Tips for Aspie Guys {in honor of Valentine's Day}

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http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singl ... ting-world

To sort-of repeat what this guy said,
1.} I have no time to go to the gym.
Most of the time, I am stuck in classes or in a cubicle
inside the library, finishing/starting homework.
And my current vices are vending machine snacks and $2 coffee.

2.} I am a guy who DOES brush my teeth, shower, use deodorant,
and lift the seat when I urinate. Approximately 67%of guys do all of what I
just said. So fellow Aspie guys, do you do any of what I just said?

#2 fits me perfectly.

I'm one who brushes my teeth and showers every day, but I don't hit the gym because everybody just looks at me funny over there... during the summer I will go out and attempt to run, though...

I'm secluded like #1 but I'm not a workaholic. As for #, I brush my teeth like every two days, lol, shower every night before a school day, put on deodorant before I go to school or if I start smelling myself on weekends, and I lift up the seat in people's houses but most public bathrooms aren't worth it because they have it all over them usually anyway. And yes, I do use stalls to do that, I still stand up but I get privacy vs using a stupid urinal.

I thought everyone brushed their teeth, showered and used deoderant. Come on guys! It's basic hygiene!

I was in shape once. Every day: Two sets of like 25 push ups and 50 sit ups, then two sets of 10 on different weight equipment. A mile run every night. Kept it up for months. But a disappointing result on a fitness exam ended it all.
There's a girl I fancy who I might have a chance with now. Impressing her would make it well worth it to exercise, but I'm more worried about things like body language (I haven't even been thinking about it) and sufficient sleep right now.

You would be surprised... and it's not just among aspies...

I'm one who brushes my teeth and showers every day, but I don't hit the gym because everybody just looks at me funny over there... during the summer I will go out and attempt to run, though...
Tim_Tex
PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 7:28 pm

Yeah, with you there. I'm completely self-conscious at any fitness place, and not just because I'm very overweight. I'm overweight because of bad eating habits and not enough exercise. I feel I can't exercise in front of other people without displaying my enormous lack of coordination or skill. I hate making an even bigger fool of myself. I solve this problem usually by making myself chances for good brisk walks outside, or using the treadmill.

I do the toothbrush, shave, then shower, all in the morning right before getting dressed. I find that a shower is incredibly stimulating mentally and emotionally, and I generally feel much better. Some combination of warmth, steam, and cleanliness seem to be the holy trifecta.

Of course, I'd be on top of my weight if I could get myself organized, do an exercise chart and meal/snack chart - but I'm also hugely ADD. No kidding, I get an idea in my head, go online, forget what I'm going online for. This is an example of what happens to me all day.

Okay, so let's stay on topic - women in general have some minimum expectations - be clean, reasonably well dressed in matching clothes (www.askmen.com is great on tips for this and other dating matters), have a sense of humor. Try to stay in shape, and work on yourself. Make it an every day thing.

All of this is difficult to start with - I know, it took me "forever". By the way, when you do find some one who you can feel comfortable with, all of this stops feeling like work, and instead something you want to do FOR HER.

Just my 2 cents.
Warren

Thanks for attributing it to the correct poster...





I find that since I switched my shower from at night to the morning (now that I actually don't have to be out the door at 6:30 am like I used to for high school and the first year of college), it has been far more stimulating than it used to be...


I have the opposite problem: I'm hugely OCD. Ironically enough, it works towards the same ends as in your case... with me, if food is set in front of me, I just have to finish it... and when I actually do go and exercise, I tend to overwork myself since I just don't know how to stop... one time after I worked out I couldn't even get out of bed the next morning, that's how much pain I was in...

Most of those traits except the last one I already retain. Lets see here...
-Clean? check...
-Reasonably well-dressed? Well, if she can put up with the witticisms on my t-shirts (which are usually nerdy in nature, not those "I'm with stupid"-types), I'll be fine... although I do have a bunch of polo shirts and a couple dress outfits (and one suit) should the need to "dress up" arise...
-Sense of humor? Umm, I don't know... let me get back to you on that one...
-Which just leaves the fact that I'm a fatass...


