So what's the best way to meet someone?

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I'm a very solitary person and I avoid social situations, because they make me feel anxious and drained (all that acting). That said, I can turn on the charm, it's just a big effort.

It seems most people are introduced through friends or whatever- not an option for me. I met my last gf at work, but right now I'm a student and there's no-one really within my circle of acquaintances that I feel interested in.

So what's the best method?

This is just about meeting women I can share some part of my life with- all being well we can move on to why said women would want to stay in a relationship with an unpredictbale, neurodiverse manic depressive later

i have teh same problem. and once you find out the answer, share it with me

step one, relax. If you come on as nervous and agitated, that will run off a lot of women, and may attract the wrong kind (drama queens? you never know...

step two - what are you looking for? what do you want in a woman (no cracks, please... Don't be overly specific, or you'll be totally lonely

step three - where would you likely meet them? Willy Sutton was asked why he robbed banks, and he replied 'because that's where the money is'...think about where to meet them.

step four - often, you'll find that they don't come alone. Find a friend to go with you, and either of you can rely on support from the other when you meet two or more women.

step five - is up to you. I've been told that women prefer confidence, humor, fun to be with, sensitive, etc. They rarely get the whole package. Think about what your strengths are, and play to them.

hope this helps.

That is quite helpful. I am confident though! Confidently different... in fact, all my relationships have started because girls have approached ME. I know I'm attractive and interesting. I'm beginning to realise that most women expect the guy to take the initiative- problem. Sure they'll send out signals, I'm told, but I'm so DENSE when it comes to that stuff. Right over my head.

if you see a woman you find particularly attractive, its best to walk over and talk to her wherever that happens to be.

and don't really place any importance on what she says back to you because if she is rude or something, you wouldn't want to hang with her anyway.

what I need is some actual hard data on this question, and then a rigorous methodological analysis of the data with both sophisticated and simplified conclusions about practical applications.

Internet. I turned to the internet option after realizing that all the guys I was meeting at school were immature losers who I could barely last a month or two with, all the guys my friend wanted to set me up with were drunks or used drugs, and all the guys who went to night clubs and such were... not the kind of people I even wanted to try to get to know. I met my boyfriend on okcupid, we've been together almost 8 months now, and I've never been happier.

Put yourself in social situations where you'll meet new people. If you're a student, find a student group that does something you like to be a part of. If you want to meet new people socially, you need to be in that kind of environment.

I don't know... I don't trust the Internet to deliver me anything. I don't even trust ebay... That's the curse about knowing too much about the Internet...

Put yourself in situations that there are lots of people. I KNOW how hard this is, trust me. I'm not saying frequent bars or anything. But I dated a guy for a year that I met through a group I found on Meetup.com. It wasn't even a "singles" group. It was a Kite Flying group (yes, literal high in the air kites). We met up every weekend or so, and if no one could get their kites up, we'd have lunch and socialize.... I was surprised at how easy it was, and we had SO much fun.

There isn't a best method, it's not a science, unfortunately.

i'm having a bit of the same problem that you're having. i'm part of my university's rowing team, as well as the rowing club (i happen to go to school in the same town i live in, so during the uni season i train out of the same club, but i race under my school's name), and i'm involved with the engineering community at school. the problem is that i know most of the girls in engineering (not too hard to do, there aren't all that many of them) and very few of them actually interest me, and the ones that do are usually taken. through rowing i've met one girl i like, but that situation's kind of up in the air right now, i have no idea if anything will come of it.

so i'm in two good sized social circles, and i've met one girl i liked. if you're going to university/college, classes can be a good way to meet new people. if you can get into a study group, or if your courses have tutorials or labs, then you have a great opportunity to get to know other students. if you're like me and you don't have a lot of members of the opposite sex in your classes, then you can try taking a course in another department or faculty that might interest you. this year i'm taking a first year psychology course because there's a second year course that interests me and this is a prerequisite course for it. this semester i've discovered just how much easier it is to meet girls in arts classes. my problem this semester is that i didn't really attend class or the tutorial very often so i didn't have the chance to talk to them very often, but it's definitely a good way to do it.

other than that, i'm with alex, if you see a girl you find attractive, go up and try to strike up a conversation. if it's hard at first just remember that you'll get better the more you do it.

that's my advice for the day, now it's time to stop procrastinating and start studying for my exams next week kill me now