nt girl and aspie guy

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Well I did have another post regarding our relationship but it got kinda bombarded by some other discussions/arguements.

Anyway.

Me and this guy have been getting along great as friends, and talked all week long everynight online or text, and a bit in person when we saw eachother. But the other night we were online chatting about random stuff and he is suddenly like....

"so i was wondering if i intrest you"

I say " what? intrest you?"
Basically he was asking if I liked him....i didn't say no, but i said i wasn't sure yet if i thought of him more than a friend, and to be honest i do think him as bf material and i was too afraid to say it...i wouldn't have been able to face him the next day in person if i said something.

I want him to know i like him...but i don't want it to be a formal "will you be my gf" kind of thing. i just want it to fall into place, with a kiss or something.

help? and please, no major discussions...(i don't mind a few but last time it was too much)

Well, how about give him a little kiss then? Just on the cheek, so it's not too startling. Then let that sink in for a day or so and see what happens.
(I had a relationship start this way, and it was great.)

the problem is....getting him alone. we are always in a situation where it would be hard to do that.

Persuade him to come to an event of some sort where you can get away with it. Or do it more publicly - its not like you have anything at all to be ashamed of!

Maybe she's ashamed that she likes an Aspie guy.

That is kind of what I was thinking - kind of why I said she shouldn't be. There are plenty of girls who fancy me ffs, some who actually attempt to chat me up lol.

Kind of a shame that I don't go further than the one nighter I guess.

ohk i'm not ashamed, and most people don't know he has aspergers...its that we are both shy people and i'm a teenager...and this would be at a school event. its just akaward.

Is there no way to take him to one side. How old are you guys (just wondering on the basis of what opportunities you could have to take him aside!)

17 ... he is hard to talk to sometimes but i do like him and i'm going to try and get him aside to talk for a while maybe tomorrow, when we are waiting outside after the game.

Hmm, you might be of the age where you can sneak him along to a club type event (if he will go of course). Failing that, you could discretely invite him somewhere...

I don't know it might be a challenge though...

I manage to "accidentally" meet people quite often, despite having an entire city to do it in. If things become difficult there is the last resort option of finding out his daily plan then finding a place to ambush him, so to speak.

If he's an aspie, that might be difficult to pull off. I know that "falling into place" thing sounds romantic, but it requires something your aspie friend (potential boyfriend, perhaps?) might be lacking: reading subtle social cues. So the formal way might work out best for both of you: you'll get an honest answer, and there won't be any ambiguity for him.

I suggest going about it something like this. When you and him are sitting in a quiet restaurant, try to steer the conversation topic toward dating/relationships in general. Then come out and say: "I've been thinking. We see each other often, and we usually have a fun time. What do you think if we tried dating romantically, like boyfriend and girlfriend?" Emphasize the dating part more than the bf/gf part, so that you won't inadvertently scare him off with an "instant relationship". As a general tip, don't use the question "how do you feel about me?", and preferably, stay away from the word "feel" the best you can. (Trust me, I'm an aspie too, and that word makes me uncomfortable.) Wait for his response, and go from there. Be prepared that he might not be very enthusiastic, not because he doesn't want it, but because it might be shocking news to him. If he agrees, have a brief discussion about what will change as a result, but don't spend too much time dwelling on it. Next time you two go out, do that "falling into place with a kiss" thing that you mentioned; or just go ahead and kiss him, if he doesn't seem to he catching on.

For a more wild alternative, try something like this. First, make sure your aspie friend feels comfortable with dancing. Go to a place where there is dancing. Dancing can be as classy or as sexual as you make it, so use that to your advantage. First, sit somewhere and talk about topics he enjoys. Then when you both feel ready to dance, go to the dance floor. Dance closer than you normally would, and do it in a flirty, slightly sexual way (from my experience, most NT women have no problem knowing how to do this). When the dance gets going, plant a big kiss on him. Then go on about your night just having fun. Kiss him again later during the night, just drive the point home. During the next few days, have a conversation with him like I described in the previous paragraph. If you're above the drinking age where you live, this option should go a lot more easily.

thanks! i might try the dancing thing lol
and we are only 16/17 so drinking isn't an option...
and to make things harder, i've only been kissed once and he hasn't ever had a gf(which is only because he is an aspie because to be honest he is really attractive)

If you go dancing, find a place that is both a bit more low-key and without too many people, since increasing either the number of people or the wildness of the setting will exponentially increase the chance for emotional overload...

It is legal with your parents permission (i.e. them supplying the alcohol) afaik...