i messed up big time

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so yesterday, a girl comes up to me, says "Are you john?"
"Yes"
"I was wondering if you would come outside and smoke with me?"
I said "NO thanks"
She persisted
in my stupidity i did not realize what was going on, or am i going crazy, was she hitting on me because as she walked away she looked dejected.

BTW she was good looking, not a hottie, but sexy in a normal way.

Please tell me what i did wrong and how to fix this i will see her again, and i want to be ready this time

Depends if you smoke... You could always put it down to stress

I would have rejected merely for the fact that I don't smoke...

ok but i do smoke so what then

Whatcha smoking?

Sounds like she may have trying to get you alone and talk more but my crystal ball is not handy at the moment. Anyway, there is no law or rule that states that you have to smoke with her. You could of said,"Sure I'll go with you to smoke and keep you company but I am not a smoker." Smokers are people too and in my opinion, to limit yourself based on social peer pressure about smoking is the pot calling the kettle black.


I have no tolerance for zero tolerance!

Ask her for a cigarette and apologise that you couldn't the other day because of work problems, (whatever) Remember to say "I hope I didn't offend or upset you" or something like that

yes you messed big time! doh!

you can just be there and don't smoke, just be there.

do as Keith.

Kind of, but nothing too bad for now. I've found that when NTs ask if you wanna join them in an activity, it's not about the activity itself, but they're really asking "do you want to spend time with me?". You said no, and that's why she looked dejected when she left.

Don't worry though, it's ok to say no. Everyone does sometimes for any number of reasons. However, the general rule when you do is that you initiate the interaction next time.

Ask her to do something with you. Don't be overly apolegitic for last time & put your foot in your mouth. Just do it naturally. Even if she says no too, at least you've recipricated interest.

Just be nice to her and act like it didn't happen at all she'll look upset and confused because she will be but just be nice and she should forgive you. Just understand you probably upset her fairly well and she won't wanna try that again so now you have to and I recommend just being nice and talking to her a few times maybe showing up outside while she's smoking and talking to her about something anything really just something you think she'd know something about like well maybe she likes dogs and you've seen her with them or having pictures of them then ask about her dogs. Really just let her know that you don't dislike her and that what happened was just a fluke b/c it was a bad day.

Go and ask her to go for a smoke next time.

If you really care then apologise to her the next time you meet, explain that you're trying to kick the habit, and offer to go for a coffee or something.

thanks for the advice so far, as of yet i have not seen her again, so please keep posting!! !