Do Women/People of the Sex You're Attracted to Humor You?

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I try to talk to a lot of women. I assume that, if I talk to enough women, eventually I'll make friends with a few of them or maybe even have a girlfriend. At least about half the time, they don't seem annoyed, bored, or disgusted when talking to me; in fact, they're usually smiling or laughing occasionally; so I wonder why I haven't developed any closer friendships with any of them yet. Sometimes they seem to take pity on me, which I don't particularly like because the implication is that I'm pathetic; they just agree with whatever I say and say aw or laugh when I say tell a joke, most of which probably aren't even really that funny.

I don't know if this way of approaching social interaction is getting me anywhere really. The problem is I have very limited life experience, so it's hard to find interesting subjects the other person and I can both relate to. Inevitably, I resort to common but not particularly interesting or intimating topics like current events, the weather, classes, and the quality of the food at the university's cafeterias.

All this and the fact that none of these women I've talked to go out of their way to come to me means they're probably just humoring me when I talk to them. Also, it probably doesn't help that I often have trouble knowing when a woman is displaying signs of attraction or signs of annoyance or lost interest.

Females act the same way when talking to me, and I believe it to be sincere.



It might not be pity, it could just be politeness. It could also be that they go along because they don't want to offend you, because they like you.



What works best for me is to steer the conversation so I can talk deeply and intimately about my life, my experiences, and my personal self identity. This seems to make others more comfortable around me. (Why it works, I don't know.) OTOH, I've never gotten a date.



A few have tried to start up converstations with me and such, but reflecting back I believe it was (at least partly) due to my body language - I'd accidently express signs of interest to her. Communication of romantic interest seems to depend strongly on body language. *sigh*



The hardest part is letting go. This I've never been able to figure out either.

That's not good... if they are laughing at you, then it usually means they aren't scared of you. Unless it's nervous laughter, in which case you're hopefully on the right track.

Remember- unnerving people is one of the first steps towards a healthy and successful relationship.

Maybe they're simply comfortable with you as a person, but don't feel any attraction. Try to see these experiences in a different light. Instead of setting a goal of scoring a date (or more) with a girl, set a goal of making the girl feel good in your presence. And if a girl enjoys a guy's company, she's far more likely to accept a date from him.

You can always ask questions about themselves too, but then YOU have to pretend your interested. Which in a way you are.

That's almost the most awesome thing I've heard anyone say about relationships in the past twenty-four hours. It would be #1 and for a longer period of time but I'm spending time with my slightly insane, slightly Aspish and very insecure mother, so she's coming out with all sorts of great s**t.

That's a rather insightful and honest comment Serissa. Thanks.

In my experience, comfort isn't conducive to excitement.
I always try and keep some distance with girls as I think it makes me a little more mysterious and I do eccentric things quite often so i'm naturally scary lol.

Mind you, I only ever got into a relationship by accident on the internet and she cheated on me when we'd only got together once (kissing and cuddling).

She seemed into me on the day so I'm pretty sure it's not anything I did.

She did say "I love you", "you're so handsome", "your hands are lovely" etc.

I am socially awkward though, so I don't know how long it would last with an NT.