No doubt, but since I find it very unlikely that I'll find a "her" to do it for, I don't know if I'll ever get that far...

I need to do the most work on #4. I hope to hell that the government bails out GM.(relevant to my work field)

You work for GM?

Yeah, I'd like to see them bail out GM (and the other two of the Big Three) as well, but only on contingent that the CEOs of all three companies immediately resign...

Very true, much better than Just Be yourself advice.

He should added:

#6 Learn to drive and own a car.
You'll need that in order to answer the question:" When you are going to pick me up?"

I shower, shave, ect at least once a day. But I don't go to the gym for one big reason.

Back in college I had to take a class that showed different ways to be healthy. One session we were taught how to do a work out at the college gym. We learned how to use the equipment and all that. The next day I felt sore all over my body. It went away after a couple of day. But I was like 'why do I want to go back to the gym and be in pain after my workouts?' That really turned me off from the whole work out thing. I can't understand why people would keep going to the gym and enjoy being in pain all the time.

I am OC over washing my hands, showering/washing my hair,
and other forms of cleanliness.

Shaving? I do that once a week and shave other spots I missed later.

Reasonably well-dressed? Check.
I think I have a knack for wearing nothing but solid-colored
shirts that match my pants, although I really need to buy new shoes.

Hey toad, glad to hear from you again. Of course, I want to attribute to you correctly, dude.

"Well-dressed" is something I should have clarified. This phrase is coming from a guy who confesses to wearing the same pair of (very clean) pants for several days, though is religious about changing everything else. "But the pants are comfortable, boss!"
Don't be too self-conscious about the silly t-shirts, if someone finds them endearing then she may be your type. I only suggest avoiding anything that seems anti-social, condescending, prejudicial. People can be very sensitive, and that can be a turnoff.

Being a "fatass" is something you can change. I could change, too, if I could get my act together.

Thanks for being honest about the painful workouts. I'm a bit of an unconfessed wimp regarding pain, and I have a hard time motivating myself largely because of it. And being overweight makes exercise that much harder.

I suggest channeling your OCD demons into your eating habits. That is, charting your food intake, calories, fat etc. If you could lose weight slowly (healthy loss is avg 2 lbs/week) you will find yourself more interested in being active and will have more energy to be active.

Best of luck, you sound like a guy who deserves it.

Don't worry about it, I was just bustin your chops...


I'm the same way (although I will change slacks/dress pants each time I need to wear them, I will wear the same pair of jeans over about a week or so...)


I'm not that worried about the t-shirts (they say things like "Math illiteracy affects 7 out of every 5 people" and "E = Fb: Musician's Theory of Relativity" and other nerd-related things)... it's just that it's not the kind of thing you would expect someone a bit more mature to keep wearing...


Well, I've found that I can maintain a good walking pace (about 4.5 mph on average)... and that's not even even breaking much of a sweat, although increasing just 1 more mph in speed will tire me out in about 3 minutes...


Unfortunately, the compulsive overeating kicks in bigtime when I'm going through overly emotional phases... I had kept my weight off for 6 months, and recently I put 5 pounds on because I was going through a rather tough phase related to being completely alone (i.e. all my friends got girlfriends within about 3 months of each other and I didn't...)


Thanks... it's nice to know that someone still cares that I'm carrying on in life...

I also hate the gym, way too many people. I did manage to drop 18 kilo's (36 lbs) by cycling though. I cycle at 4:45 am when there are almost no people out, just people I cycle with. I also have a set route, which means I do not push myself beyond what I can do.

It is just an option for those of you who do not like the gym. My one cycle buddy is very overweight, and he manages, so weight is not a big issue. Suggestion though, if you want to try cycling and you are overweight, get a mountain bike or a hybrid.

My hygiene is of a high standard, I will shower twice or three times if I am doing something that makes me perspire or if I start feeling sticky. I will never get to the point where I can smell myself. I brush, groom, clean when needed. I compulsively keep my hands clean, but can handle them being dirty if I am working on something that makes them dirty.

BTW, since shedding the weight, I am way more confident in myself, and the health benefits are exceptional!