flirting... what signs to look for in women anyone?

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well, a lot of what Ive seen on here is the nice guy arguments and such, but Ive got an honest question that if answered may help a lot of us aspie males who have no honest clue as to how to tell if women are interested/flirting. So any volunteered info would be helpful.

You can find a lot by googling it, I found this:

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_fi ... _likes_you

I can't say for sure myself. The girl I like, I sometimes find looks at me really quickly and then looks away when I look at her. Other times, we'll catch each others glance for a good amount of time. I still feel like a stalker now though since I rarely initiate conversation anymore, and she doesn't either so we just look at each other in the hallways and lunchroom all the time.

i am starting to think it all depends on age and lifestyle as well though. Stupid NTs and their nonverbal communication.

but really, i think school age people and once your out of school things change a bit. I am not quite sure yet. Hopefully we can compile more info into this thread to help eachother out though.

A lot of the "signs" on the WikiAnswers article read to me more like "I feel comfortable with you" or even sometimes "I don't feel particularly uncomfortable with you" rather than flirting. I've taken these "signs" as read before and found that said girls were in very serious long-term relationships or just not into me, they only happened to not particularly dislike me either.

...when they look you in the eye and smile...

And of course, learn the difference between a real smile and a fake smile. I've been fake smile'd quite a few times.

When I flirt I look the boy deep in the eye and show him my cutest smile and sometimes I play whit my hair......hi hi

Not that I'm an expert or anything, but I have noticed the following:

*They want to be close to you, or find ways to touch you. Unless they are just the friendly, touchy-feely or attention seeking type that does this to everyone, this is usually a good sign that they like you in one way or another.

*They go out of their way or change their plans to see you.

*They are friendly and receptive, and their smile is genuine.

*They give you an extra long gaze, or track your movements with their eyes.


I think the "I feel comfortable with you thing" is a really good indicator that a couple is compatible on some level or another. Generally, I would say, the more comfortable you are around them, or the more at ease you feel, the more compatible you are. When you meet someone that you are uncertain about, or they give you some sort of bad vibe or negative feeling, this usually means they are not very compatible, or they might be unhealthy for you...trust your instincts.

Last edited by SilverStar on 08 Feb 2009, 10:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well I agree that people have to be comfortable with each-other, it appears to be a necessary condition for starting a healthy relationship. I just find that in general it is not a sufficient one.

Damn, I think I've been getting that lately. I just haven't noticed.

Does it count if they smile right after they look at you?

A genuine smile happens naturally and effortlessly, whereas a fake one looks forced. Being able to read body language well, tells you so much more about a person than what comes out of their mouths. They might lie, or try to hide something, but their body language doesn't.

I have this problem something terrible.
In the past, I've had a girl give me her number and me, being what I am, said both to myself and to her, "ok, well, I'll call you next time I'm going to a get together in Mexican town." what an idiot. (ended up dating her for a little while, but the rest is a long very un-NTstory)
Then at the store the other day, my friend notified me that the checkout girl was digging my style and asked why didn't I say anything besides, "hey I don't need that bagged"?

This thread is great.

Be carefull with the "aftersmile", theymight think you are ammusing.

flirting does not happen at work, so i will say from my experience at the tavern (pub) where i eat my dinner.

this is pertinent to girls who you have already met:

you can tell they like you when they get angry that they can not come back to your place.
you can tell they like you when they keep touching you for no apparent reason.
you can tell they like you when they become interested in the weave of the carpet that you are studying.
you can tell they like you when you mutter some observation to yourself and they must know what you said.

this is pertinent to girls that you have not yet met:

you can tell they like you even from across the room. you see their face facing in your direction most of the time, and they seem disengaged from their own social scene and more interested to look over at what you are doing even when you are just writing.

you can tell they like you when you can hear every word they say when they are at another table. they talk louder than is required to converse with their table mates, and they also angle their voices in your direction.

i can tell they would like to meet me in so many ways. mainly, their attention is on me, and it makes me uncomfortable because i think "oh no!! ! a social chore is looming".

Amused that I'm acting kind of stalkerish?

I'm not sure this is a good example as it implys comfortableness and confidence - I would think normally if a girl is into a guy they'd be nervous in his presence and avoid looking him in the eyes too long (a good example of this is what someone said about the girl watching them, then quickly looking away if he turns to look at her)