Something I'd like to share..

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There is this girl I've known for almost 8 years now. We've more or less always been close friends. At times, I was her only friend, and she was mine. Atleast in Iceland. We played WoW together, messed around, went to the movies, etc., and were friends. I made her laugh, and she gave me warmth. I've more or less always loved her-- When we 'split up', I miss her more than I'd miss.. anything. Once, I accidentally hurt her, and she is so fragile, she had to go to the doctor. Her 'internet-friends' didn't like that, and the few of them who were also my friends 'yelled' at me, called me insensitive, etc.. Well, something happened, and I started playing on another server, but we still met and talked on a daily basis. I caught some of her MSN discussions, and I noticed that she was talking to them.. well.. friendlier, I suppose. I shrugged, and assumes she was defensive, seeing as there are other people who'd see us, and she was quite shy. Well, when I decided to play with her again, I find her playing with another guy, and playing alot with him. I become 'slightly' jealous, without showing it much. After a few ups and downs, I befriend the guy, and we three become friends. ( Although I felt like a third wheel.. ). We were in the same guild, and she was popular in it. (Although I'm quite sure it was because she had breasts.) She was a good friend to most of them there, although many of them were old friends of her, friends who hated me. However, this was getting to her head. She used to be sweet, innocent, and shy. She was gaining fake confidence, making less-than-nice remarks about others and such. Well, to cut this rant short, the guildmaster comes to Iceland. Do note, that we're both young teenagers, and he is 18. He comes, and neither of them say anything to anyone. Once they come online again, I asked her about it. Then I, it seems, made a horrible mistake, and asked her if they had sex, seeing as he was 18, "charming", popular, and was with her alone for a week. She went angry, and blocked me. (After a number of curse-words). I went into a huge depression, trying to tell myself that she'd changed, that I was better off. But I never believed that, truly. I do miss her so...

The point of this, is what should I learn from it? What, if anything, did I do wrong?

It's your own fault.

You knew her for like 8 years, and havebeen really close, you should have known she is very sensetiv/fragile.
And yet, dunno how, you hurt her.
What do you think she feels like then? When someone as close as you could hurt her?
You basicly messed up when you hurt her the first time. And then 1nd time, asking her if she had sex with the guildmaster.

Try understand things from her point of view.
And you should also have told her way before that you liked her, if that's what you do

Your question about sex may have come off as quite blunt. You still didn't know how much they liked each other, and you were already asking such intimate questions. You should have first asked her about the status of your friendship and then you'd know how much trust still existed between you two. That would have given you a clue about the kind of questions you were allowed to ask.
Also, she may have deduced (wrongly or not, I don't know) that you were expecting to eventually do her, and that you merely wanted to check whether you hadn't lost your investment. And that is infinitely worse than the above scenario.
In either case, you don't have the right to demand to know what she does under the sheets. Perhaps the wording of your question gave the impression that you thought you owned her. What you need to do now is use all of your diplomatic tools in painstakingly explaining exactly how you felt, what worried you, and why you asked what you asked. No success guaranteed.

I'm going to take a minority/contrarian position -- Life is too short to get overly concerned about every person's feelings, and while you can control your own behavior and interactions, you can't be responsible for someone else's emotional volatility and frailty.

You're a young man (just starting, really), and there are really so many other fish in the sea. Stop agonizing over this person, and I don't even think you should bother humbling yourself to her or apologizing, because you are just making your position weaker and diminishing your stature in her eyes (not that it should matter at this point).

Let this person go, make some new friends, and get out there and meet new people. Your lives may intersect later, but right now it's just better to let this whole thing settle and for both of you to grow up some more. You've already put yourself through the wringer (with her help and her friends' help), and you probably don't deserve to be treated like that. It is pretty common for guys when they are young and not sure of themselves to be taken advantage and buffeted around by others, especially women -- when you get older (and the gender balance of power shifts), you'll see that they were taking advantage of your weakness, and laying a huge undeserved guilt trip on you.

Good luck, and have fun.

Plain said that's IMO BS

To cut out a person you've known for 8 years. I mean if SHE did it, THEN there migth be something to it

Tilas, when I said I hurt her, I meant that we were playfighting (I hold her, she scratches me and laughs), and I accidentally slipped, and she hit her head in the wall.

And, the main reason I asked, was because I was quite certain she was too innocent. That she had no interest whatsoever. Maybe it was because I was the only male not related to her around her and repulsed her.. *shrug*

And, I know there are "other fish". But I don't care for just any fish. I want an innocent one, no matter how much of a paedophile I sound.

And I do not care if she was using me. I was happy around her, and that's rare for me.

Your focus on innocence sounds more like you are naive (normal for a young man) than a pedophile.

You have to ask yourself -- why do you value innocence so much? Do you feel that only an innocent person will value you, while an experienced one will reject you, having known something "better"? Do you really want to be the first one there all the time? Experienced people know a bit better about what they want, and are less likely to change their minds and do something erratic (like she appears to have done)

Innocence is also not a permanent state -- all humans learn, acquire experience (as you should know from WoW, you can never not gain experience), and thus become less naive and less "innocent." We all eventually "level up" -- that's the joy of life, just like it's the joy of playing WoW.

This might just be an immature phase you're going through, but I would watch out, because you are going to be an unhappy adult if you continue to value this one trait, not common in adults, over all others.

And it doesn't sound like she's innocent anymore anyways, so forget about her. Just meet a lot more people, you'll find more than a few who you are happy with.

I totally understand, but you gotta understand that that could never last. I'm sure you (as all of us AS folks here) have had some bad social experiences in the past, with your trust violated, friends turning on you, stuff like that. It's safe to say that while everyone goes through this, AS folks tend to take those experiences very hard, as we really don't understand them that well, and we get blindsided. This is probably why we get social anxiety -- a Pavlovian reaction to negative feedback. Sometimes it just feels safer to be a hermit and to hunker down, hoping that someone else will jump in the bunker with you.

The fact is though that you are going to have to work through these issues. You may need therapy (if you're not going already), but also just getting out there and doing something a little bit uncomfortable, like student government in college or some other "out of the house" activity organization with peers that are different than the ones you have now (read, not WoW players and more Co-Ed) will break some of these barriers down gradually. Doing anything new or unfamiliar is always uncomfortable -- think of how hard it was to read or write for the first time, or to ride a bike. Practice makes perfect.

The one thing I do know is that you're not going to "fix" the current situation with your female friend. AS love to try to fix stuff, but people aren't machines, and some things can't and shouldn't be fixed. Just let it go, you'll feel so much better, and find something else to replace that hole in your heart that she left. I promise you'll feel much better if you just go out, build yourself up as a person, confront your fears, and make your life about something other than pleasing that one person you're fixated on. Build your own real-life WoW character, rack up experience points, get some new skills, and level up

If possible, say sorry for what you did and how it went.
And ask her if it's possible for you, to explain to her the whole case.
But then again, I don't know if you love her not.
"jealouse" isn't something you can use alone, IF it is because you also love her, like I said, ask her if she will give you the chance to explain yourself.

And you could most likly say that you over time began to like her more than just a friend but couldn't say it and were jealouse and bla bla.

Or something