Funny story

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Alright, so I was at a party last night with a group of friends, about 1am-ish, and we were sitting in a large circle playing "Never-have-I-ever".

(For anyone who doesn't know the game, pretty much it goes around the circle and each person has to say "Never have I ever___", and anyone who has done that thing has to drink. Eg. if someone says, "Never have I ever eaten an orange.", then everybody in the circle who has eaten an orange has to drink)

So yes, someone in the circle goes, "Never have I ever had sex." And every single person in the circle drinks except me.

Obviously, everyone turns to look at me in blatant astonishment like they can't believe it - one of those things that happens all the time if you're an aspie.

But here's the good bit; I didn't feel left out, sad, or even disgruntled. I actually felt happy. I felt happy because I was different, my experiences in life were different, and I hadn't done the same old stuff everybody else did at the same times. I was GLAD that I wasn't another face in that crowd of sameness.

Sex is OVERRATED. It is not the be-all and end all in life, and I know this because I have heard many different accounts from my friends. It's just another experience, no better or worse than every other experience. And even though a lot of us aspies haven't had that experience, we've had experiences that other sexually active people will probably never have in their lifetime due to our unique way of looking at the world, and unique mind-functioning.

So to all the other aspie virgins out there, I say VIRGIN PRIDE. Screw society telling us that sex is one of the best experiences we will ever have in life. Didn't society also say that drinking was one of the best experiences we'll ever have in life? Well, I don't know about everyone else, but drinking wouldn't rate in my top 10.

Why are so many of us wasting our lives away moping that we are missing out on all that is good in life because we haven't had sex? If NT's knew what they were missing out on by not having special interests (in the pure ecstasy we get out of those), they might spend their lives moping away too, but for something they knew they *definitely* would never have.

Well said sunshower. In todays society having sex is seen as an accomplishment, I on the other hand think that having sex with the right person and in the right way is an accomplishment. I always form the idea that intercourse with someone is the ultimate form or show of trust and love in that person. Your virginity being something sacred and something which you should part ways with in only the most ideal circumstances. My beliefs have helped me to think this way. I know others out there might not agree with me, but in know am I saying that I am right and everyone is wrong. But as you say to those out there who feel that they are missing something should not feel sad, because we still hold on to something dear, which others do not.

I would never tell anyone, not even my friends, whether or not I've had sex. If they ask, I say "Yes. No. Maybe so "

i did not realize it. so all adults are basically open about not being virgins but they don't say who with of course. it's kind of a given that an adult in his twenties is not so it's socially acceptable to admit that in public, right?

People are different, my point was that these days so many people AREN'T virgins by our age that if a guy asks if you've ever had sex, and you say 'that's none of your business' they'll just assume you're ashamed of being a virgin and don't want to talk about it. It's s**t, yeah, but it's the way it is.

Although I don't believe in any of that "purity" nonsense, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin. Sex has become a right-of-passage exercise, you are expected to have performed it by a certain stage of your life (who you actually do it with is secondary). I think it's wrong, I agree with i_wanna_blue in that it shouldn't be something that everyone is just expected to do (like complete school, or get a job). It is different for every person, for some it's just a simple act of pleasure and means very little in a deeper sense, but for others it is the ultimate act of invasion and trust. So many people are just pushed into doing it by a certain age because they believe it's expected of them as a human being, but I think for some people this can cause life long emotional scarring.

I think it's evil that people are brainwashed into being ashamed of their virginity. It's like a constant subtle pressure to do something that simply feels *wrong*. It's the same as pressuring people to smoke or take drugs, although sex is not bad for you like that, it can be equally damaging (only mentally and emotionally instead of physically) for people who aren't ready to take that step.

Interesting that being a virgin is so rare (I'm guessing the people you were with weren't too old, maybe low twenties).

I wouldn't be surprised if some of them lied to not feel left out. You know it is really easy to lie about sex, because its not like the whole world watches.

Sex can be enjoyable in the right circumstances, but I prefer special interests to sex a majority of the time.

Pressure to have sex is also tied up in self worth and acceptance, but I'm going to agree with the OP-don't do it if you're not comfortable.

I'm astonished that everyone gaped at you. Frankly, they don't sound like people I'd advise spending time with.

I'm usually pretty cool with being admitting to being a virgin.

Actually I may be imagining things, but under the right circumstances it can create a pity response... that might be called companionship.

I once looked like I needed a hug, and two girls wanted to give me a hug... and I said of course I want a hug... and got a hug.

That's kind of the opposite of sex...