Another fielder

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There's a lassie Ive been txting back and forth for the past 2 weeks and THEN today she sends a txtmsg to me saying guess who Im hanging out with today and asking her who she informs me its a guy from the SAME damn dating site I met her on! (Okcupid)
WTF! What Im wondering is if she(being NT) was really tactless enough to say that to me....OR if she may have knowingly been trying to be manipulative towards me by making me feel jealous.....
Whadya guys think???

Hi, Haliphron. I think there are 3 main possibilities:

1. She's really immature and tactless and is not considering that you may feel hurt by this.

2. She's trying to make you jealous by showing that other men are interested in her. (This would also be an immature and tactless way to behave.)

3. She's hinting strongly to you that she's not really interested in you and is looking for another person to pair up with. Possibly she wants to avoid saying this to you directly and is hoping you'll take the hint and back off.

Maybe there's another explanation, but it's hard to imagine what. Perhaps you need to ask her. I don't think she sounds very nice, to be honest. I'm sorry. Jenny

I can think of a fourth possibility (or maybe just 2a.):

4. She's hinting that you should ask her out (I'm assuming that the extent of your contact with her has been texting.) It's still a ploy to make you a bit jealous, but the thing that really matters to her is getting a date with you. The unwritten message is "Hey, this guy from the dating site asked me out - you can too!"

I think 4/2a. is pretty much on point, except what matters is probably not just "getting a date with you", what matters is her being conflicted and wanting to get samples from both sides to make her own decision. It's rough out there dude, it sucks having to "compete" but I mean even once you get involved with someone usually it pretty much remains a constant competition with every playboy she comes across in her travels. Such is life.

The question is, at this point, do you even want to ask her out anymore? Assuming she's doing #4, that's a pretty good tipoff of how she is going to act while you are dating/in a relationship. Not all girls play these kinds of stupid mind games, but some do, and you have to ask yourself if you are equipped to deal with that, and if you find it funny/amusing, or frustrating and anxiety-inducing.

Personally, I think you should stop talking to her for a while, and pursue other avenues. Maybe her behavior will correct itself, but I'm thinking that no matter whether she's 1 through 4, she's proving herself to be a waste of your time and mental effort. Write this one off.

I am a member of okcupid, I like the quizzies o^_^o

Although, because of my avatar (Which goes against okcupid rules) alot think im a female. XD

strange people,

I am a member of okcupid, I like the quizzies o^_^o

Although, because of my avatar (Which goes against okcupid rules) alot think im a female. XD

strange people,

Not really sure what that was about.... Can we get back to topic? And please don't double-post or threadcrap.

This statement is true, no matter whether any of the others are true or not.

Proceed at your own risk.

Exactly. She did you a big favor by showing what trash she is. Take advantage of that, and cut your losses.

Yep...no matter what stage the relationship is in - even marriage.

I going for three.

This is one of the big reasons why people try to control and manipulate their partners. Because if they dont, there's always the chance that the competition will swoop in and lead someone away. In fact, if "such is life" than its NEVER wise to trust anyone since they could always be cheating on you behind your back and you need to create an incentive for them to stay with you that is more than just "love".

I actually think Zeichner is correct and she has expressed great interest in meeting up with me next weekend.

my only long lasting (long distance, online... SOB) relationship was like that. she would happily tell me guys she found hot, in between the i-love-you's and cant-wait-to-meet-you and the phonecalls, and she'd update me on how she was gonna party with the hot guys, eventually how she was totally in love with one - while reminding me how i shouldnt worry ( :S ) and finally, how she was actually gonna try to sleep with him.
yes.

thats when i broke it off, for good.
shes still trying to "get" me back, over msn, and i am often tempted to, as if i subconciously/instinctively want nothing but to get her back again, but i stop myself and remind myself: thats HOW SHE IS.
a "irl" relationship with her would litterally be hell.

Zeichner could well be correct, and she may have been trying to make you a bit jealous to prompt you to meet up with her rather than just texting her. (I don't see why she couldn't have suggested a meeting herself, but maybe she doesn't think women should make the first move- who knows?) Do be cautious, though- if she's meeting up with other men from the dating site, she may not be taking her relationship with you very seriously at this point, so it may be best not to let yourself get too attached too quickly. Good luck with your date this weekend, anyway! Jenny

Not enough information to really make any sort of interpretation for me. If you like her, why let the fact that someone else asked her a little sooner stop you - she's not taken yet, eh?


M.