Dating problem

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It is 11:50 PM here in Chicago, IL. I'm sitting here drinking a small glass of wine, and I'm not sure what to do. I don't have many people to interact with at the moment. I have friends on AIM, but most of them are not responding, or are not signed on.

I am kind of feeling a bit on the blue side. See, there is this girl who works at my school's library. She is very nice and always smiles and says hi to me whenever I'm at the library, and she is actually the only girl who does that, or who has EVER done that. My problem is that I want to ask her out on a date, but I'm not sure when the right time for that is. My directness and social forthrightness has ALWAYS been a turn off in my past failed attempts to date someone. So I'm not sure about exactly HOW I should ask her out. Usually there is a bit of conversation between the male and female before the male asks her out. I don't know what I should say or how I should approach her.

Can someone give me some advice on this?

Ask her for a book recommendation... then ask her out for coffee to talk about it. Or just ask directly to have dinner and a walk some night, or even take her down to the Green Door for a drink or two. Some people are put off by it, others intrigued, when you are direct - but you can't base her reaction off of those in your past. Take a chance!


M.

I like the book recommendation idea.

she is just being nice and friendly to everyone. i was fooled by smiling charismatic women at the library too. but if you ask her out she will freak out and think you are stalking her. as an aspergers man you can NOT tell if she likes you or not. you are probably mistaking friendliness for romance but this does not mean that you cannot stop by and chat with her about books you like and jobs in the library. best thing is to print out a business card with your name and phone number and email. you can just casually hand it to her and say that if she ever wants to go out for a cup of coffee after work she should feel free to call contact. chances are she is an NT woman who is just friendly to people. but it could also be that she a temporary worker who would be interested in going out with. if she does not call you back, forget it. DO NOT PUSH IT. jeff

absolutely - there's plenty of nice girls working in temp library positions who are looking to meet someone. but as an aspie you have to be extra careful because you won't know when you've crossed that line between appropriate and inappropriate.

Never pull in the library - just dont. Its the worst place to try it. Find out what else she does and accidentally show up to it.

i think Abstract_Logic should go talk to this girl and tell us how it went. we are all intrigued.

let me share the most embarrassing stories about my life so you do not feel bad about your situation.

i once tried to pick up an asian woman by asking her to write how to say "i love you" on a piece of paper. five minutes later i realized this was totally random and extremely embarassing and inappropriate. needless to say i never tried to pick up a woman ever again.

when i was in high school this NT girl introduced herself to me and said that she liked me. she had two girlfriends on left and right and she just stood staring at me and her friends were saying "jeff, she likes you, you should dance with her." that was really embarassing too cuz she probably thought i was NT (being wide shouldered and tall for my age) and then she said that i am a funny person. i felt very ridiculed at the time.

i think we should have a private males only forum to discuss embarrassing pick up/dating attempts. the females on this forum would freak out and misunderstand us males if we really get all that dating stuff out there.