im in a right dilemma! please help?!?!

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ditto title, because i have a boyfriend, 3 yrs older than me-21-but theres this guy at work that im falling madly for, 19 yrs older than me-37-but i know i cant be with them both.
which is why ive come to ask for your advice, because ive been with my boyfriend since last august, we started chatting online to begin with, but met quite soon after chatting and getting to know each other online. he was great to begin with, buying me things, doing stuff for me, letting me go to work with him now and again, then a couple of days before he took my virginity, he started getting really sh***y over the smallest things, such as me asking to go to work with him, problems with his tractor at work, me asking for stuff(i only ever asked for a drink from the local shop, i didnt ask for a £300 ring) etc. etc. on the night he took my virginity he got sh***y to begin with because he couldnt get his penis in, we left it for an hour and tried again, and was successful that time. ever since he has been sh***y over small things, but did tell me when we started chatting online that he did have a short fuse, and everytime he gets sh***y about something, if i say anything about it he just says "i have a short fuse, you KNOW that!"
on the other hand this guy at work, we first started chatting very briefly a few weeks after i started working in this supermarket last october, as i would see him in his department(fruit and veg) when i had to put stuff back on the shelves. everytime i go up to him he always says "alright mate?" so i reply saying whether i am or not(mostly i am, so i say "yea not bad" then he replies with "good!"), he then takes whatever stuff from his department i have and i follow him while he puts it back and we end up talking along the way, then after hes put everything back, i just stop there for 2 or 3 minutes while we talk. i always say to myself "right ill stay for 2 or 3 minutes then carry on putting stuff back" but he ends up telling me to go back and i end up saying i dont want to and that id rather stay there and chat to him, which goes on for about 5 mins. more recently, we have been getting to know each other better, like age, full name, a bit about family etc. etc. i even plucked up the courage to ask for his number yesterday, but he didnt give it to me not because he didnt want to, but because he was worried my boyfriend would get angry, i told him i didnt care and i only wanted it in a friend way but he still didnt give it to me. in this same chat he also told me "im not really looking anymore, i dont really wanna join any dating agencies, i just have really bad luck with ladies" and he had quite a miserable, sad look on his face, and i felt sorry for him. today, i was walking to this supermarket because i get a 10% staff discount and they sell most of the stuff i regularly buy, and i bumped into him. he was alking towards the town centre, away from the supermarket, i offered to walk with him and he seemed to almost have wanted the company, because he literally accepted with open arms. we just spoke about stuff in general then when we got back to the supermarket(he had driven to work 20 mins away from where he lives and was early because he thought he started at 12 but actually started at 1, and said he needed to go to town to draw out some money and buy some cough sweets), it seemed as though he wanted rid of me nearly, because we went into the staff canteen, sat down and had a drink and a bite to eat, then when it was coming up for quarter to 1, he said "look, mate, i really must dash, ill speak to you later" and just fled off. i finished my drink and left the canteen, went over to his department because i wanted to buy some grapes, and all he said to me was "i cant stop and chat my boss is over there" and carried on with his work. he had said to me while we were in town that he would get a bit worried about what people might say about me and him, but i told him i didnt care. what he had done in the canteen and when i went to his department hurt me quite a bit, so when i started my shift, he normally puts the boxes the fruit and veg come in under the tills for customers to use, so when he came around to do this, i saw him coming but i tried to blank him, i quickly glanced at him, and he winked at me and said "alright mate?" and i just flashed a quick smile and quickly got on with my work. he came to put more boxes out a while later, and i was sat there with no customers, i tried not to look at him but he came up to me and said "alright mate?" again i quickly reply with a "no" and nothing more, not even looking at him. and he replied with "whats up?" and a raised eyebrows-concerned kind of look, and i just said, still without looking at him "oh its nothing, im sure ill live" and he said "no, come on, im here to listen, i wont tell anyone", then i looked at him with a serious look on my face and said "no, honestly, its nothing" and he said "alright, ok. as long as your ok though" with that same eyebrows raised-concerned look. he came past again but this time, i tried to put on a really miserable, sad look and when he said "alright mate?" i said "no, i wanna go home" he asked "whys that then?" with his eyebrows raised-concerned look while walking over to my till, and i said "because i feel like crap, because of my problems im still not telling you, my knee is killing me and because i feel like im gonna have the worlds worst case of flu" when i finished my shift, i walked down through his department and walked up to him, he saw me, and he asked "are you only upset because of your laptop?"(laptop got pinched on the train yesterday) i said "no" then he said "seriously, im here to listen if you want to tell me anything, im not gonna spread it round, im not like that" but i said "honestly, its fine, id rather not tell anyone" and he did his eyebrows raised-concerned look and said "only if your sure" and i nodded, then we went on to chat about other stuff and he asked me "do you think, at 37, im too old to find a girl and have a family?" this didnt shock me in any way or anything, so i just looked him in the eye and said "no, not really, i know someone married to someone 19 yrs older than her and shes pregnant with his kid" he said "oh right, fair enough" then i said that i wanted to go home and have some tea because i was feeling sick as a dog and he said "alright then mate take care of yourself" then i went home.
on one hand, my boyfriend looks fairly good looking to me, but as described, his personality isnt that great, but on the other hand the "supermarket sweetie" has a great personality and looks quite cute to me. but i dont really know whats going on, i almost feel as though my boyfriend is trying to tell me he doesnt want to be with me n e more, and that the supermarket sweetie was sending mixed signals/playing with my emotions/wants to be with me but cant because of my boyfriend and because hes shy or scared. help?!?!

