How would she react? (watercolor project)

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I have a crush on this tall girl from class (college), who I'm on mildly friendly terms with.
Over spring break, I learned how to use watercolor pencils and brushes by drawing from a photo reference of her.



I lack some technique since I'm still learning. Some differences from the photo are deliberate,
like the narrower neck, and larger eyes.

Tomorrow, I plan to show her the drawing/painting, and ask her if she wants to grab lunch or something,
but I don't know how she'll react, so I have two questions for you the reader:

1: On principal, how would you react if you someone you barely knew showed you a picture they drew of you?
Would that be flattering or creepy? Does the amount of work suggest that I'm obsessed?

2: On quality, how do you react? Is this wall-worthy, or just a scrap? How can I improve it?

I posted these questions on the Deviant Art forum, and most ppl said it was creepy,
so I'm posting it here, where I'm right at home among cookey creeps who understand
why I must occasionally resort to unorthodox methods of expressing myself.

One last question:
3: Should I show her the drawing first, then ask her to lunch or dinner,
or should I ask first, and then show the drawing later?
I don't plan to make a big deal out of the picture: Just mention it, pull it out, and let her react however she does.

Any advice is appreciated.

Last edited by Fatal-Noogie on 29 Mar 2009, 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

maybe its best to leave it for a while, show her when you know her better. i'd bet she'd be more likely to find it cute, rather than creepy, if you show her when you're closer as people.

it is impressive work though.

1. It is audacious but then art often is.

Once gave some artwork of a duck, with a trail of ripples to a girl I liked. My characteristic style at the time was to mask hard edge silhouettes and often just the primed white background coming through. The rest would be fairly colourful splashes of colour with a newsprint impression technique that I developed. Sometime I would do the reverse.

In a way I want it back. As it was probably the better of the two silhouettes (but no the best colour wise). I spent some time at a near by common pond sketching the ducks. However I don't regret giving it to her because it took courage.

I also gave one away to my ex-shrink of a fire extinguisher.

I say go for it. Worth the risk.

2. I find it captivating. I wouldn't try to improve on it as it will be overworked. "Exactitude is not Truth" - Matisse. I think you capture the moment well.

3. Not sure. I wouldn't be too formal about it. I sort of packaged mine up so she could view it after she got home after badminton.

I would wait just a LITTLE WHILE, until you know her a bit better. My reason is I think you want to get a sense of how she might react to the painting. Don't get me wrong, I think your painting is great (and I'm in an arts program myself, so I've seen a lot), but women, as we are all painfully aware, can be incredibly fickle about the most bizarre things. You need to find out what is this girl's image of herself? Is she confident, or self critical? Will this painting incur positive or negative feelings? Again, that's not insulting your painting in any way, but rather emphasizing that if she is insecure about some part of her body (say, for example, she thinks she's too thin), would this painting rekindle those feelings?

Basically, I think you want to be sure that she would appreciate it for what it is, and the work you've put into it, as opposed to eliciting some dreaded reaction like, "Is that how you think I look?"

But good luck!

BR

In all honesty, the drawing is great, but I think she's going to have issues with you drawing her in an emaciated look.

The drawing itself shows a very frail, overly thin individual. That's not going to help too much. Might as well draw other things, and show them to her, not necessarily giving them away.

I'd say show her the drawing first but don't immediately go ahead and ask her out. Or maybe as someone else here said, get to know her better a bit first, more so that you won't be completely surprised or taken off balance by her reaction.

I second z0rp's suggestion. Certainly do it that way round, rather than going on a date and then revealing the painting soon afterwards. Somehow, that sequence seems creepy, to me.

my first question is: does she know you're doing this?

i mean you've got a picture of her posing, so i'm assuming she knows you're doing it. if that's the case then i don't think it would be a bad idea to show her. i'd try to do it casually though, kind of a "by the way, i finished that drawing of you...". i agree that she does look a bit emaciated, so you might want to say something to that effect before showing it to her because it might shock her, something like "i'm just starting in water colour so it might look a bit different" but the overall quality is good and i'd think, if she doesn't mind looking thinner in the drawing, it would be flattering.

i'd give her the picture first but i wouldn't ask her out immediately after. again i'd try to be casual about it and before parting ways ask if she'd like to get some coffee or lunch sometime, then get her number if you don't already have it.

so the goal is to not make a huge deal about this, that can make some people uncomfortable. let us know how it goes. good luck.

I better clarify something: We already know each other fairly well.
We've spent about 10 hours working on group projects together in my
technical writing team, some of that chatting, so we're familiar, just not close friends.

Thx for all the advice.
I'm about to head over there now. I still don't know if she's in town for spring break.
If she's not home, I'll try her phone.

A note at her door indicates that she and her roommate are gone for spring break,
so I guess I won't get to meet her for a while,
which means I won't know her reaction for a while.

The bummer is that she declined my invitations to parties in the past
because of school-related obligations (she is a work-aholic so the excuses might be valid),
and now classes are about to start again.

If she knows your into drawing and you want her to know you like her then show it to her and ask her what she thinks but be prepared to be rejected and accept it w/o getting upset at her or anything because it may be awkward for her. If she doesn't know your into drawing and really enjoy it then don't show it to her until you are good friends and hang out from time to time outside of class because it will weird her out. The main rule about this is if you like her and want her to know then show her more attention and let her know you think of her by talking to her a little every time you meet maybe more if you feel like it but always pay attention to what she says no matter what even if your not in the mood or something and never ignore her. I've found some basic ideas from my many mess up's getting to know how to speak and get along well with girls that I like and ones I wanna date and ones I don't. The most important rule I think that applies to almost all cases even with us aspies is follow the golden rule with everyone. "Do unto them as you'd have them do unto you". Oh and you don't know anyone well until you spend time with them outside of school and such places, friends go hang out so ask her if she wants to go to lunch but make sure you have friends other than her at first for her comfort.

