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Tim_Tex
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18 Sep 2006, 2:09 am

I am becoming very depressed about my difficulty meeting people. I have been accepted to five universities (four in Texas, and one in Idaho). But I feel that I can only date Aspie women.

The colleges I applied to were in:

Houston, TX
San Antonio, TX
Odessa, TX
El Paso, TX
and Boise, ID.

There are no single Aspie women in any of these places who are willing to go out with me. And there are no single Aspie women who are willing to do a long-distance relationship. And I am convinced that I am the one doing something wrong. What am I doing wrong? What could be the reason that Aspie women don't want to date me?

Tim


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TheMachine1
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18 Sep 2006, 2:48 am

I've been over this atleast ten times but I will do it again since I like you.

The ratio of male aspie to female aspies is very large. (4 to 1 or greater)

Of those aspie women very few will be single or looking for a man.( less than 1/4 available)

The pool of aspie women is very small anyway as aspeger is less than 1 percent of
the population.

I think there maybe some truth to aspie not getting along with each other as well as
they can with NTs.

Do not limit yourself to aspie women. Sure you maybe looking for a non-NT women but
the number of ADHD women will be a much much larger pool. ADHD upto 5% in the
US. Even amoung the sexs as far as I know. That means a massive larger number of
ADHD women to ASD. Look for signs a women has undiagnosis ADHD if she does not
self report it.



rogal_dorn
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18 Sep 2006, 3:32 am

Dude you shouldn't be picking a university for the number of aspie girls, you should be picking it because it's the best for the course you wish to study and you think it will give you the most benefits job-wise when you graduate.



MrMark
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18 Sep 2006, 5:07 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
There are no single Aspie women in any of these places who are willing to go out with me. And there are no single Aspie women who are willing to do a long-distance relationship. And I am convinced that I am the one doing something wrong. What am I doing wrong? What could be the reason that Aspie women don't want to date me?

Why are you so sure there are no single Aspie women in any of these places that are willing to go out with you. How do you know there are no single Aspie women who are willing to do a long-distance relationship? It may be that you're doing nothing wrong. It may only by that you try too hard, that you're too goal oriented. Maybe before you try having a girlfriend, you should try having friends. Maybe the reason Aspie women don't want to date you is that Aspie women don't want to date. When you get to college, hold your head up, smile, and say hi. Lots of NTs will find you fascinating because you're different.


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larsenjw92286
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18 Sep 2006, 8:19 am

Wow!


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subatai_baadur
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18 Sep 2006, 2:23 pm

Well, the fact that you're in the middle of f*****g nowhere is a start. No one has ever found anything they're looking for in Boise unless they're looking for blue grass(no one got that except me). Texas is also not the aspie hotspot, due to the extreme intolerance of most Texans. Go to the places where people would go even if a gun weren't being held to their head, and maybe they will come.

Postscript-And now that I just slammed on 5 separate cities, it should be interesting to see what happens.


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krex
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18 Sep 2006, 3:24 pm

I also think you are limiting you self with this concept of wanting a DX aspie female...I understand your aversion to very "NT Female" but remember that this is a "spectrum" and that many people your age my have never been DX or actually never heard the term.Few females NT or AS want to be in a relationship with someone who is more focused on being in a relationship then having a fulfilling life beyond a relationship......This is a difficult concept for me to explain but a "whole" person is more attractive to me then someone who needs "me" to feel complete....The closest analogy I can think of is.....I would rather be the "spice" on someones meal then the "meal" itself....One adds the flavor and interest to life(and life can feel more bland without it,depending on how much spice you need)and the other feels sufficating.

I am 42 and never heard about As before a few months ago....if somebody asked my what my "dx" was...I would have said...."individualist" "depressive" "recovering alcoholic" "existentialist" "deathrocker" "Punk" "homeless"...dependning on when they had asked me...
Try focusing on a person who shares your interests and life style choices...you may find a "hidden" aspie....or just someone who you can relate to.


