How I overcame my depression.

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I used to be a complete romantic sop. I still am in some ways. Eventually, I began to understand what makes people tick. Looking into their motives, I understand what it is that drives them, and that opens up to me just how shallow people are.

Some are different. Some are people like us. Keep an eye out for them, but don't expect them. It helps to become apathetic. Once I quit caring about the world, how it felt, what it thought about me, I was happier. I'm perfectly fine sitting alone as long as I can find something to obsess about.

And that's my point. Find a past or current obsession that could lead somewhere desirable, and take it full circle. Run with it, engross yourself in it, and quit worrying about the world. If you worry about the world, that worry will become an impenetrable cage which the world will sit outside taunting you from.

If you have an obsession with cars, tune that into designing something custom. If you have an obsession with games, look into ways to create them, or start writing detailed reviews. If you have any obsessions that could lead somewhere productive, turn it that way and dive in. If you can forget about the world, and churn out works of genius over and over again, you'll be happier in the end.

It was at that point I overcame depression too. Good advise.

I'm afraid saying "quit worrying" won't make someone stop worrying.

This sounds more like compensatory measures and not a way to treat the underlying problem, and a popular one, at that. It works, yes, and I've actually seen many people try this, but in the end they seemed to suffer. That is the problem with compensation. My mom's boyfriend does this, and she's in a shedload of denial about a lot of things. As I just said in another thread on here, it has nearly destroyed my boyfriend's life, especially since he learned it.

Everyone makes their own choices, but I want to throw a little counterbalance in this thread, too.

This is a good strategy. "underlying problem" is essentially bs most of the time. The real underlying problem is that clinical depression is a chemical change in the brain, which is why different people in the same situation will react differently. So it is not always good to try and rationalise depression. It is the depression itself that makes you think you are a twerp and have "underlying problems", so you could make it worse that way.

Yes depression can be triggered. This isn't always the case and sometime even if it is, if the trigger is over with then there is no point digging it up.

Similar with anxiety too.

Clinical depression=biochemical

Whatever is up with your bf doesn't necessarily have anything to do with this guy. He never said he has "issues". I mean who doesn't really, but that needn't be relevant.

Also if he is in denial, how do you know he is not better off that way?

Everyone works in a very similar fashion. Bringing my boyfriend into it illustrates a possibility.

As to your second question, everything I've ever seen points to denial being an often unsuccessful compensation that leads to depression, anxiety, and other problems. It's a good way to deal in the moment, but when it becomes chronic, other problems seem to appear. I've even seen similar behaviours in other animals, so it's not specific to humans. Compensation doesn't generally indicate the problem is solved.

If anyone wants to do this, go ahead. I'm not stopping you. But I suggest thinking of other possibilities first, or the possible adverse effects of the choice.

Attention: Sorry to be the bringer of bad news, but you are not nearly depressed enough for my liking! You must think long and hard and wallow in the s**t hole that is your life. Don't try to get away from the depression as that would be 'compensating'. There is reason why you are depressed, you deserve to be that way, it is your fault so you must accept it

evidence?

It is also possible that another persons neurosis will rub people up the wrong way. People with generalised anxiety can concern themselves with things that are not to do with them, because they don't feel secure in themselves the feel the need to control everything even if it is none of their business.



Evidence? It is you that is claiming he is compensating for something. In fact he is: his depression, and why shouldn't he? He his dealing with the problem at hand not some fantasy idea of the problem, which is actually a symptom of the depression itself. You are projecting your boyfriend’s issues here. Besides I don’t claim his depression is over. Depression is often a lifelong thing, but he is being conscientious and minimising its effects. You seem to think it will magically disappear if is some how deals with imaginary “underlying issues”.

You fail to realise how often you are in denial and delusional. It is normal human behaviour and not necessarily bad, however it renders your assumed intuition on the subject flawed, as you are a human and like everyone you are not exempt from self influence.

Clinical depression is chemical difference, not all people are depressed because something happened to them. That is a big assumption.

How I overcame my depression. For me easy I found Aspergers and started to understand self....

That’s good asplanet, that is what I mean coming to terms with your self.

Depression is a predisposition. I have never had clinical depression. I have good reason to have depression though, but the fact is I don't. However some people with less reason to be depressed are very depressed. I recognise the depression is an illness onto itself. Especially clinical depression. Situational depression maybe not, however you should be careful about getting drawn into the kind of thinking that is symptomatic of the depression itself. It is true of many things like anxiety.

Can you re-word that, please?

This is much more what I'm talking about. Understanding yourself is a huge move toward finding out how to really improve depression, in my opinion and experience. I really like that.



Yes, there is evidence, even in your cognitive behavioural therapy. I looked it up. Maybe you haven't read enough, or maybe you're misunderstanding me. There is an underlying cause, and it seems the OP isn't all that unaware of it. There's a trigger or cause for many behaviours, humans included, and I've seen dogs become depressed after a series of events to trigger it. It's simple, it's chemical, and I'm not deluded about that.

