Women: Fickle or Do I Just Need More Predictability?

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NeantHumain
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27 Nov 2008, 12:55 am

When trying to plan things with other people, I like to make concrete plans (place, time, activity) with a known procedure for making changes; I also like to have at least a few days' to a week's notice. The reason I try to get people to commit to some concrete plan with even concrete back-up plans and an established back-out procedure is that people are notoriously bad at following through with me. If, for example, the plan is to "just hang out this weekend," that does not give the other person something concrete to stick to, and the tendency to back out without notice of any kind is even higher. If they can't make it, I'd like to know well ahead of time instead of being about to leave only to get a call and having my plans cancelled. If I desire some kind of social contact, this might have been my only significant social contact of the weekend.

I have noticed that women are especially bad at following through. Am I just unusually unspontaneous? Are women more fickle than men generally? Do people just feel less of a need to follow through on promises with me (it is to the extent that I do not count on other people to do anything they say and just assume, if I really want something done, it's best to do it myself)? Does this have a connection with social standing that I have been reading about (i.e., if you have low standing, it is considered more socially acceptable to renege on promises)? Is it best to manipulate the perception of busyness to increase apparent social standing/desirability? In other words, should I try to give the woman the impression that I am almost too busy to have a spare moment to see her but am willing to take a slight break for now to see her? Would this make women less likely to back out at the last minute?

I am really looking at practical strategies for increasing my effectiveness in meeting women, and at this point, I couldn't care less about whether it's disingenuous to make myself seem busier than I actually am or any other such variable. I simply want to skew all variables that play a role in attracting women as highly in my favor as possible.



MiniMozartAspie
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27 Nov 2008, 12:57 am

tl;dr



makuranososhi
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27 Nov 2008, 1:45 am

Unfortunately, I've not found that many people function in that manner, NH. There are a lot of disappointments when people forget, or flake, or are fraudulent in their behaviors. But places such exceptional demands on others is not likely to make them comfortable or willing to follow through. It's a high level of demand that you're putting out there, comparatively. Even someone who is busy makes time for someone that matters to them - not all the time, perhaps not even most, but they will when needed or when they can. Being more freeform may work to your advantage.


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27 Nov 2008, 3:10 am

This is a valid question, and hard to answer. I can understand wanting firm plans, but this can also be perceived as confining, and therefore disadvantageous.

Unsure, maybe you can plan a fun event, like attending a public event or place (like a park setting that you like), where you could mutually meet and spend time together doing something fun but without the 'committment' of a formal date setting. Perhaps this would lessen the pressure associated with dating. Sorry if one has 'backed-out' at he last moment; that hurts.


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Haliphron
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27 Nov 2008, 2:52 pm

Women are incredibly capricious, especially when they're young(teens and 20s) :x . I have the same problem and if I were you I'd keep searching for people who arent flakey.



Letum
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27 Nov 2008, 3:12 pm

Haliphron wrote:
Women are incredibly capricious, especially when they're young(teens and 20s) :x . I have the same problem and if I were you I'd keep searching for people who arent flakey.


Regardless of your personal experience, I do not think it is fair to generalize about 50% of the world's population like that.



Haliphron
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28 Nov 2008, 3:48 pm

Letum wrote:
Haliphron wrote:
Women are incredibly capricious, especially when they're young(teens and 20s) :x . I have the same problem and if I were you I'd keep searching for people who arent flakey.


Regardless of your personal experience, I do not think it is fair to generalize about 50% of the world's population like that.


Not even if its TRUE? :lol:



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28 Nov 2008, 5:08 pm

Haliphron wrote:
Letum wrote:
Haliphron wrote:
Women are incredibly capricious, especially when they're young(teens and 20s) :x . I have the same problem and if I were you I'd keep searching for people who arent flakey.


Regardless of your personal experience, I do not think it is fair to generalize about 50% of the world's population like that.


Not even if its TRUE? :lol:


It cant possibly be true or false because it is subjective.
Furthermore, the variety of human personalities are as varied and many as there are humans.
There are over 3.3billion individual and unique women in the world.

Perhaps, if you are an avid socialite, you will have got to know 0.00001% of them well.
To use that tiny amount of knowledge to generalize about the other 3,299,999,640+ women in a way that negatively informs your behavior and/or attitude towards other people is unreasonable, unfair and bigoted.