The online me vs the real me

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Online, girls like me.

In real life, girls don't like me.

When it's online and then becomes real life, the girl switch from obviously interested to just friendly liking. Some even admitted deep interest ....but only online.


Like in that party which was attended my coworkers, I asked once my coworker for a dance and she claimed to be tired and her back is hurting, I didn't insist any further. After 5 min, she was asked by another coworker.....and hallelujah! Her back is totally suddenly healed! Now she's jumping on the piste. And there was that other girl , who cut suddenly dancing with me claiming that there's something broking in her heel , after minutes her heel has no problem anymore with the other guy .

Luckily , I ended up dancing with a funny older lady ....and thrice my size.


It seems that the online environment is the only environment where a girl likes me, it's not the case elsewhere.
If I was really that attractive then I wouldn't have any difficulty in finding a gf, yet girls run away from me.

Now there's a local girl that I met online ages ago and showing great interest and she's insisting to meet somewhere lately.

I got tired how this scenario is ending every time (Online: interest --->Once real: wants friendship only).

So I need to figure what goes wrong before venturing into a failed attempt again.

I am wondering what is it? it's the looks? the how my personality is perceived online vs how it's perceived in real? Or the whole online thing is just illusion created by their imaginary expectations and the real me is just ...unattractive?

How one can know?

pre-defense statement against the guru philosophers: No philosophers , I was always indifferent ...showed balanced interest, I am neither desperate nor I show any sign of desperation. And yes,I am a gentleman.

Last edited by LePetitPrince on 19 Jan 2009, 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think you are probably like me. s**t at initiation and noticing probably has more substance later on. Asking people to dance is a pure lottery in these circumstances. There was not threat with the older woman, so you probably didn’t come across as if you cared.

Yes agree the online is NOT real life. However the is one thing that is true. You were noticed. You did not go out of your way to approach people right? You just got on with being you. Therefore you are probably more confident online that real life, and they can tell this.

I, for one, am about 2 orders of magnitude more confident online than in real life... While online, I don't have to guess at hidden meanings behind people's words (or sometimes, lack of words)...

Maybe cause they can't see you online I dunno, I think the other guys who posted are right. Women go for confidence, the person you are on here is probably more like the real you, so just try and be yourself. Don't hold back any words. Then if they don't like you, thats their problem.

No, it's not that at all. Just to clarify , I am not interested in the first girl who rejected the dance at all, neither the 'broken' heel girl...in fact the first girl is taken so I showed no caring or interest further than just ...dance! Yet , she danced with other guy (who's not her bf). Starting a relationship was not across my mind at all.

The reason why I danced with the older woman is because she initiated the suggestion. She was a complete stranger to me too.





Every human is more 'confident' online than real life , it's certain that someone on spectrum would appear much more timid and quiet in real than online. If you mean 'confident' as having faith in my own capabilities then I am quite confident but if you mean confident = socially skillful and smooth talken well then ....I was always HFA, what do you expect?


However, it's not the 'confidence' that the few previous 'online fan girls' admitted to like about me. It was mostly the blunt honesty and depth , and such traits I have online and so in real life.

B- for your analysis equal , but I don't think you revealed the real problem....NEXT!

That’s it, they have already decided. What I said makes sense. Just because one girl is in relationship doesn't mean she doesn't want to dance with someone she prefers. The point is you were approached. Also they might actaully want someone who can dance.

People have crushes in relationship often they just choose not to act on them.


Besides you might as well believe some bs, you are more likely to be confident that way. Obviously it helps if you are less rational in general.

maybe there was just no chemistry between you and those girls IRL. mind you, it doesn't happen too often.

Congrats , you got a 'F' for your analysis. No offenses , those grades are just jokes but seriously .... the "Just be yourself" is one of the lamest advices in the human history, I even made a whole thread about how lame it and it is usually parroted by people who have no idea what else to say.

You are saying "just be the real you" or "be yourself" because you have no idea what's the problem , I might be mistaken but that's usually the case .

I am mean c'mon...what else would I be other than myself in real life? Genghis Khan? Spiderman? or the little smarty blue smurf?

I am what I am.

No no, it's surely not that.....NEXT!

how about George Clooney?

Na, I used to just go into my shell around girls. And me being in my shell isn't the real me. Well ok, maybe you are being yourself, but the girls your trying for are out of your league.

I was only approached by girls I met online. As for my dancing skills, well I suck in dancing , like every guy in the room. Oriental belly dancing doesn't require difficult moves for the guys , you know .




What kind of bs?

Congrats, you've just got a A- for your analysis! I think you're close but it's quite there yet , why girls who showed before chemistry toward me online and via phone ... and that chemistry transformed to just 'interested in just friendship' after knowing them in real life?

ask someone you know in real life for there opinion on what puts girls off you. Make sure it is someone who doesnt like you very much so you can be sure of their honesty.

I had a friend who thought that girls did not like him because he was too nice (not your problem I know ) but in actual fact it was because he had really smelly feet but no one wanted to tell him.

Do you have any irritating mannerisms or tics?

hygene good?

smiling and friendly?

non critical and positive?

Good luck with this girl!

Hmm....the shell thing ....while I am not a turtle nor a snail but yes I do have some kind of shell, I am more emotionally bottled up in real life than online.

And the 'out of my league' , yea ..that might be a good explanation, I always witnessed the general 'league' compatibility among couples (popular guy + popular girl, rich guy + rich or gorgeous girl , poor ugly guy + ugly girl , shy guy + shy girl ....etc) .


Your analysis had increased from F to B+ (you deserve A- but I cheated so you don't beat anna_bannana's score, gender discrimination ...sorry!!)

This is why-

online perception of you:


real you:

The one i've just posted should be an A+ if i'm going up each time

I see a lot on myspace, there will be a model lookalike lady and her boyfriend looks like quazzy modo. I can't work that out