"Alien" Reference??

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I hope that I can present this question in a way not to offend anyone here on the board!

I am merely trying to learn as much as I possibly can about AS and as it to relates to my relationship with my BF of two years.

I just recently came across "AS" with regards to actually reading the symptoms and connecting them to my BF. I've realized since the get go of our relationship that something was going on. I just didn't know what. But I feel so GRATEFUL that I recently stumbled across AS online and learned more about it and just about 99% hits home with my BF.

After several weeks of reading, here online and at the bookstores, I finally festered up the courage to confront him about it. And to my surprise, he was VERY open, responsive and for the most part, positive about what I had to say.

This is how are start of the conversation went of me approaching him about it and please forgive me if its lengthy but Im just trying to paint the picture.....

He and I were relaxing on the couch. And out of the blue, his right leg just like jumped and twitched. I of course, after reading all this about AS, was clued into that as that being one of the symptoms...the nervous type tic movements. And then all of a sudden, it dawned on me that he has done that since Ive met him two years ago. Especially if he is tired and just laying back in bed or whatever. Ive just always not really paid any mind to it. So I somewhat jokingly said to him in a loving laughing manner, "Whats the matter, do you have Parkinsons?"

Him: I don't know what I have but Ive always told you I have something.

Me: I think I might know what you "might have". I then reached down under my couch and pulled out the recent book I was reading on AS and some of my notes. I asked him if he would be open to me talking to him about it. He said yes.

Just as I started to open the book a bit and pull some of my papers out, he blurts out....

"I told you. I'm an alien. I've always thought I was an alien from a different planet."

Anyway, my question is this.....

I've seen several references from people here and on other sites about when you have AS of "feeling like an alien". I myself have ADD, so Im very aware of whats its like to grow up feeling "different" from most of society. But I never felt specifically like I was "an alien".

Is that a common feeling in people that have AS??

Again, hope not to offend anyone, just trying to do my best to love my man the best way I can! And keep my own sanity!

No offense taken here.

The alien-ness I feel is more along the lines of standing outside a transparent enclosure, looking in on the rest of the world. It's a feeling of detachment, exclusion, or of not actually being there ... something like being a ghost or a spectator of my own life.

As above, no offence taken.

I've always felt alien. In fact, when I was little, I often muttered phrases like;

"That's the trouble with humans"

or

"Gee, I'm glad I'm not human"

I think people thought I was quoting movies or something - but I was referring to myself.

I still feel like I'm an alien in human skin but I'm fairly certain a DNA test would prove otherwise.

I've always felt like I was an actress playing a role in a movie. Like what I was saying was dialog written by someone else - self-conscious and aware of the interaction itself, not feeling connected to the other person in any real way.

Also just generally aware that I'm different somehow, and that I'm observing others as if I were from another planet, in the sense that I don't understand them, and don't feel familiar with their social practices.

I remember in high school also feeling like people treated me like an alien - people would urge me to smile, for example, and my response would be, "Why?" It was as if they sensed that I was not aware of how to fit in and were trying to help me "get it."

LOL Gavin, I said the same sort of thing. I think most often it was "Silly humans!"

Yes, the feeling of being slightly autistic is "alien". The reason why many autistic people feel "alien" is because they can understand human speech, but the emotional and meaningful connotations of those words are beyond them.

Here is an example, an analogy to how we autistic people feel. Have you ever been a history class or a math class before, and the teacher starts talking? He/She might list off facts like "The Pythagorian Theorem is a^2 + b^2 = c^2" or "in 1945, World War II began". At the time, you hear the facts, there is no emotional connotation to hearing the information. That's how we autistic feel, everything we hear is information, information without an emotional connotation to it.
We can emotionally guess what is going on, but it is very difficult to do, and we might feel the wrong emotion to an interaction. It is like our minds process information without understanding the emotional message attached to it.

Because of this, we feel "alienated" from our NT peers. We see you neurotypicals, full of emotion and vigor, and it bewilders us and confuses us. It might even anger us, because we want to feel like you do, but it isn't in our chemical makeup. Because we can't understand, we tend to shy away and you guys might interpret us being "anti-social" even at times "aggressive" or "overly shy". It is a strange world, and although we are almost fully neurotypical, we still feel alien and unsure in our enviroment.

From what I have observed and experienced, it is a relatively common sensation... that of displacement or being out-of-place. Be direct, be patient, if you are going to bring it up with him.


M.

Regarding the above posting....you mentioned to "be as objective as possible" when talking to my BF.

What exactly do you mean by that?

I have found that if I have something to discuss with him that involves anything of importance or seriousness, I tend to start out with saying....

"Hey, I need to talk to you about something." And then he immediately takes a deep breath, rolls his eyes lets out an exasperated sigh and responds to me like "Oh god, what bomb are you gonna drop on me".

I guess I just tend to start out like that (and its not very often that I try to discuss anything too heavy duty with him as I know its usually not worth the effort!) but I guess I get so frustrated when I do try and talk to him and he totally interrupts me 3 words in to my sentence and starts talking about a time when he yadda yadda yadda....I guess I thought my starting out my conversation with a "hey, I need your attention for a minute to discuss something" that I might get a different response. Or at least his attention. It would be sooo nice for once to hear him say, "Oh ok, baby, here let me set aside what Ive got going on for a minute cuz its apparent you have something important to talk to me about." Heck, he wouldnt even have to say it! JUST DO IT!

I don't feel like an alien anymore really. In fact most people think I'm pretty normal and are very surprized to learn that I have asperger's.

Heh, for me I just don't feel like I'm real, sometimes nobody else seems real, it all depends on who I'm paying attention to.

I can still be pretty affectionate though, but not a lot of people are willing to find that one out.