Love Shy

Post Reply New Topic

I was wondering how many Love Shy people are here. It is estimated that 40% of people with this "disorder" also have AS.
Here is a site where you can take the test. http://www.love-shy.com/

I would probably count as "love shy," but I'm skeptical of Dr. Gilmartin's theories. Some of the things he said struck me as being a little misogynist (ie: women get a lot of blame for the love-shy-guy's problems.)

That was one depressing test
i scored....never mind - not worth
mentioning

the score system sucks


You Scored 68

These are the typical scores for some groups of men

Self-Confidant Non-Shy Men: 114.3
Healthy College Males: 103.9
Young(University) Love-Shy Men: 47.8
Older Love-Shy Men: 38.6


I think it's low.

Now i`m really depressed, 68? and you think its low..
i`m never taking any type of test again i think,
they get me down 3 out of 5 times

I can't seem to get the test to load; it just throws a javascript error in Firefox. I'm sure I'd be way on the low end though as I'm 35 and have had only one gf in my life and that one for only six months.

Wikipedia has alot to say in concern to criticism about Gilmartin's concepts

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_shyne ... s_writings

I strongly believe I have love shyness, it just seems to gel with my experience with love and relationships. Although the one thing that doesn't fit is that I love rock music, and hate musicals.

im shy and I like shy girls

I HATE AGRRESSIVE PEOPLE ESPECIALYL WOMEN MAJOR TURN OFF

Nothing more passive than caps lock.
Anyway, this sounds like bosh to me. I can't put my finger on why, which means I cannot be bothered to defend or justify my beliefs. But still.

I'm fond of your positive attitude and wisdom, Magnus, so I thought I'd take the courtesy of replying to this discussion, something you have done for my discussion topics several times.

What you described as "love-shy", I saw the criteria and it is uncanny how well I fit the description. I may be malcontented and dissapointed that girls don't notice/care for me, and in my anger and desperation, I may rant and rave about it, but I am human too. Angry people/embittered people do the things they do because of insecurities they feel, be it a lack of self worth or confidence, to things like phobias and irrational fears. Perhaps "malcontent" should be changed to love-shy, since that is what everyone wants and needs, love. But even though malcontent is negative in connotation, it describes my dissatisfaction and I will hold onto the title until proven otherwise.

Thanks for the compliment and I agree that there is a spectrum for this too.

I didn't want anyone to get depressed, it's not a bad thing to be LS.

The reason why I mentioned Dr. Gilmartin and Love-Shyness is that some people may find it helpful.

Try Avoidant Personality Disorder...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_p ... y_disorder

This is a little more scientifically sound than Love-shyness, and isn't exclusive to only heterosexual males either. Also, many of the symptoms are co-morbid with AS (I think I might have it too...)

his studies of love-shyness were based on men only, therefore on the homepage it should also say in the criteria/symptoms "you are a male".

I actually got a 99 which is funny to me because I'm a pretty shy and anxious person most of the time, I guess this is a specific thing though and yeah try to never let a good thing pass you by...some of those though that I put "1" on I would have found an alternate way to initiate the conversation to eliminate the barriers that I have that other people do not, plan ahead a little but still act quick. I really don't have problems talking to women at all, men I do. For some reason I always end up in the Friend Zone, like in another thread, because well, I'm really not much of a typical male, then again I try NOT to be, I don't get along with men, and almost all of my friends are female, my two roomates are. Since I have a history of this and know this, I think I act a little bit too quickly when I know someone is perfectly compatible...even though I know exactly what kind of person works for me and that I that I can work with them and give a lot to, pretty quickly, I must still feel like a total stranger or just a friend to them, and acting too quickly can get you off on the wrong foot permanently it seems. This whole game thing just doesn't work for me.

I also see the "business" end of it though, which I would never mention out loud so early, but its in my head when I hear one of them that I really like complaining about bills, gas, living situation, having to take a 2nd part time job to save up for whatever, not having enough time to relax, and you get the "My life is too crazy right now for anything serious" line...i just think...do you not realize if it worked out I can make all of that would go away? Sorry for the long paragraph!!

I didn't even take the test, but, I already know that I am "love shy". I've been through circumstances in my life that have left me unable to trust anyone. So, attractive or not, I tend to steer clear of relationships, and probably will remain single, indefinitely, unless I break this pattern. The good thing is......I'm working on it.