Wants/Needs That Cause You to Seek Romance

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NeantHumain
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30 Nov 2008, 3:10 am

Most of us don't seek romantic relationships for no reason. We've got basic psychological and biological reasons for it. Here are mine:

  • Emotional connection: There's just something nice about finding someone who you care about and who cares about you. There's something about being with someone who you actually look forward to seeing. It'd be nice to be able to talk to someone about real concerns without worrying about them rejecting you as some kind of loser.
  • Companionship: Romantic companionship is just different than hanging out with some same-sex friend. There's something inherently enjoyable about it, no matter what you happen to be doing during that time.
  • Affection: I've never really tried the hugging and kissing thing or the more lustful making out. Again, it seems like it would be something desirable. When I went on a date a few weeks ago, I felt the urge for some kind of physical closeness or affection, but really had no idea how to go about it. I asked her if she was okay with me putting my arm around her, and she said no.
  • Sex: Obviously this is the most primal reason and the one that gives the whole dating thing its urgency.



ToadOfSteel
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30 Nov 2008, 7:26 am

NeantHumain wrote:
  • Emotional connection: There's just something nice about finding someone who you care about and who cares about you. There's something about being with someone who you actually look forward to seeing. It'd be nice to be able to talk to someone about real concerns without worrying about them rejecting you as some kind of loser.
  • Companionship: Romantic companionship is just different than hanging out with some same-sex friend. There's something inherently enjoyable about it, no matter what you happen to be doing during that time.
  • Affection: I've never really tried the hugging and kissing thing or the more lustful making out. Again, it seems like it would be something desirable. When I went on a date a few weeks ago, I felt the urge for some kind of physical closeness or affection, but really had no idea how to go about it. I asked her if she was okay with me putting my arm around her, and she said no.
  • Sex: Obviously this is the most primal reason and the one that gives the whole dating thing its urgency.


I think those are the 4 base psychological needs fulfilled by a romantic relationship. As for myself, the ones I need fulfilled are the first three (I do have a hand, you know...)



sunshower
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30 Nov 2008, 8:01 am

I agree with ToS. And tonight has made me realize that close relationships (sexual/non-sexual) with other people are vital for survival.

Unless you're a hermit. I don't mean that sarcastically, that's a way out. As long as you cut all contact with other people you're safe. Otherwise having at least one close relationship with another person is a prerequisite for survival.

I understand suicide.


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jkrane
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30 Nov 2008, 9:47 am

I'm just bored and wanna f**k.

Oh yeah...and the emotional part would be nice too. Never had an emotional connection with a girl. Not even on a friendship level.



ReGiFroFoLa
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02 Dec 2008, 9:16 am

NeantHumain wrote:
Most of us don't seek romantic relationships for no reason. We've got basic psychological and biological reasons for it. Here are mine:

  • Emotional connection: There's just something nice about finding someone who you care about and who cares about you. There's something about being with someone who you actually look forward to seeing. It'd be nice to be able to talk to someone about real concerns without worrying about them rejecting you as some kind of loser.
  • Companionship: Romantic companionship is just different than hanging out with some same-sex friend. There's something inherently enjoyable about it, no matter what you happen to be doing during that time.
  • Affection: I've never really tried the hugging and kissing thing or the more lustful making out. Again, it seems like it would be something desirable. When I went on a date a few weeks ago, I felt the urge for some kind of physical closeness or affection, but really had no idea how to go about it. I asked her if she was okay with me putting my arm around her, and she said no.
  • Sex: Obviously this is the most primal reason and the one that gives the whole dating thing its urgency.



Oh come on, give a break! Its only about sex, selfishness, fear, coldness, indiferentness, selfishnes and sex, sex, sex :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: *humans are infected*



makuranososhi
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02 Dec 2008, 1:22 pm

ReGiFroFoLa wrote:
NeantHumain wrote:
Most of us don't seek romantic relationships for no reason. We've got basic psychological and biological reasons for it. Here are mine:

  • Emotional connection: There's just something nice about finding someone who you care about and who cares about you. There's something about being with someone who you actually look forward to seeing. It'd be nice to be able to talk to someone about real concerns without worrying about them rejecting you as some kind of loser.
  • Companionship: Romantic companionship is just different than hanging out with some same-sex friend. There's something inherently enjoyable about it, no matter what you happen to be doing during that time.
  • Affection: I've never really tried the hugging and kissing thing or the more lustful making out. Again, it seems like it would be something desirable. When I went on a date a few weeks ago, I felt the urge for some kind of physical closeness or affection, but really had no idea how to go about it. I asked her if she was okay with me putting my arm around her, and she said no.
  • Sex: Obviously this is the most primal reason and the one that gives the whole dating thing its urgency.



Oh come on, give a break! Its only about sex, selfishness, fear, coldness, indiferentness, selfishnes and sex, sex, sex :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: *humans are infected*


*shakes head* Again, RGFFL, I have to disagree with you - that may be your experience, but that is hardly what romance is.

Neant - I think you've hit a lot of it in that short list... a partner, a companion, a friend, a lover, a confidant, a co-conspirator, someone to share experiences with, share thoughts with, someone with whom the day seems better no matter what has happened. They do exist.


M.


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Cyberman
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02 Dec 2008, 1:48 pm

ReGiFroFoLa wrote:
*humans are infected*

Aim for the head! :lol:

But anyway, I agree with NeantHumain and ToadOfSteel.



NeantHumain
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02 Dec 2008, 6:21 pm

ReGiFroFoLa wrote:
NeantHumain wrote:
Most of us don't seek romantic relationships for no reason. We've got basic psychological and biological reasons for it. Here are mine:

  • Emotional connection: There's just something nice about finding someone who you care about and who cares about you. There's something about being with someone who you actually look forward to seeing. It'd be nice to be able to talk to someone about real concerns without worrying about them rejecting you as some kind of loser.
  • Companionship: Romantic companionship is just different than hanging out with some same-sex friend. There's something inherently enjoyable about it, no matter what you happen to be doing during that time.
  • Affection: I've never really tried the hugging and kissing thing or the more lustful making out. Again, it seems like it would be something desirable. When I went on a date a few weeks ago, I felt the urge for some kind of physical closeness or affection, but really had no idea how to go about it. I asked her if she was okay with me putting my arm around her, and she said no.
  • Sex: Obviously this is the most primal reason and the one that gives the whole dating thing its urgency.



Oh come on, give a break! Its only about sex, selfishness, fear, coldness, indiferentness, selfishnes and sex, sex, sex :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: *humans are infected*

I don't know where you're getting this from since I said I'm referring to myself and asking others for their own take. I take it these are your romantic wants and needs. Aside from the sex part, I don't see how any of it applies to a relationship (e.g., selfishness and indifference would "thrive" best outside a relationship).