Being set up with someone

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How does everyone feel about this?

I personally hate it mostly because people do not know my tastes so they have no business setting me up with someone I might not like. I realize that they are trying to help me but it is something I would rather do myself. Besides, I'm too proud and stubborn to accept that kind of help from anyone even if I really am incapable of finding someone myself. Someone doing that for me would make me feel like I can't do anything on my own. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life. But that is just me, I take after my father for being proud and stubborn.

So how about the rest of you? I've never seen a topic like this and am curious about how other aspies feel about it. Anyone else as stubborn as I am?

yes. havent been there, but i can predict my reaction, if someone were trying to set me up

it would be awful... i would want to decline, but then it would be tricky, w the date and all, not offending people, people doing it out of good, etc etc. horror.

A long time ago (around 1999), a woman at an earlier job set me up on a date with this 22 year old girl after i told her that i had not been on a date for over 2 years.

I went, the girl looked nice and was quite geeky so we started to talk about computers rightaway while we ate Thaifood. So, the date started out well, but it took a nosedive when i found out that the girl i went out with was a friends-friends undivorced wife...

Moral of the story: Being "set up with someone" is a nice idea, but be carefull...

I would refuse it. I would want to know the person well first. Being set up with a stranger would make me feel very nervous and uncomfortable. If I was ever set up, I would not show up.

I was always of the opinion of 'what the hell, it's worth a shot, what's the worst that could happen?'

dont challenge the spirits of jinx!

It's never happened to me, but I know I wouldn't have liked it if it had. People will try to pick someone for you they think will be good for you, not who you think will be good for you, or someone who they think will help with your perceived deficiencies. The closest thing that has happened is people have tried to push me towards asking someone out, but I never did.

One was in college and her name was Deborah. She was the younger sister of one of my sister's friends and for some reason, my sister and my parents thought she'd be good for me. Deborah was nice but we didn't have much in common, but they thought the fact she liked to talk and was more social than I was might help me since I didn't talk much and wasn't very social. What made no sense was this girl already had a boyfriend, in fact, the same one for a couple of years. She was having some problems with him though, considering she was graduating soon and wanted to get married while he wanted to go to medical school. I guess they were hoping to get me to make a move if they broke up.

The other was a girl named Jennifer I worked with. Some of my coworkers pressured me to ask her out since she and I were the only singles in our 20s in that office. There was just something funny about her that nobody could put their finger on. She tended to be spaced out alot, and she wore eyglasses that looked like they were from the 60s. She was geeky and might have been aspie, but there's no way to know for sure. It was believed she had a drinking problem, which is very possible, but again, I don't know.

I had people trying to get me to ask her out and one even brought her to my office once, but I still didn't. One even told me she said she'd accept if I asked her, but I never did. I guess pushing me in that direction made me do the opposite. I also think dating people you work in the same office with is a bad idea.

Just my thoughts.

I wouldn't greatly object to it, but I wouldn't look for it. Generally, I'd rather look for myself. Getting "set up" is awkward on levels which just meeting the person isn't, and I don't especially like the idea of a middle person having anything to do with it. I start to think they must have vested interests.

In summer camp when I was sixteen, I had a few different people trying to set me up with girls. They all failed, and after the first couple of rejections (leading to a great deal of awkwardness with said girls afterward) I was quite dejected and unwilling to listen to their other suggestions. Also, I was "set up" with a girl in the same camp a couple of years prior, and encouraging remarks that were given to me by the middle party made me much more presumptuous than I really should have been about the feelings of a girl who wasn't my girlfriend. Not to blame it all on the middle guys, but a pinch of salt is needed with these things to put it lightly.

I'm OK with being set up with someone. I'd welcome it. Of course, it would most likely end up being an embarrassing train wreck, still I'd take advantage of the opportunity. I welcome new experiences however embarrassing they may be.

I'd best not shake my rain stick then, eh? Otherwise my date's dress will get all wet on the way to the restaurant.