My point is that there may be better ways of dealing with depression than "f**k the world, ignore everyone". Do you think this is a healthy move? Because it sounds like a potentially damaging compensation to me. Compensation does not fix the problem, it simply deals with it temporarily, and that may not help in the long run. This, too, is simple. Denying emotions does not mean healthy things will occur, it often seems to build up. I go through this myself. You may not have perspective since you seem to suffer from alexithymia, which does that for you. For people who have more emotions, to deny is to cause problems. You want evidence, look it up, and show me something contrary if you want to prove me wrong. I've dealt with enough people in experiences to see it myself, and no science can prove or disprove it at this point, can it?

Self awareness, emotionally, physically, wholly, and eventually accepting what's going on are often the only ways to defeat problematic responses to stimuli, do you not agree with that? So, I wanted to counter the "f**k the world" attitude with nudging the other way, "that may not be a good idea". That's all I did, 0, and you've obviously got a hate hard-on for me for your own personal, undealt with issues, but you're going to have to accept it. Your resentment issues don't help anyone. And in case you want evidence of your resentment issues (you said you're not aware of your own emotions -- thus, I render most of your input on people's emotional issues invalid at this point):



You've resorted to passive aggressive attacks.

Yes behaviour can be cause by thing the key word is trigger. Trigger is like a catalyst. That means as time passes the original trigger may no longer be relevant. If the trigger no longer plays are part in the behaviour cycle then there is no point is going back to it, in fact it can make things worse. This is the consensus in CBT. There is a fundamental difference between existing trigger and the concept of 'root' cause which is archaic. Behaviours are more dynamic than that, ever evolving.


Err who said this? Certainly not the op, this is your assumption. He is merely come up with a way to get through his depression. Distraction is actually a fundamental technique in CBT, one of the most effective tools. It doesn't mean that you drop all responsibility. However what is important is your wellbeing and happiness, if you have got that cover you aren't doing too bad.

You are lumping learnt behaviour with clinical depression. I happen to have a close friend with clinical depression and has psychotic episodes sometimes. My cousin is also schizophrenic. Are you seriously suggesting that they should come up with some imaginary explanation for this? The rational explanation is that there is a chemical change in the brain. In fact they know this because from functional scans, looking at dopamine levels, etc. I find it ironic that it is you that is telling others they could be damaging.

The guy has had some success with his depression. You seem to be unaware that clinical depression has no known cure, and he unlikely to single handily come up with it. People often have it all their life. It makes people who they are. This strategy is working for him now, you should be congratulating him.


Yes, but is not telling anything we don’t already know. The fact of the matter is you have to get through certain things, be it learn behaviour or depressive episodes. Distraction can work wonders with negative thought patterns, it has done for me.


Actually it is sarcasm, and pretty overt sarcasm at that. Passive aggressive would be like peeing in your coffee. I have been clear where I disagree with you. I don't mince my words, and I feel strongly on this issue. I responded to what I believed would be negative and discouraging to the op.

The term 'passive aggressive' has it roots in the Vietnam war, and what Army doctors called soldiers who didn't want to obey orders but also didn't want to be directly or overtly disobedient. Especially as a response to 'fraging' attacks. However it is not a clear cut thing or a pathology, in that context, as with any, everybody has their limitations.

Explanations for passive aggressive behaviour are things like resentment and jealously, physical and mental exhaustion, fear, and being made to do things you are fundamentally opposed to, etc.

I can try.

Basically without going into too much detail, there things in my life that give me a very uncertain future and in practice stuck between a rock and a hard place. It is the sort of thing that could make someone very depressed, bed riddenly so quite possibly. However I am not predisposed to depression, it not in my character. I get anxiety but not depression. In fact my emotions are quite blunted. Hope that helps.

Some people with depression their main problem is the depression itself. If it wasn't for the depression they wouldn't be held back, but I recognise that depression can be a serious problem in its own right. I have good friends with it.

If you had read a bit more carefully, you would understand I said there are good people out there. The world itself, yes, it can go to hell, but there are good people out there I would go out of my way to help.

In fact, these issues of isolation as a coping mechanism seem to be irrelevant in relationships when they do come along. When I have someone I can trust enough to let them that close, I'm keen to turn to them for comfort instead of isolating myself as a coping mechanism.

My point was that in learning to understand myself, I still didn't have the complete picture. I saw nothing wrong with who I was. When I focused on understanding others, and their motives, I became jaded to a great majority of the species and realized I didn't want to be a part of that. I realized I could be happy alone if I found something to occupy myself. If someone comes along, great, if not, that's fine too.

The point isn't to avoid everyone alive, but to become apathetic to what they think and feel about me. Since then I've been more confident, happier, and surprisingly I'm noticing a lot of romantic signals that I see no point in acting on, at least for the present time. The world seems more like a game to me than anything, now that I'm confident I know how it works.

Well, I read it over a few times and it still wasn't quite clear to me, so it wasn't that I was skimming. I get your point now. All I can say is that if it works, it works. But I just like to caution that it may not be good to fall on any one single way to cope, though you may have gone through a lot of attempts. Really, that's all.

People are certainly difficult to deal with, though, and it is one big game out there. I've been realizing how scant empathic responses are in the general population recently. It's disheartening, but sometimes playing the game can be fun for me. Whatever works, as I said. Having a good grasp of the big picture is a huge plus.