WTF?

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"idk, what i wanted to say was i really like u and want to be with u."

"you're awesome, and all my friends think you're really cool, they have been telling me to say something to u for a while"

"that's just what i was thinking, so i guess we'll just take it slow and see what happens."


What would the above text messages lead you to believe?


They came from a guy I work with. I've known him off and on for several years now, and since he got me hired at Spencer's we've grown rather close... at least, I thought.

It's times like these I hate being socially clueless. The subject of our, erm, 'crushes' on eachother was discussed that night and that night only, via text message. Okay, I thought it was kinda cute that he was too shy to talk about it in person. Whatever. I was too. But the few times we've hung out since then have been the same as before. No progress has been made, nor has it been attempted. So for the past few days I've been planning on stepping up and having a talk with him.

PROBLEM!

He's been blowing me off.

I don't understand why! For example, on Wednesday we were both off work, so he had planned for us to have lunch in the afternoon, and then we were going out to his grandparents' farm to spend the evening. When I contacted him that afternoon, he said he was busy working on a car. I guess he was working on the car all evening. He texted me around 11 p.m. asking how my day had been.

I figured I should let it slide... he had mentioned he had a bad memory, and maybe he was really actually busy.

The next day he was supposed to call me, and never did.

TODAY we worked together. As soon as he walked into the store he invited me over for tonight, talking about how his friends were going to be over and whatnot. He said he wanted me to partake in their fun-having, and that he wanted me to meet a few people. WELL, he never got in touch with me when he got off work, and me being the socially inept person I am, did not know whether the fact that I had already 'technically' been invited meant that I should wait on a phone call, or just go on over. IN CONFUSION, I texted him myself, not even bringing it up, but just asking if he had enjoyed the food I took to him after I got off work (yeah... unappreciative
much? ). He basically said something along the lines of "Well, I have to get up early tomorrow, I was just kinda planning on getting baked and going to bed, LOL."



I... took... him... DINNER!

I guess I'm just getting mixed signals here. Has he just changed his mind that fast, or is it nothing that I'm overreacting about? He still acts like a gentleman around me, and far as I know, everyone he talks to is under the impression that there's still something going on between us. I need help.

X 1,000,000

It's extremely hard to know what's really going on here from an internet person's perspective, when I know neither of you whatsoever. But, basically, he sounds confused himself, and not all that with it. Really, that's what it seems to come down to. If you want clear answers, even if he were honest, he probably wouldn't be able to tell you because he himself may not know at all.

There's, of course, the question of how he was brought up, what he's like, that sort of thing. I think a lot of people on here assume that 'everyone else,' particularly NTs, have it down socially to a T. Yeah...no. They don't, plain and simple. I meet so many awkward, weird, socially inept people on a regular basis that I've never bothered to keep count. It sounds like this guy just fits into dysfunctional society.

Your best bet is to be completely honest with him yourself, even if you're afraid of chasing him off. Try not to come off too strong on him when you do, that's all, and maybe try to curb any bitterness you may feel. Just tell him how you feel, that you're confused, and that you feel it's time for some real answers. The problem is I get the feeling he probably won't have any real answers for you, as I said. I could be completely off the mark.

Get him to be your boyfriend officially.

He's probably leading you on just to be polite. Some people are not honest in "relationships" or he's more socially inept than you are.

I would bring this up to him otherwise don't waste your time.

While I could understand not having good memory, it sounds like he's doing this quite frequently.

Rejections happen a lot in the dating world so don't take it personal if it turns out he isn't interested in you.

Sounds like he's a pothead to me. Everything always sounds fine and dandy until he gets stoned, then the plans change, and then he would rather be alone, even if it means breaking plans. Sounds like typical pot paranoia to me. Or did I misread "baked" completely wrong?

^Makes me think of that song...*Because I got High*

i'm 46 and still clueless.

i'm hanging with the cat and the dog from now on...

He's an idiot and a flake -- don't count on anything from this guy, and move on.

Oh not that song!..."I was gonna make love to you...but then i got high" ?

He sounds like the perfect gentleman to me.

Seriously, Captain Smokesalot needs to know that it ain't cool to be screwing with your emotions like that. Bring it up to his face or he's going to keep blowing you off.

Thanks everyone for the feedback, I really do appreciate it.

Sounds like he's a pothead to me. Everything always sounds fine and dandy until he gets stoned, then the plans change, and then he would rather be alone, even if it means breaking plans. Sounds like typical pot paranoia to me.

well... maybe he really does like you? I agree that it sounds like he has a drug problem (a.k.a: pothead) but you really should talk to him about everything - even if it's awkward to bring up, if you just leave it things will fall apart

also: if you take my advice and things do end up falling to pieces I am now telling you I don't date and am not good with others but am using logic to (hopefully) help you