The language of dating

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Its my understanding that Hawaiin girls wear one of those purple flowers behind their earlobe to let others know that they are available(Single). Why doesnt western culture, particularly american culture, have something equally obvious for young single women to do in order to signal their availability? Why all this indirectness? Are women actually Taught about flirting when they're growing up? Or do they just do it instinctively....

a wedding ring perhaps?

women have men come on to them from when they are children so they have much more practice then men. They also spend all their time talking about relationships and reading books and magazines about relationships.

most NT men play a complicated dance of interacting too, and all seem happy with indirectness.

I think frankness and honesty and openess are things that aspies value but NTs of both genders do not.

My AS wife at the time was rarely direct and was especially evasive on how she felt. I am very NT (ENFP) and am well known as being very open and direct. People are too unique to generalize an entire group. NT & AS is just one tiny part of a much larger personality spectrum in the human race.

Agree. Good idea! I remember once that a girl asked me if I found her attractive, which I did (hadnt thought so much about it before, though). Unfortunately I was to much of a nerd to ask her directly the same question Why cant all girls be that direct? Maybe I should start asking the girls the same question? Hmm, I guess I would be to afraid of getting a negative answer. After all, I am probably too afraid of "loosing face".

Last edited by norwegianman1972 on 10 Oct 2008, 1:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Western culture does have such a thing! It's called being drunk, young and stupid.
Sadly the common behaviour in every cities young single population.

Actually, come to think of it, isnt often showing much naked skin a signal of availability? I am here thinking about when going out on friday night and so on.

Mmmm, by the way, no you made me start dreaming about Hawaiian girls...

No, women will show that much skin regardless of taken status. That's more a matter of personal taste in clothing fashions...

I have heard that women tend to show more skins when they are in the most fertile time of their periods and that this is something that happens unconsciousnessly.

It's my understanding that that is either an old tradition or a myth. I've been all over Hawaii and never seen a Hawaiian girl with a flower in their hair in the manner of that "signal" but the tourists having been told about it were the ones who did it.

Regardless of myth status, something like that (in terms of an obvious symbol of singleness) should be practiced IMO... it would make my life a whole lot easier. Unfortunately, ambiguity rules in most western societies, so I'm stuck here guessing... one of the reasons I don't like to date women until I know them...

Is it different elsewhere?

yes it was a generalization, I did not want to speak about every person I had ever met individually, I wanted to make a generalisation. I have met NTs who are honest and open and aspies who are liers and manipulative but in general it is the reverse. It is ok to make generalizations, there is no law against it and indeed statistics, science and psychology relies on it.

Yes, in fact, social science would be IMPOSSIBLE without generalizations. I must always smile when I hear someone trying to disprove a generalization by coming with ONE (or a few) counterexamples.

Well wedding rings are a clear indicator that a woman is Not available but there is NOTHING obvious that american women do most of the time to let guys know that they are available; and thats quite frustrating because I Never pick up on someone elses interest/availability unless Ive already met them.

yeah, i was thinking about making little wrist bands....a red one would symbolise "i'm taken! don't hit on me" (and of course a single person who didn't want the attention could wear one too) and a green one would be "i'm single! f**k me silly!"

lols its the simple ideas that make the money x