I have AS and I'm gay...

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I have AS and I'm gay and I've essentially never had a relationship with anyone before even though I'm only a few months away from turning 21. Sometimes I'm not even sure if I'm in fact gay or not but other times I feel that I really am so I don't know what to think. I can't see myself ever being with a girl but I do with a guy.

I don't think I'll ever be able to find someone though that would like me or that I could understand feelings with very well.

One of my friends isn't sure about his orientation although as of recently I think he is more likely to be gay now but apparently still isn't sure. For some reason I really like him but I don't even really know why, I just do. He doesn't have AS but he should know that I do because I briefly told him about it once, that and that I was gay. He's having a pretty difficult time figuring out what he is now and it kind of makes me sad though I don't know why it should. Probably because of some of the things he went through that were hard for him I guess. Long story. He seems to think he will be alone the rest of his life.

I really want a boyfriend though but it doesn't have to be him but I just want someone to love really badly and not just for sex which is actually what I'm least interested in right now but rather an actual relationship.

I'm not even sure I want to spend the rest of my life in this country (USA) so maybe I should just forget about the whole idea of a relationship with anyone if I don't plan to stay here. I want to eventually move to Canada or the UK probably Canada though. They are supposed to be real accepting of gay people in most provinces much more than the US will probably ever be and I like how they are much less wasteful than the average American. I could always change my mind on that though I suppose.

I don't know what will happen right now, maybe I should forget it all and focus all my time on my college work and all.

bisexualtiy? i have two bi friends. u sound like that.

keep holdin out for someone.

If I were you I'd ask myself , "Why not him?".
But that's just me, because I'm intrinsically more attracted to friends than strangers and I just can't understand how it could be (or how it could possibly be better) any other way.

You can't lose by concentrating on college now- you're only 21, you have plenty of time. You're fortunate that you don't feel a driving need for sex right now (where were guys like you when I was in college?) but want to eventually have a meaningful relationship. Don't rush into anything just to ''find out''- trust your instincts, they'll tell you if you're gay, bi or whatever. You sound like someone who has his head on straight- you'll be all right.
Canada does sound pretty attractive, if you can stand the weather.

I am heterosexual, but the similaries between our situations is startling. Like you, I am looking for someone to love, and, like you, not for the sex. I am just so horribly sick of being alone. I don't have any friends like that, but, again, like you, I am not sure I'd like to live here in US for my whole life either, although I think I'd like to move to Japan. The sense of honor that is ingrained in Japanese culture seems to be much higher that that of America, and I like that.

While we do not have the same sexual preferances, we do seem to have a similar situation.

You're not alone out there, something that I am just starting to realize myself. If you ever want to talk, send me a PM.

me too, and I highly recommend chatting to PhR33kY - he's a fantastic guy, and very easy to talk to.

u got to acsept urself

Well I think he might not be interested in me like that. He hasn't seemed to give me any clues recently though maybe a few months ago but that faded away probably because I didn't catch it then, well I did but didn't know how to respond to it so I didn't. Him and I went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show a little while ago though some of his other friends were supposed to go too but then they didn't follow through with it.

I don't think I even know how to tell him that I'm interested in him without like freaking him out or something, though maybe he wouldn't get freaked out by it. He doesn't spend a lot of time with me or anything either so I thought that was more of a clue he wasn't interested but I guess I don't really know how to tell.

i am gay too. ive had three relationships, and aspect of my aspergers have caused problems in these relationships. i sometimes feel that i should be with someone who can relate and also has aspergers, but at the same time i am unsure because i have never actually known anyone else with aspergers in person.

it gets really lonely =(

It's hard. I have had a few serious relationships; however, they all end because of the communication factor and my tendency to be OCPD. It's not that I don't try my hardest to make things work it's just that my ability to communicate is not always right. There is someone who appreciates you for the person you are. It just takes time to let them come out of the wood work. Be strong my friend. You will get through the fears.

Don't move to the UK go to Canada. Britain is still a largely homophobic country.

On the bright side thought in my experience that gay community or scene tends to be an altogether friendlier place then the heterosexual world. Maybe it's something to do with being a minority making you more likely to accept other minorities, but I'm straight and most of my friends have been gay and I feel infinitely more at ease in a gay club than a straight one. Apart from one time when an American marine on shore leave kept coming on to me but that's another thing entirely.

Stay positive and you will find someone eventually

I've known 2 aspies in person so far though they weren't gay. One was a girl and the other a guy whom both went to my highschool but neither of them were interested in anything I was even slightly interested in so I never really became friends with them though that was back when I didn't have any interest in making friends with Aspergers because I didn't know much about it then nor had the interest.

I've never been in a relationship before yet but it will come one day I hope. It's so hard to find anyone that lives nearby though let alone that is also gay.

Mmm, this is an old thread!

Since then I've gone from identifying as asexual to just gay, but still not primarily interested in sex.

Also, for some reason your profile pic reminds me strongly of another autistic gay guy I know from the Internet (never met in real life). He's not a member here though, as far as I know.

I can't stand being gay, I'm just staying with girls from now on, too much shallowness and imamturity within the 'gayworld'

I assume you're bi if "staying with girls" is even a choice.

The feeling a got from your post is your still not comfortable with being who you are. The mention of moving overseas is similar to me (I hold both British and Australian citizenship so it would be easy to move to the EU) but I after spending two months living in Spain I decided that I could not "run away from myself." The same difficulties I had back home with asking people for directions, ordering a drink a bar or trying to make friends still existed in Spain.

I also wanted to mention that I thought I would never be in a relationship but unbelievably I meet an undiagnosed Canadian aspie while doing a working holiday here in Oz. I had the best...lets say three months (needless to say it went downhill after that) of my life. I had finally meet another guy gay who was as quirky, eccentric and peculiar as I. And I just adored his aspie passion for public transit. When ever we caught a train anywhere he would be able to tell the exact make, model and features of the train. The interesting thing about my ex was he too was a "late bloomer." It wasn't until he was 23/24 that he actually starting having sex or seeing guys.

As my close friend and mentor said to me on many occasions..."your going to have many beautiful relationships and meet lots of interesting guys throughout your life."