever. I'm not incapable of love, I am capable, but I have little faith in my female peers, and I take the matter of love seriously. Every Adam needs an Eve, otherwise life can be very lonely.

You are only 21 years old. Pretty soon, females will realize that we need a role reversal if we are to select the cream of the crop(no pun intended). You think more than the average guy so let it go and don't worry. Maybe your idea of love is different from what popular culture portrays. Work toward getting your ideal girl, but in the meantime, focus on yourself and loving who you are. It is the biggest hurdle for man/woman to get over our societal ills.
Who knows, you might find her on the internet, or you might find her in the coffee shop. Meanwhile get out and experience the realm of human emotion. You are human.
I think that loving an animal is a bridge to this. Seriously, when you see an animal that has been abandoned and you reach out to it, the love is an undeniable yet untranslatable emotion that is so personal. That is a pinch of unconditional love.
Dude, and I call you dude because I want to make sure that you know you are not gay, remember who you are and love yourself.
Who were you when you were 7 years old? That is your ideal self. I'm only going on like a guru because I have suffered in the same respect.

Not to mention that I have a feeling that once our condition is more known to society, we will be more accepted in such areas. Remember back to when some as*holes thought that having gay sex was the only way that AIDS was transmitted? Unfortunately, the way popular culture is going, it's not going to happen in our lifetime...

I love this thread, I hope it goes on long like a tennis game because it's such a sadly reality. We can't be happy in a cyber reality, we are not robots. Have you seen this movie?[youtube]http://[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr-4jEefinc[/youtube]

Yes, you're right, sooner or later they will realize there is no creme de le creme, as you stated. Yet I have a feeling it will certainly be later than sooner, I think that once people settle down into a career/profession and really work in this world, their viewpoints and ideas will be more realistic. You can't honestly expect college girls to take the matter of love seriously after all, it is still a phase of romantic experimentation

My definition of "love" is the scientific version, utilizing the psychological concepts of Abraham Maslow's Hierachy of Needs and Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love. Perfect Love/Consummate Love = Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment.
In order for someone to achieve self esteem needs, they need to achieve love/belonging needs (sexual intimacy, friendships, family). It is all theoretical and has yet to be applied in the practical, that's what you get when you emotionally can't grasp the concept of "love", you seek logical information to fill in the emotional.

My ideal girl is something of a rarity, lol. Beauty is enticing, of course to any male, but what I seek along with beauty is intelligence and a desire to converse over subjects of intellectual interests- psychology, history, english literature, etc. Such a woman I'm more than certain is a rarity, perhaps even fictitious.
It seems that beauty and intelligence are inverses of each other Show me a girl who likes to talk about history, psychology, literature, philosphy, etc, and I'll show you a pig that flies

I like your allusion to an abandoned animal, it makes sense. There is a sense and longing of wanting to help and take care of it, even to take pity on it.

Dude is fine, or Autistic Malcontent, etc. I did not feel like you were questioning my sexual orientation , although my speech seems more sophisticated than your average guy (that being online, not one on one, I'm less verbose). As for what I was like at 7, the best terms to describe me would be naive and innocent. Innocence and naivete' do not serve anyone well now, I'm a nonconformist simply because I don't think and act according to what's popular.

But now I must ask you a question. Your advice was good and you were helpful in addressing my response, however I'm curious. What makes you women/girls so optimistic and cheerful about love? Is it that you have this deeply instilled romantic vision that you long to come true? Or is it that you have to fill the void you feel inside and that you'll do anything to achieve it, even go through bad relationships? I marvel at how girls can go through so many sour relationships or merely failed relationships, and still continue to put on a hopeful face. True, there are those who lose faith and become discontented, but even these still go on, either by choice or obligation to themselves. However some of us guys so easily throw in the towel and give up what we consider useless pursuits. So what is the motive that you drives you to keep going despite these setbacks?

Actually, AutisticMalcontent, I was replying to stevechoi... you just posted too fast.

(And WTF is up with the server? I can only make one-line posts... )

Women can endure suffering in the same way that a mother wolf lives to see her cub thrive by letting it go. It hurts, it's hard, and often I wish I was dead, but my love for the greater good keeps me going.

I think that you are a great person going through a hard time and tomorrow it will be over. Stick to your ideals and I believe you will find that girl. Waiting is a virtue that only saints can teach you about.