There's a girl I like, who happens to have Aspergers

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There's a girl I really like, who I've only been talking to for a couple weeks. She is the most intelligent and the most beautiful person I have ever met (not just being hyperbolic). As I've gotten to know her, I've found that I'd really like to try to take the budding friendship in a romantic direction at some point. I happen to be a neurotypical and she happens to be an aspie.

How can I express my interest in her in a way that takes into account her neurological differences, and in a way that doesn't scare her off and ruin our friendship as well?

If it helps for the purpose of your answers: we both share a passion for philosophy and economics (yup, nerds), and both of us are neither really left-brained or right-brained... sort of a mix of analytical and artsy/extroverted and introverted.

The best thing to do at the onset is appeal to her interests... aspies often have a rather significant focus that many of their activities tend to revolve around. Since, as you stated, you already share similar passions in life, this should be relatively easy.

Some tips to keep in mind:
1) Be blunt. Aspies often have significant trouble picking up on subtle stuff... the severity of the situation varies by case, but if she seemingly ignores a suggestion, don't just assume she's not interested... it may have very well flown right over her head without her realizing it...

2) Be honest. Aspies often have a problem dealing with dishonesty, even if the ends are justified (the so-called "white lie")... It's better off in the long run to just tell the truth rather than make something up that you think will make her feel better...

3) Try to avoid lacing your speech with metaphors, at least early on. Many of us have trouble understanding non-literal speech, although this is less of a point than others... most aspies, given some time, will be able to understand most of the metaphoric speech you might use and what it's supposed to mean... If she has a tendency to use a lot of metaphor in her own speech, then you can safely ignore this (though if she doesn't understand something, even if you think it to be simple, do explain it)

4) If you're trying to get physically intimate and she pushes you away, it could be a sensory issue. Again, don't assume disinterest. Touch-aversion is a mixed bag among aspies... some can't stand to be touched in any way, others (like myself) love it...

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I love it when a guy talks nerdy to me.

PS: Some people say that a light touch is bad and a firm touch is good. It's a very individual thing.

I don't mean to be rude, but are you sure she likes you back in a romantic way?

SHE WILL DECIDE IF SHE WANTS TO DATE YOU, all you can do is offer her, but it is up to her, not you.

No offense taken. To answer your question: No, I have no idea. The whole point of expressing my interest in her is to find out what her feelings toward me actually are.



Of course. The whole reason for this thread is to get advice on HOW to offer it to her.

As I said before: Be a bit more direct with her than you would with another woman... subtlety can go right over her head... I'm not saying be completely blunt, but don't think that slight hinting is going to actually indicate your interest to her...

I was about to add one more one. If she doesn't get your jokes do not take it the wrong way. People on the spectrum have a different concept of humor, and we have a hard time picking up some personal humor.