Help: How to not be boring on dating sites

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I recently joined OKCupid, and I really like it so far. There are quite a few cool sounding girls in my area who I think I could potentially talk to.

But I've talked to some already, and I realized just how bad I am at conversation - even on AIM. I just ask obvious questions, eventually it dead ends, awkward silence, then someone has to go. Or I send a message and never get a response. Or I will get a response, we will exchange, and then nothing happens.

It feels like my approach is entirely one dimensional, but I have no idea how to make myself or my conversational skills more interesting. I also think my profile probably sucks. Does anybody have advice on how to market myself better on these sites?

Well if you want to start a conversation, it's a good idea to ask interesting questions about their interests. I'm on a dating site, and those are the ones I am most interested in. (Just an example.. other people will be different), but it's worth a try

This is a particularly trivial task. The solution is to dress yourself in outlandishly exotic clothing and converse about the most obscure of subjects.

There are some great books of questions at your local bookstore (I know B&N has them) that can help - some are geared more conversationally, others more romantically. Ask questions of their responses; in general, people appreciate someone taking an interest in them. Lastly, accept that you will not get a response from some 70% of your attempts. I had someone write me recently who had actually initiated a conversation some 6-8 months prior then didn't respond when I wrote back... as I am happily involved, the timing was poor. Good luck, and let me know how it's going!


M.

A sexy picture of yours.
Remember that guys are usually four to five times more than girls on dating sites , a good written profile won't hurt for sure but don't be naive too because a well-written profile won't make much difference if you don't have sexy photos.

Girls get about at least 10 pms per day on dating sites so they don't have time to read each sender's profile , at first step they would quickly glance on the pic of each profile and if the pics attracts them enough then , and only then, would scroll down to read the rest of the profile.It's a human thing.

If you are not sexy well ...you're toasted on dating sites , you would have a better chance in real life dating.

I would say that its best to just be your natural self and if thats a bit boring, so be it. You will not be able to keep up a un-natural persona for ever and its better to find a mate who will put up with you as you are, rather than one you have to perform for (how exhausting!)

good luck

(you can not possibly be more boring than me, I put on my ok cupid profile, in the what do you do friday night section- " I listen to Johnathen Dimbleby's any questions on radio 4"- you cant get more boring than that, surely!

Wait I am totally sure that you receive a lot of pms ..maybe daily while the OP probably rarely receive any , tell me that I am mistaken.

Actually, I read that 26% of correspondences on dating sites are initiated by females.

Since that means that 74% of them are started by guys, it means that we all (guys) need to start making the first move.

I recieve a message every couple of days from people Ive initiated with. But Ive only had scarey messages ("how do you like you breakfast") from people that Ive not made the first move with. I think those guys are probably chancers who are mailing everyone.

Ive initiated pming lots of people over the last year but they all come to nothing and I feel I have to do all the work, guys wont pm me a reminder if I forget to answer their message, they just take it as a brush off. And I probably am too boring....

I find people message a couple of times (on okcupid) and if you wont meet up they blank you.

I think its best to put most stuff down to experience.

The person for me will like me and want to write to me and wont get put off by my funny ways, and if not then they are obviously not for me.

I strongly believe in just being honest, even if it sounds boring. Because you use those sites to look for a partner, right? What is the point in finding a partner who is attracted on a role you are playing rather than being attracted to the real YOU? Better to have 1 PM per fortnight who is genuinely interested in who you really are, that is better than daily PMs of people attracting to fake info in your profile.