Mayday! Mayday!

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Ok, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming to the situation room on such short notice. Here's a crisis for you to solve. A few weeks back I meet these two girls at a theatre conference (for security reasons I will refer to them as C and K). We talked to each other a bit during the con, and afterwards we kept in touch via text message. At about 1600 CST this afternoon, I recieved a text from K saying "Do you like C?" I answered "As a friend, yes. Why, does she like me?" K replied "Yes she does. Do you like her?" I replied "I enjoy being her friend but I've never had a gf before and I don't really know what to do." K replied "Are you going to ask her out?" She suggested a few movies in town. I replied "Maybe", and mere seconds after I completed that trasmission, with impeccable timing that defies the belief that she wasn't eavesdropping, C called. We got to talking and completely out of the blue I asked her if she wanted to see Friday the 13th next Friday. She said she would like to see a movie but wasn't sure if she wanted to see the aforementioned film because she doesn't really like horror films (and this particular one concerns Jason), and that she would definitely want to go see a movie but she would decide which one. Neither of us mentioned the word "date" (she reffered to the event as "hanging out") but unless I am way off track here this is definitely a date.

Now that you are somewhat familiar with the situation:

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAALP!! !! !! !! !

MAYDAY! MAYDAY! S-O-M*****F******-S!! ! I've never been on a date before and I have no f*****g clue what to expect or what to do! Please advise, over!

Roxas

ok calm down. i think you two should try it out, ask her to pick the movie, as long as it isn't a chick flick, and "hang out" don't make it a date and put the pressure on. be friends first, then try something more if you two are comfertable.

make it fun, don't over think it. she will probably be nervous too. explain to her your situation if you feel it would help.
good luck, keep us updated

Just relax & have fun. As my mom used to tell me, "treat her like a queen". What could go wrong? (Don't answer that if you have an overactive imagination.)
It sounds like your in a pretty fortunate spot. You should be celebrating, not fretting. I let too many opportunities like that pass me by in my teen years because I got too nervous to make my move. (Now in college it's a headache, but that's a whole nother story.)

You go to the movie (let her pick. If it's a 'chick flic', earn points by watching it without complaint. Treat it as an object lesson in how women would like to think things are; or as what they may see as a goal of romance. Take knowledge where you find it). Depending on the time of night (or day), dinner might be in order. Play it cool, follow her lead.

If she seems to like it, maybe schedule another date. If you say you'll call, CALL! Many women will talk, and you don't want a reputation as a 'guy who won't call'.

Past that, it's your experience. Good luck.

Expectations are your enemy here, I believe. It really appears that she has interest in you, and you've done the right thing by being direct and taking the risk. Have fun, ask questions, allow for things to ebb and flow - don't place demands on the tempo of conversation or interaction. The more you worry, the more time you'll spend in your head instead of spending time with her. Be easy on yourself, and take care.


M.

I will not use the term "date". (A lie, I did so earlier this evening to describe an event that is almost certainly not a date, just eerily similar. After all, I do have an image to create and maintain.) Try to stick to some simple rules:

1. Going out is not necessarily a date.
2. Since it is not necessarily a date, it is not an invitation to participate in physically intimate activities.
3. Since you may not be invited to be physically intimate, focus on enjoying the evening and making the evening enjoyable for the other person.
4. Enjoyable evenings may lead to actual dates (whatever that means) or physical intimacy.

One final note: generally, it is not unusual to have never had a girlfriend at your age. Nor is it unusual to have never gone out (on a date). I am 29 and have never been on what I consider a date. Oh yes, I've gone out on what could be considered first dates. I have also gone out under vague auspices. I was even married for a few years. "Dating" is too nebulous a concept to worry about.

Just whatever you do, don't freak out and cancel/make things awkward!!

On the two dates I have been on this has happened. First one my cousins teased me (goodnaturedly) about it, and I freaked out and said I was ill and kept putting it off until he gave up. Second one I way over thought it and had this whole serious conversation where I said I was only attracted to his as a friend blah blah blah (which I now realize was completely unnecessary, made things unBELIEVABLY awkward, and we never saw each other again).

Best advice I can give you: TREAT IT AS AN OUTING WITH A FRIEND. Seriously, if you do that, then the worst/most awkward thing that can happen is you not getting along/being bored by each other. There is nothing more painful or awkward than putting your foot in it and overanalyzing the whole situation like I did.

And if you happen to be attracted to each other, then don't try to force anything, just wait and let her make the first move. That way, you won't screw it up (as I know that we aspies are 10* more likely to screw up our cues).

That all being said, don't let me be a downer, and good luck!