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Tim_Tex
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18 Sep 2006, 5:15 pm

krex wrote:
I also think you are limiting you self with this concept of wanting a DX aspie female...I understand your aversion to very "NT Female" but remember that this is a "spectrum" and that many people your age my have never been DX or actually never heard the term.Few females NT or AS want to be in a relationship with someone who is more focused on being in a relationship then having a fulfilling life beyond a relationship......This is a difficult concept for me to explain but a "whole" person is more attractive to me then someone who needs "me" to feel complete....The closest analogy I can think of is.....I would rather be the "spice" on someones meal then the "meal" itself....One adds the flavor and interest to life(and life can feel more bland without it,depending on how much spice you need)and the other feels sufficating.

I am 42 and never heard about As before a few months ago....if somebody asked my what my "dx" was...I would have said...."individualist" "depressive" "recovering alcoholic" "existentialist" "deathrocker" "Punk" "homeless"...dependning on when they had asked me...
Try focusing on a person who shares your interests and life style choices...you may find a "hidden" aspie....or just someone who you can relate to.


In other words, the 4-1 ratio only measures Aspies with an actual diagnosis, right? So, number of Dx'd locals females, plus number of un dx'd females, plus number of dx'd females willing to do a long-distance relationship.

I like, I like.

Tim


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krex
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18 Sep 2006, 6:18 pm

Actually...according to Tony Attwood....there are less then 4 to 1 who have been DX!! !!He just hypothisises this number based on what he thinks it would be IF all women were DX(He bases this on the ratio of male vs female individuals with AUtism...which is easier to "see" and more likely to be DXed
So the ratio could be even larger but less likely that women would ever be DXed....so dont give up but dont jsut limit your search to women who are DX.You have to have a thick skin(hard for us more sensitive aspies)and expect that a lot of the "rejection" you experience isnt rejection of you as a "bad person" but not the right fit for that person....There are a 100 reasons that each person has for this that have nothing to do with who you are as a person but who they are....keep your eyes open for the shy girl hunkered down ingrossed in a book in the lybrary,science lab,computer lab....more likely to be an aspie.....Pick the school based on how good a school it is and how much you like the lay out of the town it is in.....(thats more then likely how an aspie girl would pick it)when stalking aspies...think like aspies....lol


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sociable_hermit
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18 Sep 2006, 6:30 pm

The two most alternative places in the USA that I've seen on the television or online are San Francisco and Austin, Texas.

I'd imagine Seattle is also fairly Aspie-friendly as the birthplace of 'grunge'.


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mysteriouslyabsent
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18 Sep 2006, 7:41 pm

You ever dated an apsie women?

You might be in for a nasty shock :lol:



Tim_Tex
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19 Sep 2006, 12:30 am

sociable_hermit wrote:
The two most alternative places in the USA that I've seen on the television or online are San Francisco and Austin, Texas.

I'd imagine Seattle is also fairly Aspie-friendly as the birthplace of 'grunge'.


UT Austin is almost impossible to get into, and San Francisco and Seattle are too expensive.

Tim


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Tim_Tex
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19 Sep 2006, 12:48 am

Which would be easier to find:

a) another Aspie (with or without diagnosis)

or b) an NT who meets the following criteria:

--is skinny and has at least a 34C chest
--has similar interests as me
--believes in premarital sex (I am socially liberal)
--will stay with me no matter what
--will see past me not making a certain amount of money

Tim


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TheMachine1
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19 Sep 2006, 2:21 am

--is skinny and has at least a 34C chest

Skinny yes. Yeah your from houston thats the breast impant capital of the US
(not LA). Find a small busted girl and save $5000 on implants. Cheaper than spending
$50000 on a sports car to get a big busted girl! hahahah



--has similar interests as me

What are your interest?


--believes in premarital sex (I am socially liberal)

Should be no problem


--will stay with me no matter what

Thats insane and unrealsitic

--will see past me not making a certain amount of money

If your in school they want expect you to be rich.



Tim_Tex
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19 Sep 2006, 3:14 am

I have heard the term "friend with benefits". What does this mean?

Tim


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TheMachine1
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19 Sep 2006, 4:13 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
I have heard the term "friend with benefits". What does this mean?

Tim


Sexual relationship without the strings of a typical romantic relationship. I guess
some would call it a typical man and a slut hooking up.

-----------

You would not want to goto UT austin even if you could. Its a hard weed out school,
big class sizes and you would likely drop out.