in theory...

Post Reply New Topic

This one is for the ladies, but guys feel free to comment...

Basically, the idea is: If I knew and/or met you in real life and asked you out, would you accept? I'm trying to figure out if asking random strangers out indiscriminately (as some of the self-appointed "gurus" here are advocating) is really a good idea or not, and is it something that is viable for someone like me who literally can't feel attraction to someone without knowing her...

No, I am imagining you as a lady and I honestly tell you that your weight is a turn-off (I saw your body's pic...sorry)

I voted you're out of my age range, and I'm married. But the thing that I'm stuck on is asking out a stranger. Even I wouldn't do that and I've been known to be adventurous before my social phobia's got the best of me.

Ignore the comment about your weight. I've dated guys twice your size and it was never a weight factor. It's always been about personality for me. Having something in common with him, things to talk about, being comfortable being around him and saying something or nothing at all.

Like you, I have to know someone well before I would ask them out or go out with them.

I would not accept if any stranger asked me out. I have to know someone first.

I voted "I would need to know more"

If I were female, you and I would already be married.

Even in the most whirlwind relationships people need at least a short "What's yer name, What are you into?" conversation before being asked out. To just walk up to a total stranger and ask them out only happens in the movies. That kind of behavior in real life is considered extremely creepy, like sitting in a car and offering candy to passing children.

It depends on the setting. Some places are better than others for saying "Hi, I noticed you noticing me how 'bout we go get some coffee sometime."

Because they're complete strangers the risk of having the rejection be embarrassing every time you see that person is low. So I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. Unless your wallet is sensitive.

I'm in a relationship -- is this hypothetical, as in, if I weren't in one?

I think that's what he was implying.

I don't care what the "love gurus" say, asking out random people is just stupid. You have no idea what they're like, or what they're involved in.

That's what I keep saying, but the "gurus" seem to think that I should be able to ask out 12 girls in one month...

Sure, if it doesn't work you just need to keep trying.

Like opening walnuts with a feather.

I wouldn't walk right up to a complete stranger and ask them out without chatting with them a bit. It would make you seem desperate and kinda creepy.

The best way would be to find a girl that is friendly and receptive to you, get to know her a little while, then go from there. You may or may not get a date this way, but at least you will have a better chance.

Firstly, an insular attitude like that will get you nowhere, although I can understand where you're coming from. Secondly, we're not suggesting you should ask them to a movie as your first part of the conversation, we're saying talk to them for a while and ask them out based on the early stages.

And as I say to everyone, if it doens't work out, so what? Big wup. You dust yourself off and move on. The only thing that's GUARANTEED not to work is doing nothing.

Right. Well, Toad, post a video, because it's impossible to say over a forum in text. Maybe if we texted for a while over messenger I could tell better. But if we're talking about in person, I wouldn't be able to tell without reading your mannerisms. That means I can't vote yet. You could always PM me a video if you want it private.

In my view, people who say things like "just walk up to a cute girl and ask her out" are passing over all sorts of nuances that may have to be pointed out in this forum. It is very much possible to get a girl's number and possible interest after one conversation, but it has to be a really good conversation.