ok so I got this girl's #

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I went up to her at her job. She told me where she worked earlier and I asked if it was cool if I stopped by.

OK so I was talking to her a little bit and she seemed really receptive and interested and really supprised/flattered(I think) that I showed up to see her. She told me way more than I needed to know not knowing her THat well at all during our conversation at the store she worked at. She is just a really social girl I think. Likes to talk alot. But still though I thought it went pretty well so and I was there talking to her for a while, I realize she did most of the talking telling me about "her" vacation this and that and THATS fine. So as I left I asked for her # and she gave it to me.

So I end up calling her like a week later ( I sent her a text like 3 days after I saw her), and I leave a message, and....

SHE DOESNT RESPOND....to anything...........not my text or my voice message

waht gives?? what is she trying to tell me? I think I might call again.....but im very weary to doing so

im just confused.......I really was going to MAN up and ask her out to dinner/movie (something iv never done) if i could just get through to her. I really felt like the solid foundations of sparking interest were there.

LOL not really Im very confused and frustrated. Just when i think things are finally starting to go my way............all of the sudden I get nowhere again.........just great just F******* great

I know rejection is rejection and it aint a supposed to big a big deal. And this girl In lifes's big swing of things.....SHE AINT a big deal if I never talk to her again. What really frustrates me into Oblivion is all my 21 years of "zero experience" compounded and then i get misled when I think I might finally get something goin

I don't know. How long has it been since you left the message? Certainly don't leave a 100 more messages on her answer machine. She may be on holiday or met someone else. Could be anything. Sometime they change their mind. A number doesn't always mean romantic intent.

I was hoping getting dedesensitied from this sort of thing would help. Problem is blunting is not much use for romanitc encounters. So bleeding heart is is.

Sorry 'man up' just cracks me up, as it has the opposite connatations from what is intended.

Ah... That type of girl. I know that type. For some reason, they always want to be friends with me... But, friends is all.

My guess here is that was her intent, and - given your inexperience - you may well have misread it, at least judging from your post. From telling you much about herself, that's one of the larger giveaways. That type of girl is often misleading; I've a friend who has been chasing after another friend - that type - for a year, and still doesn't get it.

1. Does she know your number?
2. Did you identify yourself in the text?
3. How long since you left the message?
4. Do you know that she gets her voicemail? Some people don't. I never get my voicemail because I have to pay to pick it up.
5. Have you called her at the same time each day?

There is also the potential other option that everyone else bypassed.

Namely...you TEXTED...FIRST...after THREE DAYS.

Generally, even calling after three days is off-putting to some. For some, calling too soon is uncomfortable...for others it is the opposite.

Than you called four days after that(I am correct? or was it a whole week after? I'm assuming you meant a week from the initial number reception.).

That is a long time. Unless you expected her not to care...at all, calling after one whole week is almost guaranteed to piss her off, even for those who get uncomfortable on getting called to soon.

Your desire or idea of waiting, might be the issue.

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This may not be the case though...I just thought that I might throw that out there. It could be very possible this was the case, as are other cases mentioned.

it was definitly her number first of all

second she asked me to text her my # so i figured id start out out with a simple text...I always had the intention of calling her several days later.

Lets Recap. I waited 3 days then texted her. Didnt get any kind of reply event hough I said it was me.

then like 5 days later I called her. Had she responded to the initial text I would have responded like 2 days later.

When I ended up calling however I did leave a message saying it was me and that I did call/text her earlier and I mentioned she probably didnt get it.

Was waiting the 3 days to text the problem? or calling 5 days after that? was taht too long??

Should I call one more time??? maybe she didnt get any of them??

again SHE is not a big deal. Whats frustrating though is the lack of communication compounded by my inexperience. ALL she has to do if she isnt interested is just say she is busy or shes seeing someone thats it......but to ignore me is just cold

if getting a girl is this structured where any single linear mistake of waiting 1 day too long or 1 day not enough actually MAKES the whole difference, THEN IM NEVER GETTING A GIRL...(and I dont mean that in any bitter way)

I don't know, I'm not sure how good it'd be for your dignity to text her again. I'd say just walk away. You've got a lot further than a lot of guys get. I doubt she's being malicious, probably just absent minded or she's run out of credit. Look out for other girls, and if you're lucky maybe she'll just text back randomly later. Otherwise, move on!

If I were you, I'd just ditch her and ignore her. A girl who tugs at a guy's emotions or a girl who plays hard to get isn't worth the effort. Forget about this gal and move on, if she didn't even take the courtesy of saying hello after you gave her your number, she is just plain rude. Maybe if you ignore her, she might come back because you're not after her.

I once liked a girl a lot and she was one of my best friends and I tried EVERYTIME I could to let her know that I liked her and that I was interested in dating. She saw me as a just a friend and brushed me off. In the end, I didn't even bother trying to go after her, she was a waste of my time and energy. That's my story, and it is similar to yours, except the girl showed interesting and basically rejected you in an obvious way. If you liked a girl and she has rejected you, leave her and ignore her, because hanging on or trying relentlessly to get a girl who doesn't like you is not worth it. I question whether women are really worth pursuing anyways, but that's my opinion.

first off I appreciate all of the advice. But this was just an ordinary kind of thing I suspect.

I met her before and she told me where she worked.

She was attractive and outgoing so I stopped by. She seemed flattered that I came by and seemed interested (or so I thought).

I asked for her number. She gave it.

I call later leave message and text and she doesnt respond AT ALL.

end of story. I really dont know her that well and im not attached at all. But Im just really frustrated with how relativly "Neurotypical?" this process went and then THIN SILENCE IN THE AIR WAS HOW IT ENDED.

no emotions or baggage being swept around.

fairly simple outline. Just IT IS a big deal cuz she seemed like such a cool girl I defintitly would have liked to get something going there. Take her out. really make some bold steps in my dating life.

lightening020 the only piece of advice I can give you to is try not to mull over this too long, or allow it to taint further encounters. Life is too short.

Hopkins has it right, you did well to get as far as you did. Yes the result is disappointing - but it's way more disappointing when you shy away from an opportunity and never even talk to a girl you're interested in, as I have done innumerable times.
I share your frustration with the fact that it seems like normal people hook up fairly easily, but for an aspie there are all these extra stages in between trial and success, and at every one of these extra stages there's a chance of failure. The call/don't-call/text/don't-text/too-soon/too-late dance is always good for some aggravation.
I'm still a 38-year-old virgin so my advice is probably worthless, but my read on the situation you described would have been: text her your # (as she requested) within 24 hours, wait 2 days, and call her.