Prostitutes

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I am wondering if any other Aspies in the forum also have a penchant for prostitutes. (Note: prostitution is legal in Rhode Island and Nevada. When I say "prostitute" I am talking about legitimate sex workers, as they are called, not street-walkers.)

4 out of the 5 women I have been with were prostitutes. I really only feel comfortable around them. With a prostitute, you don't have to worry about the social mores that are such issues with Aspies. You can talk about anything you want, including any "special interests", and they won't look at you funny. They also don't lead you on and give false signals. What you see is what you get.

I only feel comfortable around prostitutes. The hurt and rejection has been so compounded that at this point by non-prostitutes (a term I generally use in the same way we often use "neurotypical") that I will really only talk to them. In a social setting, I don't even bother talking to women anymore.

I think the best way to sum it up is that in my experience, a non-prostitute will take your money and your heart, whereas a prostitute will only take your money.

I am not trying to say anything derogatory, but that is just the way my life experience has been.

This isn't really the way I want it to be, but it's the way it is, and I have come to accept it.

This should be in the adult section.

i didnt know prostitution was legal anywhere in the u.s.... is it really?

I disagree with you Mitharatowen, DMark has raised some very important issues that in my mind cry out to be talked about and reflected upon in the main section.

I also do not feel that what was raised was in any way offensive for the younger members to hear. (I speak as a father)

The issue of sexuality is awkward for most people to talk about, being on the spectrum and talking about ones human needs and desires should be welcomed.

I think DMark's honesty and courage in sharing with us his pain is moving and inspiring.


DMark in response to your question to us



"I am wondering if any other Aspies in the forum also have a penchant for prostitutes."



I can never say I have been attracted to prostitutes, as my desire is always for a woman to desire my soul (failing that my body) and not my money.

However, I know many men in the spectrum, who like myself, crave to be loved, and form healthy loving relationships. However, the pain and loneliness of failure can take us all to the brink of desolation. Many of us aspies turn to oppressive religious systems or groups, or go the other way, and dive into internet porn or prostitutes. So when you say




This isn't really the way I want it to be, but it's the way it is, and I have come to accept it.


I can understand. However, I feel that when we loose our hope in finding healthy love relationships (most importantly with ourselves), we loose our humanity, and become so vulnerable to people and institutions that can only offer us a painful compromise in our search for love and to be truly ourselves.

The following community (see website at bottom of page) has helped me with re my sexuality, check it out. Try not to be put off by the tittle Sex and love addicts anaon because the flip side of 'acting out sexuality' is sexual anorexia, and fast amounts of us aspies suffer with this.

I welcome people PMing me on this stuff.

Peace to you DMark, and every other aspie out there struggling with their sexuality.

Chris




http://www.slaafws.org/

I was going to write "whatever works for you - I'm glad you found something that works for you!", but after reading criss' well-thought-out post it seems so trite

I do still stick by the sentiment, however - as long as you're not risking being arrested, whatever works for you seems fine to me. You wouldn't have posted, though, if you were content with this behavior, so maybe criss' advice is best - we don't know how often you go to to see these 4 or 5 women.

I'm sorry you've experienced so much rejection. You'll probably go back for more after taking a break, though - that's how it has worked in my life, I've taken about a year off after every attempt at dating, before I've felt like trying again.

Yeah, this should be in adult section. But to answer this thread, I would never degrade myself to those women. I'd want sex for love if I ever do it or I'd at least like to know the person well enough. You don't know what they could be carrying either since their strangers. You better protect yourself because the risk of VD is there.

I'd never pay a whore. I'd rather be alone;)
I'd also rather try and get a real girlfriend. Still no success...

I find the stigma about prostitution a result of our society and it isn't inherantly degrading or wrong. I think its wrong to be forced into such a thing or because you have low self worth, but that goes for any proffession. But off of that aspect

I have had sex with one woman, recently, and for the first time, and on a purely physical level it wasn't really better. Only thing to me that made it worthwhile was the spiritual aspect. Being that close, sharing that with someone, thats what I enjoyed, and enjoyed quite alot. I cant help but think that would be lost on a prostitute or any other random woman

Well, jerkin' off gets old after a while, and if there were decent (clean)prostitutes around for a decent price, I'm sure I would have checked out their "services" by now. I don't see it as being much different than masturbation, because the woman is nothing more than a tool that you will use, and that's it, no connection, no nothing. When it's over, it's over.

As you can tell, I have thought about it before, but I live in PA so it will never happen. But, that is my opinion on the matter.

Have never had any experience with this, i need more then
the mechanics of it, that gives me nothing at all, but i do
understand it works for others.

edit---
i trailed off topic so i edited it down

I have no issues with Prostitution or guys/girls using them -- IMHO, it should be legalized in all States and monitored for safe practices. It's a waste of police resources to arrest those patronizing them or selling themselves.

Personally, I probably would never use one, for two reasons --
A) I'm cheap, and would rather spend the money on something more permanent, and just take care of myself if I were that hard off (literally).
B) If I have sex, I want that person to want me as much as I want them. Even watching pornos, I can always tell the prostitutes from the porn stars, and believe me, there is a difference. Prostitutes always seem so bored, so business-like, so "ok, let's get this over with and onto the next customer), while porno folks at least know how to act semi-decently.

With so many people out there looking for something, I don't think I should have to pay anyone -- somewhere, someone will want to have sex with me, and this has been proven multiple times over my lifetime.

I do not judge those who use them -- I would much rather you guys get the sexual release and be happy, rather than descend into depression, or force yourself on someone. I think a lot less rapes and sex crimes would occur nationwide if prostitution was legal and accepted in more places as an acceptable outlet for neglected or unfulfilled individuals.

To each his own.