Openness In and Out of [Intimate] Relationships

Post Reply New Topic

One interesting thing I've found in my dealing with relationships, be they intimate, friendship or acquaintanceship, is I tend to be open and closed at the points where you should be one rather than the other.

For instance when I'm simply an acquaintance with a person I might be sharing things like my sexual history or my deepest dreams and secrets with them. I'll be just as candid with a friend as well. When, however, it comes to a serious intimate realtionship I'll tend to clam up and when I should be talking I, as my mother puts it, "bury my head in the sand". I'll also entirely shut down in regards to expressing my feelings.

I have mentioned something of this nature in a post I made on anothher thread. The reason, however, which I reiterate to begin this thread is because I'm curious to know is this sort of behavioural pattern of being overly open with those with whom I'm neither intimate nor well acquainted but contrastingly closed off with those with whom I am intimate unique to me or relatively common amongst AS individuals?

I was in a situation like this recently.

If there isn't a great deal of openness by the time the friendship level is reached, that could be a red flag.

To OP- I'm the very same

I'm extremen about most things, unless it's potentially damaging to others involved in my personal history. I'm the most open with my significant other at the time, and what I've discovered with my current girlfriend is that my openness with her makes us both more open with other people too because we can support each other.

Friends and some acquaintences depending.

Although I have nothing to really speak from an angle of intimacy since I haven't much experience in that field. Only a couple and they didn't go that well....

I am only open to people I know closely, so my friends is my answer.

I'm not "open" period.

This is probably the biggest complaint some people have had with me. I never "let the walls down" so to speak. I pretty much stink when it comes to trying to express my true feelings, not sure it's even possible for me somedays.

The few times in life that I've made an attempt at "letting the walls down" someone's usually lobbed a bomb over the top and I've lived to regret it.

Iunno... I'm pretty open with everyone

My door only opens so far, and it doesn't really matter who you are. I wish I could be more open and trusting, but it is something that I have alot of trouble with. I will say that time is helping me in this department, and someday I may be able to trust someone enough to open up, but right now it is very difficult.