how to get her number??? i need your help

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Ok guys, i need some advice. there is this girl that i really like. i want to get to know her, take her out etc.
i know her through a mate. i see her everycouple of weeks or so at the club.

so, what would be the best way to get her number? ive added her on facebook. would it be appropriate to pm her and ask?

I hate to sound sarcastic, but asking her for it would be the best move. In person is better than via PM.

I think if you ask her right away she might freak out. It's better to make small talk and find out if she is single or not. Then you could invite her somewhere in a subtle way. And if she shows any interest, you can let her know that she could send you her number if she wanted.

just give her YOUR number. if you're nervous about rejection, print out some cool "business cards" on your computer with your phone and email info and give her one. casually...and say "i'd love to hang out with you sometime...if you want to" and see if she calls you or not. having your info pre-printed on business cards makes it seem like you're friendly and sociable and looking to network for friends/community as opposed to writing it on a napkin in a bar which implies more of a "date" request.

Just don't forget that there is no sure way to get her to go out with you and be ready to accept it if she isn't interested.

Does she have her number on facebook? I know that some people do, since your an aspie, I wonder if you have thought of looking there. I sometimes think that NT males are less able to notice things. Just the other day I was reading the wall of one of my friends on facebook that i know from church. A guy wrote on her facebook that he wanted her number again cause he lost it and it was on her info page.

Asking her out in person is by far your best bet, but if you don't see her enough you should start speaking to her on facebook chat, a pm asking for her number out of the blue may be risky.

Just say "Hey, you want to go do something next week? Ok, how can I get ahold of you?" --- there you have the number.

I agree with Space, warface, Learning2Survive, JohnHopkins. Small talking and getting to know her interests (so that you can ask her out to do something she actually likes) is the part and parcel of the thing.

What always worked for me... Is draw her into a conversation that she's enjoying (about her shoes, her studies, football team whatever). And then out blue pretend that you are busy and have to go. As you leave say "BTW what's your number? Might call you sometime."

thanks for the advice guys.
i think im just going to have to risk the rejection and go for it, rejection just scares the s**t out of me.

Maverick, let me ask you a question: WHY does rejection scare you? What actually happens? Nothing. You get turned down, that's it. You move on. That's the way I looked at it. Once you stop fearing rejection your dating game will improve immediately.

it hurts to be rejected. te thought of not being good enough. ive been rejected by people my whole life. probably started when getting picked on as a kid.
you are right though, what difference does one more rejection mean. not much really

Exactly. I was rejected and picked on my whole life too, and at the end of the day it starts to hurt less with each one and you can learn lessons each time if you're lucky.

A friend of mine let me borrow some CDs by a dating guru named David DeAngelo a few years ago. I listened to them out of curiosity, and the advice he gave seemed pretty sound. This was before I knew about Asperger's and I never tried it myself, but it worked for my friend. What he said to do (and this is what my friend does/did) was after talking with her for a few minutes, ask if she has email. Don't ask for her address, but just ask if she has it. After all, who doesn't have email and she probably won't want to sound like a Luddite (even if she doesn't know what it is) so she'll say yes. Pass her a piece of paper (David recommended carrying some business cards or something with you) and tell her to write it down. While she's writing it, tell her to write down her phone number as well. Obviously you'll have to tweak it a little depending on the situation, but I was amazed at how many dates my friend got by doing that.