Is it bad to want to change for her?

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Ok she likes you, and finds you attractive. But you want to approve your appearance further for her. Is this a health attitude to self improvement, or just self-esteem problems and it would be better to be satisfied with how you are now

Depends on what you're doing, and whether it's to please her in particular or just make you feel better about yourself in general. If her interest wanes and she gets another boyfriend, would you stop doing what you're doing?

all sorts of people do it all the time. Perfectly normal. Just don't lose yourself in the process.

Wanting to improve yourself, to make changes on your own, is a healthy part of any relationship and development; having your partner demand things selfishly that are detrimental to your wellbeing is not. Think about that before embarking on your changes, but I don't think wanting to make yourself feel better, or choosing to make yourself more attractive for her, is a terrible things. Good luck.


M.

Basing a attitude on a person makes for a bumpy ride. Your basically putting all your stocks and bonds into Enron then hoping it doesn't fail. If you strive for perfection, or perhaps just want to fit in your pants - you'll have to base it off your own reasons, with her not being one of them. Imagine when you fail, or perhaps strive too hard... resentment, hate... everything comes together and feeds off of trying to be what you are not for another person.

If you want to set goals, set goals - independent of love. Set goals for yourself.... I was told a long time ago that relationships are just 2 people saying "I can put up with you"... Comfort is what that's built upon...

well it was mixed reasons. First reason is my belief one should always strive for perfection BECAUSE its unattainable, thus you will forever improve. But in all honesty the other was to attract the ladies. It was the moment I was told I am perfectly attractive as is, and my immediate thought was "not really I could be alot better" that I began to worry. Its fine to want to be better but if its because one thinks they aren't ok how they are despite being told point blank you are... I know I have self-image problems (nine times out of ten i yell at someone that calls me attractive for lying to me), but doing things strictly for that reason can degenerate into a variety of disorders

I would say that you should be looking after your health in any case by living a healthy lifestyle. Don't be stupid like me and wait till you get to 40 and the doctor starts beating you witha presciption pad. I am not talking going full eastern maniac with your lifestyle, just getting into good habits.

The result would be that you actually feel a lot better. I do not have to kick my own ass out of bed anymore. My confidence levels are up, because I am not so tired. I last much longer in a group of NT's than ever before, because I am not getting tired mentally anymore.

And yes, the nice thing is that I am getting a lot of compliments on my appearance. I do not yell at people for it, because I can see in the morror that they are not lying to me. There is a much bigger benefit to your psyche if you get into a good fitness regime.

The bonus is that the girl will be proud for one more reason to be seen with you. Imagine her telling how good you look....she will blossom.

If it isn't to much trouble to improve yourself then why not. But if it is a big sacrifice to improve youself then I don't think it is a good idea.

I think it's a very good thing.

I assume that you mean, "... improve your appearance..."

It's a healthy attitude, and it shows respect for the woman you love.

Look at it this way; how would you feel about the relationship if after her first "I Love You" she suddenly started dressing and acting slovenly?

Sounds fine to me!
When I first saw the title I thought you were talkin' about goin' from punk to prep and I was like NEVER!