Wall of text mate, nones gonna read all that, long story short?

Not to say your original boyfriend is a keeper but you're looking at dating a coworker thats 37 now. Not to say its impossible for it to work out but you're hoping and dreaming if you think it will work out well. It sucks working with your lover because you never have your own time then. Any chance you have to take a breather, they take one. Anytime you need a moment alone, they show up. Its just a bad idea from the start. Oh, and god forbid you have a work related problem! It will turn into a personal problem in an instant and thats not fun at all. Maybe you should dump the first guy, but I wouldnt go after the coworker if I were you.

sorry, i just thought id try and give as much info as i can really, because i didnt really want to have to answer loads of questions but the prospect of that sounds quite fun now!
basically, im in a relationship, but i really like a guy at work, he cant have me because im in my relationship, im confused because it feels as though my boyfriend is trying to tell me he doesnt want to be with me anymore because hes getting peed off over small things and never used to, and this guy at work, at the beginning of the week he was single and looking, then yesterday he wasnt looking, then today he asked if he was too old-at 37-to find a girl and have a family, which i thought not because i know someone whose 26, married to someone 19 yrs older than her and she pregnant with his kid, which has lead me to believe hes single and looking again now.
ps. boyfriends quite good looking, but upsets me alot of the time and has a crap personality, but "supermarket sweetie" looks quite cute and has a great personality

I'm sorry, but I didn't see anything in your story that would suggest that "supermarket sweetie" is interested in anything more than a platonic relationship with you. On the contrary, I see signs that he wants you to back off.

Even if he did want something more, the maturity difference between 37 and 18 is huge, and bound to cause many problems in the relationship, particularly during the first several years. The relationship will take on more of a father-daughter aspect rather than boyfriend-girlfriend or husband-wife (more equal pairing), and instability in that relationship will considerably interfere with your maturation into full-fledged adulthood, learning to be responsible for yourself and for others emotionally, physically, financially, etc..

I've had a lot of problems with a 9 year gap... a 19 year gap is almost unthinkable, sorry to say.

I have to agree with this. True, your boyfriend doesn't sound like a real prize, but this isn't the only other guy in the world.
How about neither?

I agree. If he's sh***y so often he isn't going to get any better. And as far as "you KNOW I have a short fuse!" goes, the answer is that it's not YOUR job to learn to tolerate being treated disrespectfully, it's HIS job to correct his rotten behavior and treat you right. He won't keep any girlfriend worth having until he decides to straighten out and fly right. 2-year olds have short fuses. Exercising so little self-restraint is unacceptable in a grown man.

Of course, you haven't listed any positives in your relationship that might make it worth continuing but there may be some you didn't mention. It's your decision, but nobody deserves to be treated to regular tantrums from somebody they live with.

I agree with Emoal6. This guy doesn't seem like a keeper to me either, but the coworker may end up being just a friend. "Keep looking" is my advice. You're young, you've got plenty of time to find a good one.

He got what he wanted, now you're useless to him. That's how men are, unfortenately.

Hon, you are 18 years old. Why not take several steps back from BOTH of these guys, and work on becoming a complete person in yourself. A nineteen-year difference wouldn't be so daunting if you were both senior citizens, but he's middle-aged while you are not that many years removed from childhood. Give yuorself more time to practice being an adult before you get too involved with anyone .

I've read that in many cultures the practice is to marry very young girls off to older men, because then the girls never learn to become independent, strong women with their own views about things. It keeps the women quiet and submissive because they've never had a chance to learn how to speak up and stand up for their rights. It keeps the men very much in control.

Start looking for someone closer to your own age who, first of all, respects and likes you. One piece of advice I would give to any young woman: never get into a long-term committed relationship with any man who does not absolutely worship the ground you walk on. He should be willing to consider you an equal partner in everything .

*cough cough*
That's how boys are. Men aren't like that. It is indeed crap that a lot of guys who should've grown up by now haven't done so.