so um.. when do we become official?

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aaronrey
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16 Feb 2009, 4:16 am

how many dates do we have to go to before we officially become bf/gf?

BellaDonna
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16 Feb 2009, 5:10 am

aaronrey wrote:

how many dates do we have to go to before we officially become bf/gf?

You can become bf/gf before you even date - if you decide to.

atari2600a
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16 Feb 2009, 5:13 am

BellaDonna wrote:

aaronrey wrote:

how many dates do we have to go to before we officially become bf/gf?

You can become bf/gf before you even date - if you decide to.

I believe where he was going at was what is the defining point of a newborn rationship? I'm somewhat interested in what people have to say about this, being a failure in this subject & all...

BellaDonna
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16 Feb 2009, 5:18 am

atari2600a wrote:

BellaDonna wrote:

aaronrey wrote:

how many dates do we have to go to before we officially become bf/gf?

You can become bf/gf before you even date - if you decide to.

I believe where he was going at was what is the defining point of a newborn rationship? I'm somewhat interested in what people have to say about this, being a failure in this subject & all...

I don't know. I had a bf that kept going are we bf and gf - it like we are because we have had sex. It really got on my nerves and i just said "okay" to shut him up.

Other relationships we have become a couple with out it being said - that can be dangerous especially if you don't realise your official and you go back to your x a couple of times.

With my new relationship - it started off reallly good and then with an argument. Then we were just friends. Strangely we are still together and have had sex and he bought me a valentines gift so I am confused myself. He said "He said he just wants to take it slow."

That is just all I know. I hope it helps.

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16 Feb 2009, 11:47 am

aaronrey wrote:

how many dates do we have to go to before we officially become bf/gf?

There are of course so many variables but my advice is don't measure it in terms of just how many dates (because the definition of a "date" may be unclear) but how frequently you spend time together over a period of time, like 2-3 months and how often you communicate via IM, email, phone, smoke signal, whatever.

LILI
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17 Feb 2009, 9:31 am

I think it becomes official when it is clear it is an exclusive relationship, with no one still dating others on the side. It could become official from the start or after months of dating. Confusing......I have misunderstood situations too many times, now I simply enjoy being alone.

drowbot0181
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17 Feb 2009, 11:38 am

In the NT world, there is not such thing as "official" when it comes to non-marital relationships. You will be given vague statements about being exclusive to make sure that YOU stay faithful, but the truth is that your partner will always have "backups".

Relicanth7
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17 Feb 2009, 2:15 pm

drowbot0181 wrote:

So... In the AS world when dose it become "offcial"?

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drowbot0181
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17 Feb 2009, 2:24 pm

Relicanth7 wrote:

drowbot0181 wrote:

So... In the AS world when dose it become "offcial"?

No idea. I've never met an AS girl. If both partners were AS, I would imagine it would be quite simple. Just ask.

Tuttle
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17 Feb 2009, 3:32 pm

LILI wrote:

See, I don't agree with this. I started dating my boyfriend while he was still dating someone else. It was not an exclusive relationship, but that said nothing less about being a relationship, it was just a polyamorous relationship.

For me and my boyfriend, it was the point where we kissed. About a week after his other girlfriend at the time asked if she could call us that, we looked at each other and shrugged and the words started being used.

Words don't mean much themselves, but I'd say it is dependent on how you interact with each other. For me it is very clearly connected to kissing.

MissConstrue
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17 Feb 2009, 3:37 pm

aaronrey wrote:

how many dates do we have to go to before we officially become bf/gf?

The answere my friend is blown' in the wind.

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drowbot0181
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17 Feb 2009, 3:49 pm

I personally don't think you can ever really trust anybody to be faithful/exclusive in a relationship. I know I've never seen such a thing. But maybe I'm just bitter.

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18 Feb 2009, 11:57 pm

aaronrey wrote:

how many dates do we have to go to before we officially become bf/gf?

Don't assume that you are until there's a discussion about it.

Can you provide a few more details, like how long it's been, etc.

Is this an NT or AS woman? While I can only speak for myself, if I say it's exclusive that's how I feel and I have no back-ups, it means I'm ready for a commitment.

juliekitty
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19 Feb 2009, 12:00 am

When the two of you agree that you are.

billsmithglendale
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19 Feb 2009, 12:56 pm

No set time, it really depends on the people involved. It's probably something you should bring up though -- if you're both officially exclusive, and your GF or BF is comfortable with the label, then there you are. I've been in an official relationship before we even had our first date.

aaronrey
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19 Feb 2009, 1:31 pm

we cleared it up between us. thanks tho

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