She wasn't posing. That was spontaneous. I was photographing something as part of a project, and I just flicked my wrist towards her and *SNAP* . She probably realized I took it. She knows I've taken pictures of her (she seems indifferent), and knows I draw obsessively, so it wouldn't be that much of a stretch to tell her.

I'll never have a class with her again, so if I don't take some initiative I'll never see her again, and I've got nothing to loose.
If nothing else, I just want to keep her as a friend. (After all, she is the tallest friend I have.)

Make absolutely sure she knows you took that picture of her and that she's ok with that picture before you show her the drawing. She may "seem" indifferent about other pictures, but be 100% sure that she does not object to that picture. If she objects to that picture, there's no way at all that she's going to appreciate your drawing that's based on the picture.

If she's totally ok with the picture, then you can show her your drawing. Note that you do not have to show her the drawing immediately after you show her the picture. Since she knows that you draw obsessively, this shouldn't come as too much of a surprise to her that you would draw something. However, again evaluate how she reacts to the drawing. If she takes offense to the drawing, then stop and apologize and don't tell her that you like her and would like her to be something more than a friend.

If she likes the picture AND the drawing, then it's two thumbs up for you and go ahead and tell her how you feel about her!

So what you have to do can be described logically:
Show her the picture. Does she like the picture?
- YES: continue to next question
- NO: apologize to her and stop
Show her the drawing. Does she like the drawing?
- YES: continue to next question
- NO: apologize to her and stop
Tell her how you feel.

The two "NO" possibilities are there because you do in fact have something to lose if you really screw things up: her friendship. You should do things gradually so that you don't come off too strongly, otherwise she'll get the feeling you don't really care if she disapproves and doesn't like something that you did. Something like that is a big deal-breaker when you're hoping to try to show interest in another person.

Hope that helps and good luck!

Stinkypuppy, paradoxically, your cautions, restrictive, and self-deprecating advice aroused my indignation, which made me realize some things which now make me feel instead more bold, confident, and assertive:

On the method of approach: Theatricality encourages me to show the drawing first, because if she doesn't know I have the photo, it could appear initially as if I have produced it miraculously from my memory and imagination, which sets a more impressive first impression. You say that I should show her the photo first so that I can stop there if she disapproves, but I feel that I need to show it to her, even if only for a moment. I shouldn't keep secret from her a piece of art inspired by her, featuring her, and dedicated to her; a piece in which I have invested at least twelve hours, and which I exhibit openly to others online? It would be negligent if I didn't mention it and show her a glimpse.
My artwork has earned me more friends than is has lost. The friends I gained were the most pleasant to be around, because they were resilient, relaxed, and tolerant. The friends I lost were not worth keeping. I like Sydni, but I must know which category she falls into. I don't want to be with someone so irritable that they get offended by a simple art project. If she can't handle it then I can't handle her. (That doesn't mean she has to like it, just be okay with the fact that I made it.)

Your comment seems to suggest through a round-about way, that should somehow feel shame for my actions:
Paradoxically, this made me realize that I am not the least bit ashamed that I took the photo and painted the drawing.
I have nothing to hide. I regret my technical mistakes, but not my effort.
Consequently refuse to apologize to you or Sydni or anyone for doing the drawings, under any circumstances. Seriously!
If I apologize for something I don't regret, that's called lying, and it's also humiliating and insincere.
I WILL apologize for my mistakes and poor aesthetics, but not my methods or intentions.
Furthermore, I'm not responsible for Sydni's feelings, so I won't pretend to be. The only person responsible for how Sydni feels is Sydni.
Conversely, I won't blame her for how I feel if I loose her, because the only person responsible for how I feel is me.
I will however, thank (not blame, THANK) Stinkypuppy for helping fill me with indignation, which inspired the following picture.
I drew it last night, and painting it in the day, then added the words in photoshop. It's still a work in progress.
It isn't directed at Sydni. It's directed at anyone who's ever been offended by what I draw.
I have a feeling you might not like it. ... tuff luck.

That's how I roll. . . . . . . (Hey. My hair kind-of looks like Sydni's.)

I WILL see Sydni again, and I WILL show her the painting of her and accept the consequences.

I'm not sure why you would think I would personally care whether you show your drawing to her or not. If you really feel that strongly about doing it regardless of what I suggested, then you gotta do what you gotta do. Either way, I do hope things work out for you! If you do it and it works out, then no love lost. But if it doesn't work out, then you get a bitter but good lesson to swallow, and you may have lost her as a friend. At least you would get a lesson for next time! You don't have to take my word for it and I don't take any personal offense at all.

The thought that somehow I would think you should feel shame for your actions is mistaken. I don't think you should apologize out of shame; shame is not a healthy reason for doing anything in my opinion. Apologies are a way of showing emotional respect to someone.

You aren't responsible for all of her feelings all of the time. But in a relationship based on love, each person is going to care to at least some extent how the other person feels, otherwise it's gonna be really difficult to reach any sort of compromise, which everybody has to do in a relationship.

By the way, thanks for the drawing! You really do draw very well, much better than I do certainly.
I suppose I was kinda expecting getting the middle finger, but I'm not choosy.

Good luck and let us know how things turn out! Wishing you the best

Fatal-Noogie I admire your attitude, good on you.