26 Jan 2009, 12:51 pm
... not completely being mean!
I don't know what to do. I go out with guys and I am fine at getting them to like me and stuff but then I always accidently do horrible things without realising it. Such as dumping them so I can go out with someone else and then getting with them again when I have decided I don't like the other guy.
And seriously, why do people get so desperately angry when you send them a text message to break up with them??
My friends were also very surprised when I told them I made out with a guy who I'd been seeing quite regularly recently and then told him immediately after I didn't want a relationship. What is my problem!!?!
ALAS i cannot understand it, I do understand what I should do. I just cannot follow these stupid rules. 
:(
Last edited by rennabella on 26 Jan 2009, 1:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
26 Jan 2009, 1:08 pm
26 Jan 2009, 1:09 pm
Detren
Velociraptor
Joined: 7 Feb 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 410
Location: in the connection between the ansibles
26 Jan 2009, 1:10 pm
26 Jan 2009, 1:15 pm
Detren wrote:
dumping someone is the paramount of saying, "hey, I decided I don't like you or want to hang out with you anymore."
People would rather be "dumped" in person, it's a respect thing. It's like saying, "I don't want to be with you, but I'm willing to do this in person because I respect you."
What it sounds like to me is that you are trying to start casual relationships with people, but THEY think that you are much more involved. They are in the relationship expecting you to be solely with them and to offer them respect by not having another meaningful relationship at the same time. While YOU are meaning, "Hey, you're pretty cool, lets hang out some."
People would rather be "dumped" in person, it's a respect thing. It's like saying, "I don't want to be with you, but I'm willing to do this in person because I respect you."
What it sounds like to me is that you are trying to start casual relationships with people, but THEY think that you are much more involved. They are in the relationship expecting you to be solely with them and to offer them respect by not having another meaningful relationship at the same time. While YOU are meaning, "Hey, you're pretty cool, lets hang out some."
I think that is it!
haha you are so insightful! ^_^ I think I would probably be very unhappy if one of my friends said they didn't want to hang out with me anymore, even more so if I didn't really get to ask why.
How should I make it more obvious that I want to merely have a casual relationship??
26 Jan 2009, 1:24 pm
26 Jan 2009, 1:33 pm
26 Jan 2009, 1:35 pm
26 Jan 2009, 1:42 pm
mitharatowen wrote:
Well.. seems to me like many young men would love a pretty girl to be their friend with benefits. I say just ask and see what happens. Tell them you just want a casual, non-exclusive relationship. Then of course you have no right to be jealous if they see other people in addition to you because those are the terms of your relationship.
I suppose maybe I should just do that next time. And then I will not do things as I did previously!
Thank you very much!
26 Jan 2009, 1:55 pm
26 Jan 2009, 1:59 pm
Kangoogle wrote:
rennabella wrote:
Kangoogle wrote:
Heh, reminds me of my hilarious relationships. If you can call them that, lol...
Alas! Have you managed to sort it out?? :S
I have not really bothered to yet. Being a student lets me get away with it.
Alas, although I am a student I just get people who are angry at me.
And wind up having to avoid people I've never met because they apparently want to punch me.
Which is desperately annoying.
26 Jan 2009, 2:13 pm
26 Jan 2009, 2:19 pm
ToadOfSteel wrote:
It's not the rapid breakups that are an issue... you're of high school age, and high school relationships, at least here in the US, are transitory in nature... The issue is that you're actually being incredibly rude to your partners (according to NT standards) by using text to break up... Yes, it feels normal to us aspies, who deal easier with text communication (which removes all the nuances of all the nonverbal crap), but to NT's it makes you *appear* like a coward (I only say "appear" because NT psychology is more about appearance than substance...)
I think they are fairly transitory here as well. Thus I didn't quite see what the problem was.
It's annoying that people assume I am being rude when I am just trying to simplify things.
NT views are lame, I wish there were more of us and less of them.
We are clearly far more logical in our approach to this sort of thing!
I was worried when I first gancled at your message because you said I was being incredibly rude, but then I saw the bracket and was reassured!
26 Jan 2009, 2:31 pm
rennabella wrote:
Kangoogle wrote:
rennabella wrote:
Kangoogle wrote:
Heh, reminds me of my hilarious relationships. If you can call them that, lol...
Alas! Have you managed to sort it out?? :S
I have not really bothered to yet. Being a student lets me get away with it.
Alas, although I am a student I just get people who are angry at me.
And wind up having to avoid people I've never met because they apparently want to punch me.
Which is desperately annoying.
Wait a few more years until you go to uni. Sleeping around and so on can be a part of the lifestyle.
26 Jan 2009, 2:36 pm
Kangoogle wrote:
rennabella wrote:
Kangoogle wrote:
rennabella wrote:
Kangoogle wrote:
Heh, reminds me of my hilarious relationships. If you can call them that, lol...
Alas! Have you managed to sort it out?? :S
I have not really bothered to yet. Being a student lets me get away with it.
Alas, although I am a student I just get people who are angry at me.
And wind up having to avoid people I've never met because they apparently want to punch me.
Which is desperately annoying.
Wait a few more years until you go to uni. Sleeping around and so on can be a part of the lifestyle.
Thank god! I cannot wait.
Going to uni this sept/oct. so not long now!!
26 Jan 2009, 2:43 pm
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