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Jamesy
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14 Jan 2009, 3:26 pm

One of my friends told me "good looking people with good personalities don't really exist"!

From your personal expieriences does anyone here agree with this?



gina-ghettoprincess
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14 Jan 2009, 3:30 pm

Not true. There's a girl in my class who most of the girls don't really like cos she's really pretty and boys like her, but she's not bitchy at all, she's really nice.

In fact, I think good-looking people are more discriminated against than ugly people (not counting showbiz, where it's the other way round). It's just a matter of jealousy.


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Tim_Tex
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14 Jan 2009, 3:46 pm

The thing is that everyone has their own definition of those two things.



MissConstrue
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14 Jan 2009, 3:54 pm

I have to agree with Tim except for the good looking part. Most people are naturally going to respond to looks first then personality.


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gina-ghettoprincess
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14 Jan 2009, 4:09 pm

MissConstrue wrote:
I have to agree with Tim except for the good looking part. Most people are naturally going to respond to looks first then personality.


The order of things by which people will judge you:

Looks
Social skills (or the "top layer" of your personality)
Personality (who you are inside)

What most people think is your personality is actually your social skills. They rarely bother trying to get to know your true personality at all. It could even be said that this is just as shallow, if not more so, than judging someone by how they look, as it is easier to change looks than social skills.

It was before I realised that this continuum exists that I thought there was something wrong with my personality. People would hate me whenever I said what I thought, so therefore I concluded that I must naturally be a bad person. But then I realised that what I say out loud, the bit people judge me for, isn't who I am as a person.


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MissConstrue
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14 Jan 2009, 4:15 pm

That's very true in my experiences.... :(


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protest_the_hero
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14 Jan 2009, 4:51 pm

I'm good looking and a cool guy! Although I have other reasons that made me develop character.



JohnHopkins
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14 Jan 2009, 4:51 pm

I don't agree with that at all. That person is clearly just bitter from punching above their weight.



Kirska
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14 Jan 2009, 4:51 pm

I can only hope that I am an example of how it's not true. I don't think I've ever had anyone call me ugly unless they're into bigger people, but I suppose it depends on your definition of a good personality.

I have some relatives that I think defy the statement. Here is the first one that comes to mind (won't use any names of course):
http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak- ... 9_4973.jpg
That is my cousin and his wife. He's a bit older now but I have always been told by friends that he's good looking. He has a great personality and is an extremely nice and friendly family man. His whole immediate family is like this. Here is his sister: http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak- ... 9_8044.jpg

Anyway, I am positive that people like this exist because I know many. Good looking people are sort of rare. Good personality people are also sort of rare. The odds of having both are certainly lower, but to say they don't exist is just silly.


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14 Jan 2009, 4:56 pm

Of course they exist. Everyone in my former (ie blood) family are good looking, and are good people. I'm good looking and a good person but thats NEVER enough when your an aspie :x =/



Pugly
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14 Jan 2009, 6:40 pm

Someone who would say that just wants the contrapositive to be true.

I have really seen no correlation between looks and personality, except at the extremes. But I still don't think it affects things that much.

Social skills trumps it all...


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garyww
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14 Jan 2009, 6:43 pm

No it's not true. Attractive people who are well adjusted and sincere in their realtionships do exist. Ugly people who will abuse you and use you and lie to you also are real and they do exist.
Hopefully you'll only encounter the more attractive people who are sincere on your journeys through life.


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garyww
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14 Jan 2009, 6:45 pm

I forgot to add that 'attractivenes' is a realtive thing. Just look for 'real' people. They do tend to stand out from the crowd.


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Aspie1
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14 Jan 2009, 7:47 pm

Jamesy wrote:
One of my friends told me "good looking people with good personalities don't really exist"!

I have a story that really hit home when I read this. I've always felt threatened in the presence of good-looking people (whether or not an actual threat is there), probably because I'm quite ugly-looking myself. Anyway, when I showed up at my new System Support job on the first day, my supervisor showed me to my office. As I was getting settled in, I noticed a really attractive girl my age (I'm in my mid 20's) sitting in a cubicle right outside my door. Right there and then, I felt uneasy, even though she simply sat in her cubicle doing her usual work. I logically knew she wasn't a threat, but I just couldn't shake the feeling. Although when she stopped by my desk to introduce herself a few hours later, I warmed up to her a little. During the next few days, she called me a couple of times when her computer wasn't working, so by then, I no longer felt any threat around her. A week or so later, when I came in on a weekend, and saw her there, I got a chance to have a conversation with her. I think that day, I was finally able to get to know her enough to see that she was a nice person and fun to be around. She even understood some of my geeky computer jokes.

Now I'm sure it's been said before: there are people out there who are both attractive and nice. But I've had so many negative experiences with good-looking people, I can't help but feel uneasy around them. I even feel bad at times for automatically labeling them people as threats, but it's almost an automatic reflex. Most often, the person ends up proving me wrong, but the initial reflex is still there at the beginning.