Maybe this will help.

Post Reply New Topic

I have been looking at the topics posted here, and since I have had my personal experiences here, I decide to share.

But as a disclaimer I may have to add, that maybe because of my ADD, I do not have fixed interests, I have interests of the moment, though most of my interests are recurring.

Help I'm a virgin.

There are two approaches to this problem. The first is the I want to have sex. The second is I want to have a relationship and then have sex. Now, there is one thing that you should remember at all times. Don't think about your goal. Don't go running simulations. Turn that big brain of yours into every direction but the one that is your goal. Then there is this point. Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself, almost everybody embarrass themselves around people of the opposite sex.

The second part is maybe a bit more difficult, but I have managed to pull that off. Develop multiple interests that are interesting to normal people as well. That's a great way to make small-talk the AS way. (Actually my diagnosis is very fresh, and I have lived with camouflage systems for 30 years that are only now starting to make sense to me) But develop interests that normal people enjoy as well. Literature, Music, Sports, Art. From personal experience I have discovered that having these interests do help a lot in relationships. I am a compulsive reader however, so maybe that's the reason why it works for me. Classical Music, Opera and Musicals are great ways to entertain people. Art is also very interesting in social interaction. Now, the one disadvantage that these interest give a healthy warm-blooded male is people might consider you gay. In my case that's not so much of a problem because men and women are equally attractive to me.

I do have to say, that this approach does not work in the long run, it helps you get sex, and leave some good friends. At least that's what it did for me. But for the past six months I have been dating one and the same woman.

A little about her: I was already acquainted with her when I was very interested in building a relationship with another woman, but, a lot of little things that first one were annoying the hell out of me, and after a huge fight I kicked her out and shut down the gates. However, that's not as easy as it may sound, at least for me it wasn't. Opening myself to those emotions (which still don't make sense, but I let them happen) also let a tidal wave of repressed stuff flow freely, and I was really confused and down at that moment. But so, my current girlfriend started to talk to me, and I just told her everything, I kept on rambling and rambling for hours. And over time we grew closer to friends, and then at one point I realized I loved her. A feeling that is so extremely rare for me, but I do know it, that I never wanted to have it go away. And so, she became my girlfriend, knowing full well all my personality quirks and when I'm around her, talking to her, I don't suffer from my depression that much.

As an added disclaimer, for the past six months I have been struggling continuously against a depression, mostly caused by my interaction with normals (I have "studied" at a University for nine years, not that I finished every course, but at least the people there were weird enough to relate to, and I have been working for nearly 3 years now), the fact that even with those lovely things in my life, it's really a bad fight that I am losing. I have asked for "chemical" help, but I'm still waiting for my prescription to enter the mix.

So please, just read what I've written and draw your own conclusions whether this is the answer to that problem.