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Can you say "i love you" too much in a relationship?
Poll ended at 01 Jun 2009, 1:34 pm
Yes 43%  43%  [ 9 ]
No 29%  29%  [ 6 ]
Depends (please explain) 19%  19%  [ 4 ]
Don't know 10%  10%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 21

bunnyowen
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01 May 2009, 1:34 pm

Can you say it too often?

We both say it in every text, every conversation (both in real-life and on msn), every email, every time we communicate... Is that too much?

I hope not :)



makuranososhi
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01 May 2009, 1:46 pm

Depends - provided it is mutually pleasing, then I don't think you can say it enough. But it is a balance and depends on the other person's comfort level. My fiance and I are similar to what you are describing, because it is something we both find assuring and wonderful. Others would not find it so.


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redplanet
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01 May 2009, 2:40 pm

I also think it depends on the relationship and want you both want/need. There's no right or wrong or too much or too little. It's all a matter of personal choice. If two people in a relationship want to say "I love you" everytime they communicate and it works for them then it doesn't matter to anyone else. Personally, I feel uncomfortable with heavy emotional expression and I would find hearing those words all the time quite suffocating so I prefer to leave them for special moments, but those are my feelings.



Butterflair
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01 May 2009, 6:39 pm

Not if it's mutual and you both like it. If one is saying it and the other is not, then it might be. Seems like your fine.


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techstepgenr8tion
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01 May 2009, 6:45 pm

I'd really have to mean it - at least on breaking the initial seal of use with someone. I'd refuse to use it to manipulate. If she was having a moment of self-consciousness or worrying what I though of something she did, a big warm hug can probably corrode a lot of that and I guess I'm ok with using the words regularly if I am in fact on the marriage path with a girl; though its not something I'd take in vain and always something that I'd feel the need to backup with body language - if I was too tired, beat up, out of it, in too bad of a mood to make it resonate - I'd save it for another time when I did have all those things to back it up (or, I'd just make sure I could change the dynamic before I said it).



JohnHopkins
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01 May 2009, 10:02 pm

Yes, you can say it too much and/or in the wrong context and that cheapens it. I've made a conscious effort to reel in how much I say it because my girlfriend told me that I was saying it so much that she didn't always want to say it back, because it lessened what it meant to us both. She only wants us saying it when we completely mean it.



aleclair
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01 May 2009, 10:53 pm

Yes you can, though when I was in a relationship my girlfriend thought the exact opposite. You see, if you say it too much, what's originally a genuine statement of interest loses its authenticity and degenerates to just something else you say to keep the relationship going and prevent her from breaking up with you for just another time step.



makuranososhi
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02 May 2009, 11:08 am

JohnHopkins wrote:
Yes, you can say it too much and/or in the wrong context and that cheapens it. I've made a conscious effort to reel in how much I say it because my girlfriend told me that I was saying it so much that she didn't always want to say it back, because it lessened what it meant to us both. She only wants us saying it when we completely mean it.


That is something I have experienced... and I respect her position; each person and relationship is different. I find that sharing love is better than doling it out in my life.


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JohnHopkins
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02 May 2009, 3:43 pm

Well, like you said, it should be mutually pleasing.



makuranososhi
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02 May 2009, 5:18 pm

Thoroughly agree; a balance between one's need to express (or not) and the others' ability to hear/listen/accept it.


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