Does anyone else here consider themselves to be "too lo

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LjosalfrBlot
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30 Oct 2011, 1:31 pm

Ok here's my problem. My (aspie) wife loves me to pieces but I'm way too... I don't know, emotional in a positive way? I think about her 24/7 and I usually don't tell her this but I also worry about ridiculous things happening to her a lot. I can never feel comfortable going somewhere unless she's with me. I go places on my own cause I know she likes having time on her own, but it's SO difficult to deal with. I don't want to be annoying/clingy or something so I try my hardest to do things the right way and not complain. I just feel safe and that she's safe when she's with me. Separating means the safety and comfort disappears. I do everything I can to make her happy and she's basically always pleased with me it seems so I'm not really worried about "us". I just want to be able to feel like a normal person so it won't possibly become a real problem for her. It's probably childish that I even think the way I do, so... I need help I think. Any suggestions?
I just don't want to have to rely on her like that, for her sake.



tronist
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30 Oct 2011, 1:43 pm

its all about re-training your brain. you have to catch yourself before you start to worry, then say to yourself 'im sure shes fine, and i cant wait to see her in X hours'

worrying all the time wont help you at all, try to catch yourself and stop it :D



purchase
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30 Oct 2011, 4:10 pm

Yeah, basically my mind takes the fact that life is not guaranteed very seriously and I don't want to be separated from people I really care about cause they are so precious to me and I feel like there's always a chance I might never see them again. I'm disgustingly clingy.


EDIT: NOT to say you're disgustingly clingy. I am honestly very glad to hear your relationship is going well apart from the stress worrying puts on you. Just saying others don't like that about me.



nick007
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31 Oct 2011, 10:24 am

I can really relate to that OP because I'm kind of like that myself with my Aspie girl(I'm an Aspie too incase it's relevant). I started taking an anxiety med because I was having some panic-attacks worrying about her & things with our relationship. I think I was kind of codependent due to my anxiety & I'm a lot less anxious now. I still have urges to act clingy & needy but I try to think more logically before I act & I can resist acting really bad usually. I spent a lot of time analyzing things trying to understand why I'm like that & how I can improve that & other things in my life so I could feel a little more secure/confident & be better able to help her with things & be more attractive/appealing to her. I talk to her about my concerns, how I feel about things ect & being able to go to her & talk about anything helps me feel a lot better. I'm still needy & clingy but I'm dealing with it a lot better


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