What is Romance?

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So what is Romance?

What is being Romantic?

This can be a difficult question to answer as perceptions of romance vary from person to person. It is seen as romantic, for example, to buy your girlfriend a bunch of flowers or a gift like a necklace or ring or something. However, I personally feel that, unless there is actual meaning behind the gifts then they are just empty gestures just to keep 'the lady happy' or 'keep her sweet'. For example, if you actualy do buy your partner a gift, and it doesnt happen to be her birthday or christmas or anything, and you actually want to do it and you surprise her as it is completely spontaneous, thats kinda romantic. If you go to the effort to cook your partner a candlelit meal, even if its just pasta, at the end of the day you have made the effort and thats romantic. Basically making nice gestures to your partner because you genuinely want to and adding a your own unique twist to them to show someone you care about them is romantic. I will leave it to your own imagination to think of the nice gestures and how you would carry them out. However, it also helps to know enough about what your partner is into as you can then tailor these nice gestures to suit them and that is also very romantic. Again I will leave you to imagine.

Not to seem sexist or anything, but ever since puberty kicked in, I thought the point of romance was to keep the relationship enjoyable for the girl. I could be wrong, but the whole concept seems unnecessary and overly sentimental (or to use a more precise Yiddish term, schmaltzy). To me, romance is just another chore in your life you gotta do; not much different than paying for insurance. I think it'd be really nice if people didn't have to do romantic things, but given the difference in the way men and women think, that's a little more than a pipe dream. Then again, romance drives a big part of our economy; just think of greeting card companies, fine restaurants, carriage ride operators, cruise lines, bed & breakfast owners, Sybaris hotels, and <annoyed groan> wedding planners. So argue with me if I'm wrong, but I think romance is just a hassling but necessary chore. It can be somewhat pleasant at times (you get to partake on what you're giving), but it'd be a whole lot nicer if people didn't have to do it.

Aspie1 - I dont agree, some of us here are hopeless romantics. I'm the type of guy who will send flowers to a girl for no reason, just because it makes me feel good. I've also been known to give little gifts to female friends of mine, not because I'm looking for some action, but because its something I enjoy doing. I'm not very good at expressing my emotion, verbally or thru body language, so it is a good way for me to project my feelings.

Romance is a good thing, no need to let it die!

My POV on romance: Hype that women create to make a difficult thing even more difficut by those who pursue them.

My boyfriend's POV on romance: The means by which sex is purchased.

Serissa, your boyfriend described it perfectly. I didn't want to say it out loud, but now since it's aleady posted, I'm going to say it: romance is a prerequisite to sex. Although you're right too: the expectations that NT women set are so high, that romance seems more and more like a lost cause.

Romance is showing someone that you love them, and doing it seriously.

I don't see romance as a way to get sex, but then I'm another one of those self-proclaimed hopeless romantic sorts. No, to me romance is several things. It's a feeling--that feeling where you just care so much for someone, for who they are. You trust them, you adore them, you adore being around them. The knowledge that all they have to do to get you in a good mood is smile at you, and it makes your entire day better. It's also experiences with this person--those happy, warm moments that you both share and both will remember 'till your funeral's eve. Romance is the evening where everything seems to go right for once, where both of your ideals are met. It's that kiss under the full moon. Those great conversations that are funny and interesting enough to put into a novel. Those times when you can effortlessly ignore everything, stop thinking about the state of the world, and focus your attention on a single person--and know that they're doing the same. Romance is being inside a snowglobe with the person you're in love with, the both of you enjoying the hell out of it, needing nothing but each other to be happy. It's the knowledge that you'd do almost anything for this person, and that they'd do almost anything for you, but also the knowledge that neither of you have to do anything for each other because of how you feel. It's the feeling that brings your mood light even when darkness is all around you. Romance, to me, is nothing more or less than a moment where the feeling of love, rather than just lust, is shared by two people.

It's a good feeling.

I wonder how many of the non-cynical guys who are posting here are also on the "eligible odd-bods" thread?

I didn't because I didn't feel like putting myself on a singles list. I don't like dating services. >.<

My opinion of romance in my most non cynical fashion is that there is no universal book of romance. Except besides it is your job to make the other as happy as possible, and all of your considerations should have that in mind. Want to get in a relationship with a person? Will it make THEM happy? Romance is about giving. Giving and feeling good that you've given. It is a two player job. You need to be holding the reigns part of the way just as the other is. You can wow the other, but unless they play back, you are just treating them.

I'd say romance is just about being the best friend to a person you can possibly be. And dedicating yourself to that person. It doesn't matter what you do. Watch movies, listen to them cry, talk about work. Whatever. I personally would not consider a candle lit dinner romantic. Well perhaps candle lit, i like candles. But I want us to be watching pulp fiction or some s**t. That would be a romantic evening. And eating KFC, mmm mmm. To be a romantic, not only is it your job to be that persons friend, but to specifically go out of your way to entertain them, and please them. Surprise them. Make their day, their life memorable. That is what you can do with a mate you can't do alone. If you got someone who keeps playing little things on you, planting funny things, and pleasing things, making your day with a sweet gesture, then you live in a heaven with your mate indeed.

((I realize I should clarify and say non-cynicism is not a "fatal flaw." However, I do have to wonder if a guy saying he loves all thet girly crap is being sincere, or sucking up. Ah, well, you do what you have to, no need to recant, I'm just saying my impression as a mascuine cynical woman...))

Romance is just an umbrella term for clichés such as watching sunsets with/buying flowers for your partner.

I think that people are cynical about 'romance' because it has always been a cliché in itself; the word exists to describe those cinematic, overblown gestures. People confuse these predictable acts of 'fondness' with caring about people.

Romance is all about heart-shaped chocolates and candlelit dinners. I don't think that it refers to a genuine act of appreciating someone as a person.

To me someone being romantic is wanting to do something just for the sake of making someone you love feel loved and appreciated, if its a token girt because you feel guilty then i wouldn't want it.
I would rather have someon give me a flower picked from the garden because they thought it would brighten my day or to show that they were thinking of me than to be sent a massive bunch of flowers because they hadn't been.

What i'm trying to say is i'm a hopeless romantic and will go to almost any lengths to make the person i'm with feel that they are the most special person in the whole world just because i would want to know that they are aware of how i feel

baby

Romance is highly subjective, but it is basically showing someone you care about them, like buying your girlfriend a vacume or dish detergent.