How do i talk to women?

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Hello all, this is my first post, i was diagnosed with aspergers about 4 years ago. I have been fighting it ever since. I am now 20, and i am starting to have to contend with feelings aswell. I want to share my experiences with someone, but i cant ever pluck up the courage to talk to women. When i get thrust in the direction by my friends, I just blurt out the information liek i was being interrogated. Please help. I dont feel confrotable in socail gatherings, but am lonely on my own.

Welcome to WP.
Have you considered talking to men for a while instead? You'll probably find them much easier to talk to as there's no "potential relationship" to ruin by offloading your feelings.

The secret to my success was to find social situations where I wouldn't be the weirdest person present. Back in the early 90's when we were all using dialup modems to call bulletin boards, I found one full of geeks where the SysOp was an absolute nut-case. He used to throw house parties about 4 times a year, and eventually I started going to them. I resolved myself to meeting at least one other user with whom I'd been corresponding, and that meeting sort of "anchored" the party for me so no matter what else happened I knew why I was there. It all worked out pretty good in the end. It really drew me out of my shell and at age 25 I made my second true close friend (the first was in school).

Yes I understand what you mean. I find it hard to relate to people and am often lonely on my own.

Perhaps you could start by just meeting new people as friends? Male and female.

I have alot of male friends, but they are like me, attached to their computers, when we are at the pub, we all talk shop, whether literally about the retail store i work at, or our home rigs. Most of my life my computer has been my friend, it never pokes fun, or worse attacks me. However, i have never met a woman who shares such a deep interest in computers. I have a hard time concentrating on trivial tasks like learning pop stars names, or watching the soap operas. I think basically i am short on 'small talk' but i cant keep my mind on rubbish like MTV or Eastenders for more then 2 minutes before i feel the need to check my emails, or my torrents.

Have you tried rescuing a woman from a burning building? Or a girl who is tied to some train tracks? That sort of thing usually works for me.

Even climbing a tree to get their kitten down is a good start.

they really do speak an alien language.

Firstly, stop trying to fight it.
Secondly, get an NT friend who can introduce you to other people. Relations are good for this purpose. Let them get to know you as you usually are, in the presence of someone they like. Its the "cool by association" trick. Stay quiet, throw in a witty remark, ask lots of questions. Casually asking lots of questions about another person is a good way of getting people to like you. Always turn the conversation back to the other person, and you can't go far wrong. Just don't ask the wrong questions(very personal questions).

This is good advice. You also want to make sure you make sure not to get put in the friend zone because once you're there its harder for the girl to see you as a "potential mate." Making a compliment about her looks will help you with this but you also have to do flirtation and the witty things can be about how pretty she is.

Now, the flirtation stuff is important. you can do this by making eye contact with the girl but holding the eye contact longer than a normal person would when they're just looking at a friend. There are other flirtation tricks for the eyes which include winking at her but I don't use that one very much.

arggg, you kno how hard it is to hold eye contact with anyone new, heh ive recentally shocked myself by relising that I was accually able to hold eye contact with my professor, ummm... provided he wasnt looking back direct at me

I've never really noticed myself having an issue with eye contact, but have you tried wearing sunglasses? Would that help?

And a jacket like Neo in the matrix. Not just hides your eyes, but makes you look really cool

Yeah and then you become a walking cliche.

You walk up to them and then open your mouth and expel gases from your lungs so that it passes through your voacl cords and makes some coherent sound.

It is hard for me to talk to women also. Especially maintaining eye contact with them.

Show genuine interest. Talk to them at appropriate times. Don't interrupt them when they are obviously busy. AND stop worrying about saying the wrong thing. Stop wearing your &*&%$#@ anxiety on your sleeve!!

The more you do it, the easier it gets. Tell yourself that at least a couple of times a week, you will try to talk to some chick.

Jerry Newport

Don't talk with your mouth full, and don't spit. These rules apply equally well when talking to other creatures too.