Being "friend zoned"

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Has anybody else here ever mistaken friendliness as signals that a girl likes you? How do you feel once you get suckered in, waiting for months to make your move, only to find out she viewed you nothing more than a friend? The friend zone is apparently impossible to escape. Am I doomed to be single until the day I die?

Simple Answer: Yes

Long Answer: Defiently Yes

If you dont like this reply nad i could help you

dude you can't wait to make the move or that's where you'll end up.

This isn't necessarily the same as the "friend zone", as I understand it. From what you're saying it's possible that she never thought of you as more than a friend and you just completely misread her from day one. Which would be understandable, it happens to us all.

I have a hard time imagining this "friend zone", but presently I don't feel in any position to dispute it. Easier for me to imagine would be that girls may like you and then get tired of your lack of apparent reciprocation and come to like someone else more, or just not like you enough as a love interest to begin with.

Sometimes not waiting to make that move can be disastrous as well. There was one girl I had some interest in, and I decided to make an early move, much earlier than the month or so (at least) I would usually wait, and called her. To date, I have not creeped anyone else out as much in my life...

Hector: I think that you hit the nail on the head. From what she said it sounds like she never had any feelings for me ever. Hopefully I've learnt a lesson to distinguish girls who find you attractive from those who just like to play around in order to be friendly. I think it's time to forgive myself and move on. Maybe one day I'll meet a girl who actually does care about me.

Never mistaken, just ignored.
I made the move anyway, and she (obviously) said that she only wanted to be friends... It sucked anyway.
No, find a girl (or guy, whatever you like, this is a peptalk to anyone who reads it) that has those kind of feelings from the begining.

Friend Zone sounds like a good name for a Kid's TV show.

Welcome to the Friend Zone! We put the play in playdate!

Well, that's easier said than done. It's just best knowing that there exist girls who seem interested in you but actually do not want a relationship with you. Nobody can tell for sure whether their attraction is reciprocated by the other person from the outset, as evidenced by all the heartbreak that the great majority of people go through. So let the girls you like know how you feel with low expectations.

It's happened to me a lot that guys think I'm interested in them when I'm not. It's just being friendly, and a lot of girls in their teens may not realize they are sending the wrong signals. But it's still a good thing, and a lot of relationships start out as friendships, especially when you're young.

Almost all men, NT or AS or whatever, mistake friendliness for interest. It's the way we're wired. Don't sweat it, because we're no worse off on this score than anyone else.

The difference between friendliness and romantic/sexual interest is very subtle. Women as a gender also tend to be more friendlier than men. This makes it almost impossible at times for AS males to tell the difference This may be another reason why so many of us AS males have trouble initiating with women. We can't tell when we are supposed to initiate which often causes us to do nothing instead.

It's very confusing to me because at times it really did seem like she was flirting. She denied ever liking me and said we'd never be anything more than friends. And I asked her to be honest and she claimed she was, though it was not in person. NT's tend to be disingenuous. I guess though it will be interesting to see what the future has in store. There's a valentines party coming up I intend to go to, and there should be plenty of single girls there looking for a date.

i am an NT and work with an Aspie high school student so i'm reading up here to try and gain some kinda insight into him via WP...if that's possible. Let me say this, not as an NT, but as a 46 year old woman who has had numerous relationships, a few marriages, etc...

In general (not always true), love relationships cause pain, drama, confusion, and chaos. Romantic relationships (usually) do not last. Friendship, however, is more lasting, more honest, more equal.

If you are stuck in the friend zone, it's a safer place to be and you will likely be friends with the person you feel romantic about, long after all his/her current love interests have come and gone.

I hope that makes sense. If it's sex you're after, please remember that sex is not love and love is not sex. It's great if/when they gel but in my experience, break up pain is far worse than any joy or pleasure that came from a love-interest.

So, please don't think you're missing out on something so fantastic. Love/sex stuff is more pain than pleasure for most young folks (under 35).

I love my platonic friends (or my friend-zone) friends more deeply than I could love any fly-by-night love interest. We have more trust between us.

They say you should break the friendship zone quickly. Waiting for months could be your downfall.

But yeah sometimes friendliness can be mistaken as signals.

I'm actually not after sex (although I would accept it if that is the natural course of events in a relationship)... What I'm after is physically intimate, however... not necessarily having to take one's clothes off, but I am a fan of snuggling (don't laugh)... something that mere friends can't provide...