Conflicting options with women

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I'm a one-woman man, always have been - yet I find myself in a quandary. When actively searching for a potential girlfriend, I always have focused on one at a time. Over the years, turning 22 soon and still a virgin, I'd like to have sex at least once soon and get it over with. Here's my issue:

There's a girl I've been working up the courage to ask out, just met her at school a couple months ago, I see her at the campus all the time, etc. She seems like the kind of girl I'd actually consider a serious relationship with, but we'll find that out for certain when I get to know her better on a one-on-one basis.

There's another girl who works at the campus... I've known her for quite a long time (high school days), and events have led to us spending some time together. She is not the kind of person I would want a relationship with, but there's a strong possibility of sex judging by the playful vulgarity of our conversations.

I can't say I've been in a situation like this before... I know most NT guys would say hit that b***h and then hook up with the other one, but it just doesn't seem right to me. Also, the conflict of the three of us being in the same place frequently probably wouldn't end well.

Perhaps I know the proper course of action (try with girl 1 first, if that fails hook up with girl 2), but the temptation for girl 2 is almost overriding the possible jeapordizing of a relationship with girl 1... Or maybe I should look at it in the light of the fact that girl 1 and I haven't even gone on a date, therefore I have no loyalty toward her - yet... but that's kind of how I've been all my life: even when I'm not currently dating, I feel loyalty toward the girl I'm considering.

Help?

[Tangential Edit: An interesting observation for some of you may be that I am an atheist. I also happen to actively believe gods do not exist, I don't believe in souls or afterlife, and I don't believe life has any intrinsic meaning - all meaning is derived subjectively... Yet I'm monogamous from the get-go and personally anti-abortion (though my legal stance is pro-choice))

Last edited by Legato on 03 Dec 2008, 4:09 am, edited 2 times in total.

Buy a box of condoms just in case anything actually happens.

Truth at its finest.

there's nothing going on with girl 1 at the moment so there's no reason for her to get mad if you hook up with girl 2. if it's really that important to you, then go ahead and try to hook up with girl 2 and once you're done, try for girl 1. the other option is try for girl 1, if it doesn't work out, go for girl 2. i think you should try for girl 1 first, she may meet someone while you're trying to hook up with girl 2 and become unavailable. if it doesn't work out, just fall back on girl 2, if it does, then you've got a relationship and most likely sex (unless she's religious and her religion prohibits it).

Go for the first girl. If it works out with her, you can loose your virginity to someone who actually means something to you, rather than some random slut who means nothing.

Go for girl 1 & do it now. If that fails, then you can be guilt free to explore other options. The ideal thing to do would have been to ask girl 1 out a long time ago before other opportunities arose. However, you can only act in the present, so ask her out now before you guilt yourself out of even more good opportunities later.

This.

I'm not sure why you'd just want to have sex. Is it the principle of the thing?

This is what I will do, I decided. Thanks for the advice all!



Why do I just want to have sex? Because sex is sexually stimulating and fun? I'm sure sex + love is infinitely better than sex without love, but sex is still sex. And sex is good.

if #2 is sure thing i would try w/ her 1st because you'll be better prepared for girl #1 and have more experience with which to please her.

@Orbyss wanting to have sex is natural urge in almost all people (and animals as well)

I had considered that, but if girl 1 is really worth it, she won't care whether I have some experience or none - all of my experience could be tailored to her, anyway.

Don't mind alex... he's a big advocate of the shotgun method... a real quantity over quality guy...

Took me a while to get this one but you shouldn't approach girl 1 until there's a girl 6. That's the only way your attention will be sufficiently divided and you'll get the proper uninterested outlook to be attractive. If you care a little then you've gone too deep too fast, diminish contact till you don't care and till then she can be your girl 3 to someone else.

Oh, good lord, I know that; the question was in context of the original post, and why he'd want random sex with that woman when it could well be much more worth it to wait.

How about random sex, and then waiting for something good with a relationship included. Most men take this route anyway, but it's rather out of character for me, I suppose.

Also, an update!

I ignored girl 2's desires to get in my pants (gawd, she's probably not going to stop going for me. The wrong girls always get all infatuated with me), and TODAY I got girl 1's number with a positive reaction! Not to get too excited, but WOO FREAKING HOO!! !!

That wouldn't be fair for girl #2, if she speaks with Legato in a 'vulgar' way that doesn't mean she's a slut waiting to be a sex training tool for him , she's probably just knows the OP very closely.

This is how my South Park-liberalism connection came into being.



Amen, brother. Yet one person I was interested in last year was freaked out when I tried to "wait" for her. (She wasn't ready for a relationship at the time, and didn't know when she would be ready)

Since when does that even cross peoples' minds, let alone freak them out?