I Don't Consider Fidelity So Early On

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Going out with someone from speeddating for the second time, I also have a friend up north, Liz, who I go and see few times a year as she lives so far away, and the situation is a little complicated. Generally I am single anyway and completely unattached.A friends/workmates mention issues of fidelity, when I as talking about my dating situation. The same issue got brought up another time where I was dating two woman who was not my girlfriend.

It would be absurd to consider fidelity so early on, considering that I don’t really have a girl-friend at this stage. I feel like these rule apply more to those who can consider themselves an item. I think that rule of fidelity get pressed so much is because so many do not honour it.

You're right Chav. Dating is meeting people and hanging out. If you get to the point that you are very serious about persuing one person then fidelity would probably be more important to the situation. There are many stereotypes attached to appropriateness in dating situations, but a lot of them aren't realistic to many people's lives.

Yeah, probably very true of dating. I still don't know if I'd agree about having sex with multiple partners at once, but certainly spending time with them all to see who fits isn't a terrible idea, if you're dating.

But, that's why I never dated, and never would. It's not for me, and if I find someone, the fidelity isn't even called into question. If we click, we try it, no one else needs to be involved unless it doesn't work out.

Then again, I am of the 'fairier sex,' so this could have more bearing on my bent.

sounds like something that should be discussed by the both of your (whomever that eventually is..., because it should be a mutual decision.

hope it works out.

My favorite thought is," if men was generally like me, issues of fidelity would not have been brought up"

I'm not sure what you mean there. From the woman's perspective, I can't speak for every lady. But for myself, if the man is like me, then, no, fidelity wouldn't get brought up. That's what helps make a viable pairing, when two people have the same goal in mind.

It's ok to not consider fidelity if that's not what you're looking for. I've found most people don't really mean to push you into anything; they just ask you token questions.

The order of love life progression is:

meeting people
dating
committed relationship
marriage
kids

If you discuss yourself being in one stage, it's cultural protocol for the person you're discussing your love life to to ask you about prospects for the next. These questions are not meant to be taken seriously; it's just what NTs do to convey interest.