Question About Looks

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I am not too concerned about looks. (I did get lucky and married a really, really hot guy, though!) I have dated very, very ugly guys and I don't know why, but it was their strange looks that attracted me. I was involved with a guy in high school who looked exactly like the lead singer of The Cars. I was intensely interested in him.

Another odd trait: I know when a guy is hot but I don't care. It doesn't impress me in the least. Other women will be like, "Oh my God!! Did you see that guy?! He is sooo hot!" and I'll be like, "Yeah, so?" I can mentally acknowlege that he's hot, but it doesn't affect me emotionally nor physically.

Is this weird?

Does anyone else think this way?

Does anyone have any other insights to add?

I'm not picky about looks at all. Being an aspie and never having had a girlfriend, insisting on dating a good-looking girl just seems unreasonable, if not completely ridiculous. My looks and my social skills are not that great, so I'd be only wasting time and effort. Sure, I sometimes idly fantasize about "hot cheerleader types", but it's just that: a fantasy. My goal in real life, however, is to find a girl in the same league as me. This'll work out much better for me and the girl. And as an added bonus, there will be fewer guys trying to steal her away.

Is this just for AS people, or can anyone join?

Extremely.

The person has to be attractive in my eyes or its a no-go.

Yes, I'm like this! Actually, I was discussing this with my friend recently, we both tend to not see good-looking guys as "hot", as we both connect "hot" with someone who is muscley and shows their body off in magizines Not quite that stereotypical, but we both see "hot" as the body of someone, and just that. But then we connect someone good-looking with the whole package, from body shape to face and everything. So whenever someone says "Oh look at that hot guy over there" I'm not that interested, but if they refer to this person as "the good-looking guy over there" I'll be more attentive. Although, even then it's not usually going to affect me in any way. I think the only time it does affect me a little is when I see someone when I'm alone and because I have nothing to distract me I start forming ideas about this person in my head and it continues like that.

ditto

Vote: Somewhat important. I'd have to be attracted to someone to some degree. However, if I get attracted to the mind, attraction to the body may increase quite a bit from the original amount, so it's relative.

The last person I fell in love with I was not attracted to her at all. But as I got to know her she became beautiful in my eyes.

Redvelvet wrote: Is this just for AS people, or can anyone join?


Don't be ridiculous! Of course, you can. I'm holding my breath to see what you will say!!


(Let's keep segregation where it belongs-in the past.)

Jman wrote: The last person I fell in love with I was not attracted to her at all. But as I got to know her she became beautiful in my eyes.


I'm impressed, Jman. A guy that has depth when it comes to relationships. A rare commodity.
Funny how when you place a high value on someone, they become more and more precious to you, regardless of their looks.

Another thread was posted like this and I said I was attracted to the eyes.
But I am a sucker for male hormones and I like men much older then me, I can smell them in the next room.
But joking aside I like to see a handsome man, but I'm not attracted to him.
When I see a man pushing a pram, or caring for children that are decently turned out, this is a big turn on. Or a man in a clean shirt and smart trousers, wearing Old Spice after shave. lol
Looks are not that important, but the way he carrys himself and the way he behaves is what I think is important.

i don't particularly go for the devestatingly attactive cos i've found some peeps like that tend to be a bit vacent, but the one this they do have to have is the ability to smile and mean it, like the song by 'the killers' 'smile like you mean it' i want someone to smile at me and for it to shine in their eyes!

The way someone looks helps but is not a deciding factor for me because I'm not that shallow. Its personality that I find much more important. Someone can be as good looking as they like but if they annoy the hell out of me or are shallow I don't want to know them. I feel that people actually do have feelings and should not be treated as trophies or trash based solely on how they look.

It's only somewhat important for me. They have to look good enough that you don't get scared everytime you wake up with them.

If you go out with someone you must find them attractive, or you wouldn't bother.

I doubt anyone would want a relationship with someone they shudder to look at.

Ditto.