Friends or something more.................

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I've been talking to a guy for quite some time and he has always insisted that we be just friends. At first he was very uncomfortable around me and he said he didn't do relationships correctly. Now months later we see each other weekly at his apartment. We usually watch a movie or play a board game. We always have a good time and he seems to be becoming more and more comfortable with me. He was diagnosed last year with aspergers and I know a bit about it. Actually, I have read everything I could get my hands on about it.

Here's the thing we both belong to a friendship site and someone posted a comment about him suppose to be dating another woman. To keep me from seeing this he traveled about 45 minutes early one morning to delete the post. I had already saw the post and I questioned him about it a day or so later. He said that he had thought about dating this woman a while back, but it had not really gotten off the ground. That the woman that posted the comment must have thought it was more serious than it had been. I'm funny about things and I told him if he felt he was in a relationship I would not be spending time alone with him anymore. He sent around five emails to me insisting that it was okay for us to still get together, since he really felt this woman was a friend and not a girlfriend. I finally agreed that it was okay to see him anyway. The friendship site we belonged to was the place that we communicated the most, but a couple of months ago I started writing him at a different email address. Up until then he had been on the friendship site at least six times a week. Now he tells people that it took up more of his time than he would like so he is on it only maybe once a week. It seems odd that he quit going to it when I started writing him from a different email, so now he doesn't have to go there to reach me.

He makes plans in advance to do things with me. We have plans already in place for different times in this whole year. And if he thinks someone has done something to me he tells them about it, always taking my side. We are able to play games online and we spend a good deal of time each week doing this. If I need him to do something for me he's always there. Even things that an aspie wouldn't normally do if I need him to do it he will. I once got him to speak (because of his profession) to about 80 school kids.

I know this man has never felt romantic love for anyone. He's told me this before, but I wonder do you think we are just friends? I know that I probably spend more time with him than anyone else besides his family and he also spends more time emailing me than he does anyone else. Is it possible that this can ever be more than friends? I know in the past that when he has tried relationships that he has been hurt and the woman involved has just walked out on him. What should I do? I have deep feelings for this guy, but if I say anything to him he's still going to say just friends.

Edit

Ive embarrassed myself by thinking I was in a relationship with someone when they thought they were only friends

I think if he is on the spectrum it is likely that he thinks you are just friends and sends out romantic 'signals' by mistake. Sometimes aspie men dont realise that other men would place romantic significance on saying or doing certain things.

If you like him , then just stay friends, you can always 'work' on him . I dont think it will hurt to ask him to clarify whether you are still friends or romantically involved. I have been embarrased asking this but people have not terminated the friendship when I asked. In fact it made our friendship even closer.

i can tell my point of view because i'm in the exactly opposite situation: i'm the AS guy and i'm in love with my NT long-time-friend. Just to make things simpler she just discovered to be lesbian ( or bisexual, she keep saying lesbian but once, after a common friend asked about an ex boyfriend saying she was bi and not lesbian, she said to me "he got it", so i'm not sure).
I never been able to show my feelings to her, because she was into a long relationship, but now, she is dating a girl by a month, and i don't think she's so important to her. we are now very close, i sleep at her house often, and soon we'll be living in the same house ( as house-mates, with 2 other people). She always said we were good friends, but just friend, but i never tried to show her my feelings, or more exactly i never been able to do it. Sometimes i think she is throwing some signals to me, but i cannot be sure, and i just don't know how to ask her if she feels the same. i'm scared that if i get rejected, i would not be able to see her again.
Last time i was at her home, we were watching a movie lying next to each other, me massaging her back, and her neck, for like an hour, i was about to kiss her but then i stopped thinking that in a situation like that, if she wanted to kiss me, she would have kissed me. what should i think???? i also thinked that she may have fear that, after telling many people she was lesbian, being with a guy would give a strange image of her, and this thing is harder to manage if it's that way. Or simply she don't feel anything to me.
If you're in love with that guy, would you tell about your sexual encounters to him? she does, and this sometimes hurts me, and i think that if she feels something for me, she wouldn't tell thoes things. Or, because those are lesbian encounters, she may be trying to turn me on.
F*c* AS, i get confused by all those contradicting messages, while most people just ignore them and would try to stick the tongue in her mouth.

I've been going out with an AS woman as friends for a few months. Things had been going really well. She had told me she's always had relationship problems.
I think i did something to scare her off in the last week. I'm not sure what it might have been other than telling her i really care about her and think we're very compatible. I've tried contacting her but she won't return messages or calls. any suggestions?

I find it difficult to ask him exactly how he feels right now because I do not want to do harm to the friendship. I want to continue being in his life no matter how he labels us. He is a great person and I do not want to risk upsetting him and making things uncomfortable again. For some reason we seem to be moving closer now..........................................he's beginning to make more and more time for me. I hope this is a good sign.

darcylane, i have the same thing going on. I'm afraid to ask how she feels and i don't want to harm the friendship.
We had been spending more and more time together but i said i care for her and we're compatible. Now, she is not responding to my calls or messages. I think i'm taking Toadofsteel's advice and I'm stepping back for a few days and going from there.

well, things took a turn for the worst. i think she's shutting down and pushing me away. she said she wants some space but doesn't want to explain why.