Emotional Retardation

Post Reply New Topic

Is it better to be a female or male if you are an emotional ret*d aspie? I ask this because it seems as if many males who suffer from emotional retardation complain more about relationship issues or lack thereof than females who seem to get swooped up into marriage early in life. Female aspies who are immature seem to have traits which males are attracted to such as immature interests, simplicity, child like buoyancy, and such.

Male immature emotional aspies are thought of as weak, at least by an NT standard. This must do a number on their self esteem. It's obvious how that can be seen as unattractive to the standards of what females seek in a male. However, females suffer just as much although it is more subtle, especially if she is attractive. How does this effect the female self esteem?

What I'd like to hear in the responses to this post is if you think it's better to be a male emotionally ret*d aspie (attractive or unattractive) or a female aspie (attractive or unattractive).

I'd say female, becaues as long as you aren't hideous, guys will try to pick you up anyway.
Saves all the work.

Last edited by zghost on 07 Jan 2009, 11:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, but what if the naivete subjugates her to the wrong guy?

Uh..female. Females are like magnets and guys are like metal shavings, pretty damn easy for the female, however being a male emotionally ret*d is like the non magnetic metal shaving so to speak.

A magnet for what though?

Guys. Hence the metal shavings sticking to the magnet. Wow I must fail at interwebz analogy's.

What is interwebz? I'm not dumb but I really don't have any idea about the metal shavings. *frustrated*

NVM, I should have known better on a site full of aspies (no offense been the other way around many times). Basically I meant that females dont have to put as much effort (Oh God Im going to get my internet ass kicked by females now) into getting guys as guys have to, to get girls.

You should also know better to use acronyms like NVM. Anybody who is worth talking to in real life doesn't use robot lingo. Unless of course, you are a robot. I can't deny I'd like to pick a robot's "brain".

I got the annalogy.

What he was saying is that women are like a magnet + and then men are like metal shavings -

Think about your childhood toy Mr. Fuzzy. You know the guy who had plastic over his face and was filled with black shavings. You could use the magnet pen to pull up the metal and give him hair or a beard. Or think about an etch a sketch if you know how those work. The black in them is also metal shavings. Then when you shake it they all go to the sides...

Does that help?

As for the question I think you have to consider many NT girls get into bad relationships alos. Especially these days many kids are marrying kids and then end up regreting it later when they feel as if they missed out be it the guy or the girl.

As for AS guys, you know my opinion on that.

But I will share it none the less for the sake of discussion. In my experience I have found that AS hurt my ability to hold relationships as well as it amplified the already natural social anxiety of approaching women. I also foudn that having a natural concience I could not fake being coky because in fact I hated those guys and also in turn develpoed a hatred for the women dumb enough to fall for them. I always believed you had to truly be "the s**t" in order to flaunt it. And much to my dismay it was not until many years later did I discover most women do not have the powerful intuition I was raised to believe until they are much older and had been with enough docuh bags to smell a douche bag.

So in this way I would say early in life it is difficult for males with AS but if they can becoem comfortble with themselves as they grow older they will end up in a stable happy relationship.

Where as with As women they might (based on observation and also storys from an AS women I chated with on wrong planet) it seems to possibly be the opposite where they have an easier time in youth but as they grow older either A end up in a poor relationship wishing they could escape or B end up with so many poor relationships they end up giving up on men all together until further notice.

However in the case of AS and AS relationships it seems to be a 100% success ratio because as far as I have gathered they end up married and happy together.

So maybe the key is patience and understanding as well as good mentorship in life and a strong belief in everything happens for a reson and also learning from mistakes allows room for growth...

-Zane

Define "emotional retardation." If it means not developing any strong emotions, then it definitely works in the guy's favor, since "real men" are heartless killing-machines, apparently...

I don't know who's better.

I only know from my own experience that it doesn't help me. I know guys also don't like no emotional reciprocation. The last guy I was with thought that I had no interest in him. This was before I was knew or was diagnosed with aspergers. It caused a lot of problems between me and him and I can tell you I've also been called prude and cold hearted b***h for not getting it on with them right away or being THAT affectionate.

And no, I'm not asexual so don't even....< <

I just don't understand why it's "normal" to screw someone that you hardly know. Maybe it's an aspie thing I don't know. That seems to be another block I've had in relationships is that 3rd stupid dating rule! It's ashame people adhere to such a rule with this idea that it has to be at a specific time.

...and then they'll start running as fast as they can once they've gotten to know your immaturity in every possible field.

No offense but thats exactly the response I was expecting to see in this thread. Im going to be blunt as Jack Nicholson said in a few good men "YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!! !!". Its true if you cant handle it thats a shame. Guys are attracted to attractive woman, and while I totally object to viewing woman as an object, I think zghost was simply stating the obvious and you seam quite insecure.


Ok sorry, is that what you wanted? I was a walking zombie last night up tell 2:00AM and I think it got the message across quite clear, if not you can use your friend google. I would say my vocabulary and grammar skills is quite steler. Its not like I am talking in 1337.

haha. you're an idiot.

... unless the two people get married right away, in which case her emotional immaturity will eat away at the relationship until the man either beats her up, cheats on her, or abandons her.